Feel Like Dh Is Being Used

Maybe they don't call you guys as much or inquire about health when one of you is sick, because your husband keeps them updated? They know that even if they don't ask, the call from him will come at regular intervals.

Does your husband expect you to talk to your PILs and cosis? If he does not, I suggest you start backing off slowly. If he insists that you also talk, tell him you'd be glad to if they also reciprocated to some extent. Since he seems conservative in thinking with regard to family, you can say that being the elder DIL you need to maintain your respect and cosis needs to call you too, if he insists you speak to her.

As for cooking during India trips, try to order part of the meal and make only simple items next time. The time after that, pretend like you're really busy with outings/shopping and leave it to them.

When they visit you, cook whatever is possible and do not bend over backwards.

If your husband does expect you to go the extra mile along with him, I honestly do not think he is treating you that well.
(From your post I did not understand if you do it out of pressure from him or because you want to be nice)

Personally I wouldn't mind accommodating PILs to some possible extent but will not bend over backwards for BIL/cosis/SIL. You risk being taken for granted and losing respect in the long run, not only from them but their kids too.

 

Adding some small points:

Have you communicated your expectations to them? If they are sensible, they will listen. If not, they could create unneccessary drama over this.

Don't be in cosis' kitchen. Let it be clear it is "their" kitchen. Ask them - So, what are we having today?

 

I don't see a huge problem here.

Your H loves to be generous, and he feels happy and peace with this.
He constantly updates with his folks, and get their updates by contacting them. It seems he is the one who needs all these updates, and he is find doing it.
Unless he forces you to do these updates or sewa on behalf of him, I do not think there is anything you should worry about.
In case, if you are worried about the matters he updates with his folks, (like private info, very personal stuff etc), then be upfront with your H and see what exactly he can share and what not. Else, leave it to him. Don't bother.

As for the service you guys do to them when they visit here, as well when you visit them... Certain things need to be communicated and arranged beforehand.
Tell your H that you can do only so much. It is important to entertain guests, specially in laws family when they visit you.
If they are OK type, do your best.
Take a few day offs, and make special meals. Take them out, chit chat with them, and enjoy your togetherness as much as you can.
When you are visiting them, expect the same.
Be clear with your H that you are on vacation, and prioritize your wishes during vacation times. You can always support them in the kitchen whenever you are free and ready. But slogging at someone's kitchen during vacation is too much. Make a full stop to this tactfully.

Do not confuse with your relationship with your PILs to your H's relationship with them. It is different. Let him do whatever with his folks as they both please.
But when it comes to your relationship with them, be practical.
If your H forces you to go extra miles just as him, then say NO.

When you say NO to the things that matters to you, your H will listen to you.