Help

cheenu123 · Aug 22, 2017

@Deborah,

It is people like you who make me glued to this site.
I miss some members like @yellowmango and few more. I guess all are busy.

yellowmango · Aug 22, 2017

Cheenu,this never married guy seems to have more baggage than most divorcees or widows would have.
Besides ,who does not have issues.
We are all defective in some sense.

The good side is that he is honest and doesn't seem like a predator.
To be honest, he doesn't seem like much interested in ever settling down. He seems to have given up on a family life.

If you enjoy talking to him ,continue doing so. We all need good friends ,but don't get emotionally involved. Don't have any hopes pining on this one.

You are a young independent woman ,be confident .

If ever there is any chance,let him be the one to persue you .
Till then...enjoy his company if that makes you happy.

yellowmango1973 · Aug 23, 2017

cheenu123 said: ↑

Hi,

Well, I'm not really sure if this issue is serious enough for me to start a new thread. I guess it is. I'm a member at a dating site and I recently started speaking to a guy who is 40 and never married. He is 7 years older to me and clearly, very sorted and mature in his conversations and outlook towards life in general.
Now yesterday while talking over phone I casually asked him why doesn't he get enrolled on the matrimonial sites (FYI he is aware of my divorced status). He casually stated that he was on the wrong side of age and now at 40, he can't expect anyone except a divorcee or a widow or someone with an issue. He shared that he had a couple of medical ailments such as diabetes and hypertension, he had a very engaging business and otherwise an uneventful life which a young bride or a never married girl might not approve of. So, he his happy with the realization that he would get someone with a baggage.
When he was about to end the call, he immediately recalled what he said and said sorry. He said nothing that he said was meant for me and that I should not overthink over what he said. And to be honest, I have been doing exactly the same thing, overthinking.

This was the first time he said something which hit me, I somehow felt that I was a defected or a used commodity you know. Though at the same time a part of me strongly advocates that he shared his thought process and probably I'm living in some sort of a denial.

My mind is cluttered.

Please help.
Click to expand...

dont get attached to that person . let him come your way first . let him fell in love for you first . you know what im saying . youve already gone through heartbreak in life . i understand how difficult it is for you to trust someone completely. let him win your trust first then think about him seriously.

Elsa · Aug 23, 2017

cheenu123 said: ↑

Hi,

Well, I'm not really sure if this issue is serious enough for me to start a new thread. I guess it is. I'm a member at a dating site and I recently started speaking to a guy who is 40 and never married. He is 7 years older to me and clearly, very sorted and mature in his conversations and outlook towards life in general.
Now yesterday while talking over phone I casually asked him why doesn't he get enrolled on the matrimonial sites (FYI he is aware of my divorced status). He casually stated that he was on the wrong side of age and now at 40, he can't expect anyone except a divorcee or a widow or someone with an issue. He shared that he had a couple of medical ailments such as diabetes and hypertension, he had a very engaging business and otherwise an uneventful life which a young bride or a never married girl might not approve of. So, he his happy with the realization that he would get someone with a baggage.
When he was about to end the call, he immediately recalled what he said and said sorry. He said nothing that he said was meant for me and that I should not overthink over what he said. And to be honest, I have been doing exactly the same thing, overthinking.

This was the first time he said something which hit me, I somehow felt that I was a defected or a used commodity you know. Though at the same time a part of me strongly advocates that he shared his thought process and probably I'm living in some sort of a denial.

My mind is cluttered.

Please help.
Click to expand...

To me, going by your description, he seemed to be a no-nonsense straightforward guy looking for dates on a dating website. If you are looking for a man to date and then check if he is good enough for marriage, you should probably take it slow and talk about marriage only after you are serious about the man. If you are looking for someone to marry, you are looking at the wrong place. If you just want to date, there is nothing in his answer that you should feel bad about. You asked about his age and intentions to get married indirectky and he answered your question.

nolife · Aug 30, 2017

I feel he is honest. If you are just looking for date and want a friend to share thoughts you can go ahead but most women are emotional and might get attached to men easily at this stage. Do you really want another heart ache?
If you have not moved on from past then you can hold your self from marriage but if you have moved on and at 33 I dont see a need why you should wait couple of more years and miss good matches on your way.
Try to talk to him more and see if he is looking for commitment. Meet him and see how things go. If he is not interested in you there is no point in wasting your time on this guy. To me it looks like you liked him a lot.

pujaaree · Oct 30, 2017

cheenu123 said: ↑

Hi,

Well, I'm not really sure if this issue is serious enough for me to start a new thread. I guess it is. I'm a member at a dating site and I recently started speaking to a guy who is 40 and never married. He is 7 years older to me and clearly, very sorted and mature in his conversations and outlook towards life in general.
Now yesterday while talking over phone I casually asked him why doesn't he get enrolled on the matrimonial sites (FYI he is aware of my divorced status). He casually stated that he was on the wrong side of age and now at 40, he can't expect anyone except a divorcee or a widow or someone with an issue. He shared that he had a couple of medical ailments such as diabetes and hypertension, he had a very engaging business and otherwise an uneventful life which a young bride or a never married girl might not approve of. So, he his happy with the realization that he would get someone with a baggage.
When he was about to end the call, he immediately recalled what he said and said sorry. He said nothing that he said was meant for me and that I should not overthink over what he said. And to be honest, I have been doing exactly the same thing, overthinking.

This was the first time he said something which hit me, I somehow felt that I was a defected or a used commodity you know. Though at the same time a part of me strongly advocates that he shared his thought process and probably I'm living in some sort of a denial.

My mind is cluttered.

Please help.
Click to expand...

got my lover back with a love spell

MrCroc · Jan 19, 2018

For some guys thinking sometime goes like this: I have acomplished such and such and I deserve such and such. It's a very achievement oriented thinking. They see things almost completely in terms of achievement and rewards. Marriage or partner at times
as well. Needless to say it leads them to perceive a marriage with some one who is divorced or widowed as second rung almost instinctively. The guy might have logically
agreed on the compatiabiliy of his potential partner but he will see it as a silver medal instinctively.