Facing Co-sister

Honey02412 · Aug 2, 2016

Hi ladies......this is my first post over here...
Please Excuse me for not revealing my name
I am married for 9 years and have two kids,girl of 6 and boy of 4.
My husband used to be a job holder but now left his job and entered into my fil business..
Me and my husband used live in hyd,my in-laws used to visit frequently but there was no issues with them
But now I am living with my father in law mother in law and two co-sisters
One elder and 1 younger one.
The main issues with my elder sister.
I don't know what's wrong with me I always wanted everyone to be together, everyone to be Supportive with each other
She always avoid me . Even when she avoids me, i used to ask her because I don't want my relation to break.
Not just one day its been 2 years I came into joint family. as This is new place I don't know where to shop ,where to go ,even then she never call me out when she is going. She always goes with my younger one. But there is no problem with my younger one. she called everywhere she tries to tell me, to invite me but myelder one doesn't allow her to get close with me .as my responsibility I always even now I ask her everything even when I go out I called them asking if they want anything but every time the same issue its me who gets hurt every time. I know she talks bad about me with others she spreads rumours about me .I don't know how many days is going to continue I just want to live happy and I don't want all these disturbances in between I try to talk with her many times about this but never got a Reply can you help me how to deal with this. thank you so much

SimplelLife · Aug 2, 2016

Honey02412 said: ↑

Hi ladies......this is my first post over here...
Please Excuse me for not revealing my name
I am married for 9 years and have two kids,girl of 6 and boy of 4.
My husband used to be a job holder but now left his job and entered into my fil business..
Me and my husband used live in hyd,my in-laws used to visit frequently but there was no issues with them
But now I am living with my father in law mother in law and two co-sisters
One elder and 1 younger one.
The main issues with my elder sister.
I don't know what's wrong with me I always wanted everyone to be together, everyone to be Supportive with each other
She always avoid me . Even when she avoids me, i used to ask her because I don't want my relation to break.
Not just one day its been 2 years I came into joint family. as This is new place I don't know where to shop ,where to go ,even then she never call me out when she is going. She always goes with my younger one. But there is no problem with my younger one. she called everywhere she tries to tell me, to invite me but myelder one doesn't allow her to get close with me .as my responsibility I always even now I ask her everything even when I go out I called them asking if they want anything but every time the same issue its me who gets hurt every time. I know she talks bad about me with others she spreads rumours about me .I don't know how many days is going to continue I just want to live happy and I don't want all these disturbances in between I try to talk with her many times about this but never got a Reply can you help me how to deal with this. thank you so much
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I really apriciate your nature but it has a downside as well.. If you started giving too much value to other you yourself became an option so be careful and stop running behind her, more you will do so more she will be distant . So just stop that. Maintain your interaction as needed .. As she is doing .. You are try to be nice with her from past 2 yrs and everybody is seeing it so don't worry. And why do you expect her to ask you all the time, she is just your co sis and does nt accountable for you your younger co sis. If she does nt want your company don't give her priviledge instead make even batter relation with younger co sis and other women in nebourhood, try to go out alone .. You will get to know about markets .. Even you can ask at this forum about markets in hyd .i assume you behave very sweet but too much sweetness harm ourself first... Be polite but don't run behind her or anybody. And this is not your responsibility to asking her .. She is just a co sis .. As equal as you even if she is elder. Stay well and stop running behind anybody.

MalStrom · Aug 2, 2016

Stop running after her and just live your own life happily. Even if you are new to a place you can figure things out on your own. Why give her more real estate in your head than necessary?

charanya147 · Aug 2, 2016

Hi,
Hatsoff to your nature to love all..... Why can't you try to give her (or her kids) some gifts........ Gift her some eatables (you can win anyone through their stomach)..... Frequently ask her about her mother and family members...........but don't loose your integrity at any stage...... No two girls can be a good friends.(that too co-sister.) .. It's difficult to cut down indifference........but just try ur level best....... If you can't change her, don't bother too much..... Time will heal everything..... Try to be cool...

livingitup · Aug 2, 2016

Stop giving her so much 'bhaav', the more you bend down, the more likely she will ill-treat you. Live your life and be with people who respect you.

bron · Aug 13, 2016

Why are giving so much attention to her and why are you expecting attention from her too..dont go extra milage for someones attention ..just live life the easier way

Nia · Aug 15, 2016

@Honey02412 Sorry to be blunt, but why do you need her validation? you earn respect by showing respect. Your
co-sister doesn't acknowledge you, live as if you don't care. Don't waste your time on it. Stand tall, stand proud.

Iamagoodgirl · Aug 20, 2016

Some people think extra goody goody behavior is manipulative.
Give her some time.She may change her view about you and come around.

adrija · Aug 21, 2016

Hi,
Generally unknown comparison works between co-sisters..though they come from different back grounds.. Your co-sis might be having some kind comparison with you resulting in jealous...it could be anything like higher education, property, complexion, appreciation from in-laws...there are few things which are not under our control, can't be changed..you tried your best to develop relation.My advice would be avoid her, not to hang around her to get her attention in cool way. It would give her time to think about you. If people are not willing to change ,it's not possible at any cost...'It takes two hands to clap'...relations are maintained solely on 2 parties.It's possible only by positive change in a person with time..
Make sure that you get your support from DH in all means..that would help to keep yourself peaceful and happy...
And for shopping or suggestions there are lot many sources..Hope your co-sis would change her attitude with time..
All the best