Troubled Marriage-please Help-am Literally Dying Every Moment

So , Cry married better than cry divorced ?
And Don’t worry , we are not hurt just offended !

 

Please don’t feel sorry for us women ! You think men are not affected by divorce , so it’s only us poor weak women that should dress up, recall happy moments and try to win back husband’s affection.

 

• Are there marriages where a woman feels trapped ?
• Work, work, work… and no real salary, or some acceptable form of non-monetary appreciation ?
• Feels like a hostage, but the immediate alternatives to captivity are worse ?
• Is advised to accept her keeper(s), and even love them, i.e., achieve the symptoms of a named, well studied psychological phenom' ?

When the hostage/captive is reconciled to the situation,
it is quite a sophisticated settlement,
designed in Scandinavia, but produced in a poor country.
Much like IKEA products.

noun: Stockholm syndrome
feelings of trust or affection felt in many cases of kidnapping or hostage-taking by a victim towards a captor or captors.

 

Divorce not only effects women ..but it effects entire family including men, kids and women.

I am not only saying women only to try for love and affection it should be both sides.

I am looking for a positive thought and happy family with good future to kids.

I too accept, we come across women working in home and offices they are doing without taking any salary from husband and kids.

If we feel we are striving for the better future of our kids then we will be happy. If we feel why should I only to strive? Then the problem starts. It's not only women it applies to men as well.

 

Without a women in a family, there is no value to a family. I can feel the same because, I can't imagine my family without my mother or my wife.

Both the thoughts will makes me to feel blank.

Mother is important to every kid as she has given birth bearing a lots of pain and struggles.

Wife is also equally important for husband because she is the one who is going be the partner in all aspects whether it is good or bad.

We men always looks to keep both the eyes happy...no one is interested to be blind. There are few men who are not treating their wife proper due to some understanding gap.

Because of which don't kill the relationship but try to build the relationship. It will be painful to do listen or to follow but, it's fact.

That's why we all are happy to see our parents living together and supporting us.

 

When a kid is reminded of MOTHER as the birth-giver, "bearing a lots of pain and stuggles", he should not marry and subject the wife. the other eye?, to the same pain and struggles.

 

old post..

 

You are educated and has self esteem. It is important to stand on your foot to gain respect and recognition in the family as well as in the society. You will have to find a job immediately. It doesnt need to be as a software engineer. A receptionist or clerical job is fair enough.

By Marriage, you accepted a package of good and bad things. This is a reality for everyone. In your case MIL was an unwanted commodity. IGNORE her completely. You see and accept good things only. Rest of the commodities in the package shall be dumped in the store room. Dont let them to spoil your bedroom / living room / kitchen.
Do not hear / listen / talk negative / bad things even though they try to disturb you due to factors which are not in your control. Share your emotions / problems with your parents/ sisters.

May God Bless.

 

Dear Kris,

I am really sorry for your situation, but as other freinds said, you plan a day to avoid these things I mean always makes yourself busy so you can forgot these things for sometime atleast. Its better to get a job and be Indepdanat.

I am also still facing these issues from past 4 years same as you but it is for few hours I need to think forthem since I am working and will there in office for 9 hours rest hours for some time I will be working as a donkey in home. I feel tired but compared to other tourture this is fine I felt.

And my husband also same as your husband dont care me , nothing will intimated, and always his mom and friends no respect to me.... suddenly he will get love on me... for 1 or 2 days for a month remaninng 28 days no talks nothing .

Now I made myself busy in works in home and my baby and my office... so this is my life....


Not only we are facing these problems many of the girls are facing these situations even they are inddepandant still showing difference girl should do all works in home and baby, and office but they wont help and they will enjoy with the friends, parties and they wont move from the place where they sitting on weekend continuasly watching movies or etc........

All are compromised with their lives so thats why husbands are still ruling.. other 80% of gents should live alone without family .

 

@kris98

This is an old post.

All are debating without your participation. How are you gal? Safe? Are these suggestions still relevant? Has your situation improved in the past one year? If not, try to answer some of the questions I am posing. You answer yourself honestly and you may find a way to change your situation.

Why are you in this marriage? Any weakness, force, fear (society, parents, low confidence, child custody....) Be brutally honest and face your fear. Awareness of your weakness is the first step to strengthen yourself. Your mil n husband know your weakness and so they are exploiting you.

What is the worst that can happen? Strengthen yourself and face it. Virtually go through it, find your options and take a leap of faith... Everything will be fine.

You owe something to yourself and your soul. 10 years is a long time. Change your paradigm, change yourself by 180 degrees. In this process actively seek the help of parents, siblings, relatives, friends, social organizations and even the police, if needed.

Once you develop this confidence, you will be able to take the right decision and fight your situation.Remeber, our own fears cripple us.

Once your husband starts seeing a big change in you, if he has even a bit of care n concern for you, he too will try to change. Otherwise, it is a clear sign that he doesn't care for you. so don't waste anymore of your life or time with him. Walk out.

Failed marriage is not a sign of personal failure. It happens. Shrug it off and move on.

I am being blunt as I am concerned. Wherever you are, please take care of yourself. God Bless.