Minor Issues That Are Irritating Me, Not Sure How To Handle!!

Sunshine04 · Sep 6, 2017

None of these issues are minor.
Was he like this always??

meetmeonline · Sep 6, 2017

I do not think there is something to be sarcastic about feeding or ironing clothes. When you love someone, you do these small chores out of love. May be that could be one reason why he behaves like that, or may be its my hormones that make me feel bad just because I put in somuch effort and it is not recriprocated well. Yes, I do agree I should not pamper him so much.May be the lack of child so long made me do all this. If I would have had a child in first year of marriage, I do not think so I would have pampered him that much. The extra free time is to be blamed here may be. And why I state it as MINOR ISSUES, because I do not think these are big things between us. Its not like something is going to break our marriage, Almost every one faces problem when silly in-laws interfere. I consider we both being busy and the added responsibility thats comming in with the disruption caused by in-laws are working against and causing more of friction. True he bahaves immature sometimes, and is a kind of short tempered individual. And the problem is I do not have patience these days to bear it well. Somehow now I am much releived after writting in this forum and much more relaxed. It worked well for me . Thankyou All!!

Deborah · Sep 6, 2017

@meetmeonline - you have yourself given answers to a lot of questions. Hope you are at ease now.I do agree with one thing - stop with the pampering.Its not about ironing ( many women do it) or feeding. It's about you not becoming his mother and both of you behaving as adults.
And you are right, maybe presence of your parents is ticking him off. He knows you need them so he can't tell them to leave. So instead he might be taking out his frustration on you ( which is not right).
I think you are doing the right thing by being silent for a while. He might repent his words later when by himself. But if this continues, I strongly suggest asking him to stop this behavior of his. Some people take it for granted when the other remains silent.They know what they are doing is wrong but they enjoy it so much ( specially because they know they will get away with it) that they can't stop.All the best with your pregnancy . Hope things change soon.

DDream · Sep 6, 2017

meetmeonline said: ↑

I do not think there is something to be sarcastic about feeding or ironing clothes. When you love someone, you do these small chores out of love. May be that could be one reason why he behaves like that, or may be its my hormones that make me feel bad just because I put in somuch effort and it is not recriprocated well. Yes, I do agree I should not pamper him so much.May be the lack of child so long made me do all this. If I would have had a child in first year of marriage, I do not think so I would have pampered him that much. The extra free time is to be blamed here may be. And why I state it as MINOR ISSUES, because I do not think these are big things between us. Its not like something is going to break our marriage, Almost every one faces problem when silly in-laws interfere. I consider we both being busy and the added responsibility thats comming in with the disruption caused by in-laws are working against and causing more of friction. True he bahaves immature sometimes, and is a kind of short tempered individual. And the problem is I do not have patience these days to bear it well. Somehow now I am much releived after writting in this forum and much more relaxed. It worked well for me . Thankyou All!!
Click to expand...

OP , Good to know you are feeling better. We do lot out things out of love. But dont allow this love to spoil some one be it a kid or a husband. Now your parents are there. Are they going to stay there for long. Once they left, you are alone to take care of yourself and your baby (lot of work, no sleep etc), your home, cooking, cleaning etc. In addition taking care of your dh this way will be too much for you. There can be a chance that this may create more issue in your life. That why everyone is suggesting you to give your husband a chance to grow up. If he dont take up responsibility now, later he expect same service from you.. he may take you for granted. Anyway, it is up to you
Have a great time and happy delivery.

sindmani · Sep 6, 2017

Op 34 weeks pregnant is the time u need to prepare for ur delivery both mentally and physically. You are very patient person . But now I would say is refrain from little extra work u do (I know u r happy to do) but this is time you train ur husband to do little things himself which will be helpful for u because once the baby comes , u will have more work. For now its time to Be happy. It seems ur husband is a bit irritated due to some reason. But make him understand his words can hurt u.

Sandycandy · Sep 6, 2017

Glad writing here helped you ! Sorry if few of us sounded sarcastic about the feeding . Ofcourse people do things out of love , sometimes crazy. This is what I told my husband when I used his toothbrush by mistake once . Apparently Rajesh khanna and Tina mooneem shared one poor toothbrush when they were in love and lived together. I am sure they share the same oral bacterial flora now . Sorry I digress, but the point is yes people do things out of love. Love and respect that is reciprocated . The feeding did not bother me as much as your husband's immature behavior.But if you have no problem I don't see why his behavior should bother me or anyone. I am glad you are able to reason and justify his behavior , this is not the time to fight battles. i hope your justification holds true and he behaves his age once everything is settled down. Because parenting in general needs a lot of patience, which comes with lots of maturity. Good luck with everything ! Take care !

meetmeonline said: ↑

I do not think there is something to be sarcastic about feeding or ironing clothes. When you love someone, you do these small chores out of love. May be that could be one reason why he behaves like that, or may be its my hormones that make me feel bad just because I put in somuch effort and it is not recriprocated well. Yes, I do agree I should not pamper him so much.May be the lack of child so long made me do all this. If I would have had a child in first year of marriage, I do not think so I would have pampered him that much. The extra free time is to be blamed here may be. And why I state it as MINOR ISSUES, because I do not think these are big things between us. Its not like something is going to break our marriage, Almost every one faces problem when silly in-laws interfere. I consider we both being busy and the added responsibility thats comming in with the disruption caused by in-laws are working against and causing more of friction. True he bahaves immature sometimes, and is a kind of short tempered individual. And the problem is I do not have patience these days to bear it well. Somehow now I am much releived after writting in this forum and much more relaxed. It worked well for me . Thankyou All!!
Click to expand...

Dishaa · Sep 7, 2017

Dear meetmeonline,

First of all Congratulations...

I guess ur Dh is going thru mid life crisis, both u guys are going to have a change in ur life styles after d baby.

If possible u can go out for an date/walk/spend some alone time with ur Dh & there u can discuss about how u felt about his changed behavior.

I guess ur problem is temporary and will get resolved. Take care of urself, be happy, eat well, sleep well, try to concentrate on ur needs and requirements. Do what makes u feel good.

Best wishes.....