Husband Chatting With Divorced Ex Colleague

^ That's fine. But its still a severe prediction and damning condemnation to predict that he will go have an Extra Marital Affair (or will strongly consider it). I think some folks are just plain insecure when it comes to guys having friends who are girls, and girls having friends who are guys. They vomit all over it and their brain goes warped (and they cannot get the sex angle out of it, even when that's not what's at play at all). That's a pity since their own insecurity is what they need to own up to, and get fixed, not their hubby's friendships.

Now, I don't know the OP's Hubby, which is why the OP is the best person to know if a H of 18 yrs is reliable or unreliable. If he is unreliable then she should warn him, but only she will know him.

 

@Jazmine83-
thanks for sharing your POV. My father was exactly the guy how you described your DH. Thank god he was like that.. because we have so many good family friends, even after him passing. So many friends help my mother.
My 2 cents- Married man being a friend is not the problem. I think the world expects a married man to behave in a ceratin way and if he isnt.. the society just wants to tag labels.

@anika987-After reading your POV.. Yes, I can see how 18 years of marriage can easily slip coz of the small attention anyone can get.
My 2 cents- I think OP should seriously consider Anika's advice. If Op is seriously feeling insecure.. she should truly go with her gut feeling. Because by the end of the day we are all faceless people online and suggestions and our POV do not affect our personal life as much as it does to her.

 

Not my words.

@Jazmine83 ...We don't know if the Op is a person who controls her husband's every move or uses love to control.
All I can base my opinion is that she has had 18 years of happy married life and that does not come from nagging and over suspicious behavior.Believe me....that kind of married life comes with a lot understanding .
If the OP is suddenly insecure and possessive ,then she must have some reasons enough to post and ask for help.

@Ragini25 I don't think the Op worrying about her long married life by this situation can be termed as teenagers fit.People who throw teenagers fit don't have considerably long happy married lives .
You and I are two very different people and our views rarely match......so why should it match in this situation too.
Cheers to difference of opinion.

 

Hi @Laks09

OP has been married for 18 years .

These two points caught my eyes before I posted.
She has never doubted him before and she can see a difference in his behavior this time.
That doesn't mean her fear is true ....but it does show she has reason for real concern.
A wife of 18 years deserves better than a non reactive response even if she threw a fit. She is not a child .
Besides people have mid life crisis at any stage in life. The best of men/women have been known to stray under circumstances they find difficult to resist. That only time can tell ....but what does the partner do in the mean time. Just wait and watch if the accident happens or does the partner give out a cry ,an appeal for sanity ,a warning of what is at risk. Something like the warning on the highway appealing you to drive safely because doing otherwise,your family risk losing you and vice versa .
Some can say why put up signs?The driver should know better otherwise he dies....Well,what good is it to the family of the dead driver.
The Op was just frantically showing him a sign.

Laks.....most normal people can differentiate networking from what the op is worried about.She says he is a successful person,she must have seen him networking with others too.

@ OP......Op I sincerely hope that what most of the posters are saying is true. That it is purely good old friendship and you should trust . But I do understand why you would feel the way you do.
Best Wishes and hope this just turns out to be false alarm.

Next time you want to convey a message to him...maybe you should sit down and have a calm talk to him about how this is effecting you. Maybe he will be more receptive to your concern .

 

Well I am sure, you are not helping her...at least do not demotivate.

 

18 years of marriage, your husband has kept himself as an open book to you, but your reaction is highly immature and childish. Your cry to emotionally block him will only add up frustration and stress to him (that you are doubting him) , and if you continue this way it will only result in developing a negative impression about you. You want him to understand your feelings and stop everything, have you tried to understand his feelings and what makes him so enthusiastic with this friendship ?

Better way is to be calm and show some interest in his new found friendship, go along with his new friendship adding some humor and sarcasm, and turn him along the way as needed. A lady with confident is always attractive for a man, you be such lady for your husband of 18 years, that is the solution for your problem as per me.

 

Dear contacting your Boss with mindset to remain updated with skills sets etc is nothing wrong....but dear here OP's concern is valid coz here her DH's ex-colleague is asking questions like 'Why you chose ur wife etc etc'
Have you ever asked such personal questions to your boss or ex-colleagues??? even if you or me would have ever asked personal question it would have been of their interest like...'How is ur wife doing? oh how were ur trip to so n so place etc....which is like questioning a couple of their interests and not like...judging on wht basis ur colleague whom u know from just few years or months that to at work wanna know why he chose xyz as his wife???'

 

I know. Sorry. I thought I wrote "I resented OPs implication...". genuine typo
No wonder its difficult for women/men who are divorced to socialize normally making it harder and harder for women in unhappy marriages to come out.
Thats my rant...not quite related to the post..but I was wondering if OP would have been less paranoid if the woman in question was married.