Is Prob Within Me

If you guys have other friends that are married, try going out together in a group so you guys can build friendships with other couples. Each of you will always have your own friends too, there is nothing wrong with that. It can be good to have other sources of support and fun outside of your husband / wife.

What kind of things do you think she doesn't do the right way? Is it small household things or behavior things? It can be hard for someone to hear "don't do this", she is an adult too and has lived a long time without you. You both need to adjust to each other. If it's not a big deal, just drop it. If it's something like you want her to spend more time with you, rather than say "Don't go out with your friends." Which just sounds controlling and mean, say "I would like to spend more time with you, let's go shopping / watch a movie tomorrow evening."

 

1 yr with no physical intimacy !!!!! Thats a BIG BOLD RED FLAG. Something is seriously wrong with your wife.

Ask her WHY she is not interested in the marriage with you ? If she continues to fight or yell, bring in a common party like her parents, so they can intervene.

 

Op ...has your marriage been consummated?

No intimacy for a year is serious,no matter what the issues between the couple.It speaks of serious incompatibility .This is not likely to go away. It might get a little better ,but is it acceptable in the long run.

By law...denying intimacy for long periods is considered cruelty and reason for separation.
Please do think about couples therapy....and don't have a child unless this issue gets better. Unlike what people say...a child does not solve problems in a marriage....but it binds you in a bad marriage.

Best Wishes OP.

 

OP, I think you need to seek some help. Something is wrong. Is she afraid or have some emotional/physical issues ? What about you? We dont know her version. But one year is enough time to build intimacy. You need to stay calm and discuss with her (no argument/ finding faults/pointing fingers) about your expectations, what prevents her from intimacy , did you do something wrong to her etc and what action you may take if this continues. ( practice in mind what are the things you want to talk to prevent any argument or fight ). Make her to open up about her problem or the issue. Tell her that you are longing for a happy married life with her and both of you need to work on it. May be you both need to consult a doctor/ go for therapy or counselling. Try first to solve the issue between you two and give her enough time if she agrees to it. Tell her that if nothing works you dont have any other option than to involve parents in this matter and think about separation as it is a genuine reason (last option). Stay calm. Please dont think about bringing a child into your life unless both of you are on the same page. Did she tell you any thing on why is she behaving like this.

 

OP,
Sorry to hear. Just ask yourself what do you want . Do you want to continue this way for ever.. I am sure you are not... if she is not willing what exactly you want to do. I am sure get an answer.

We don't know about your wife's version on this.. but have a talk with her in calm and composed way about what do you want and if she is not willing to take step, what way you want to proceed.. do you want to continue in this marriage or not, or you are going to inform both sides of parents about it.. etc.

But first ask her, the exact reason for this indifference , is she afraid or anything else. Is she ready to see a specialist or counseling.. sometimes those steps helps...1.5y.. this way..!time to take an action. Whatever it is...You deserve a happy and blessed life...

 

@Weeji - I'm so sorry to hear that you are struggling with your marriage life. This seems so similar to my marriage, when we first started out (well, other than the consummation part). Do you feel like you have an emotional connection with your wife. Does she have one with you? I think that has not happened yet.

Before I go down the rabbit hole of the really bad things that could be keeping you two from connecting, let's explore the things you have control over.

Does your wife think you are attractive? - Don't let her off on this one, it's pretty important. If she things that you have bad hygiene or something else, it could really affect the relationship.

Do you have common interests and topics to talk about? - Do you share your thoughts freely or is there a block in the conversation. Does she stop you from talking about certain topics you enjoy or vice versa? Do you like to do things together? Travel, theme parks, workout, etc.

Do you have romantic outings together? - Have you gone on a date, like dressing up and going somewhere fancy to eat and then a concert? Whatever you both enjoy.

This seems very generic, but I don't know much more about you or your wife.