Requesting Opinions

Victory1, Like many have mentioned, it is a personal choice.

It is said, we have the first kid for ourselves and the second for the first. Having a second helps teaching both a lot of stuff that would be hard to teach in nuclear families. Like sharing , like fighting and making up, like not being the apple of the parent's eye all the time, like caring, like living with a person with a totally different personality. Money is tighter, but there are things that are very valuable and money cant buy.
There are siblings who grow up and become estranged. but blood is thicker than water. And the bond remains - despite the fights.

My personal experience is I share a lovely bond wth my brother even though we live thousands of miles apart. That connect is so special. As siblings we fought like hell, now I share those special memories with kids. I have two kids and when I see the sharing and caring between them admist the fights , my heart overflows. The bestest thing i have given/will ever give my kids, is each other.

 

OP..
Our parents comparatively had less money, 1 salary, no fancy stuff, but we all grew up fine. I agree that situations are different now and the expenses are high rocketing and the age factor is no where compared to our parents.

But atleast we are educated enough to make good choices and save for the future. There are soo many options now a days which our parents didn't have. They had one job or one business and less options to multi-task and generate money. we ouselves are addicted to electronic gadgets. soo, very soon kids this gen will talk more to gadgets than us. having a sibling will atleast minimize this effect.

 

If you have boy atleast there will be less emotional drama however the kid will feel bad.
one of my friend son is a single boy, when ever we come home boy feels so bad.
she couldnt due to a health problem.

 

Dear Op,

Victory1 your decision and thinking has absolutely no proper insight and you seem to be a person who has no realization about relationships.

As everyone said, a sibling is the best gift you can give your child. It is more important than money, education and what ever.

coming to society, yes we all say that we dont care what others say, but it cannot be true, we have to care sometime coz we live in this society.
You being a man dont really care the emotional aspects and so are the rest of men. You men talk abt politics, sports etc.
but women usually discuss abt kids and your kid also talks to friends. Its not just your wife but the kid him/herself will feel.They both will face and hear this from everyone around them. and they will repent whole life.

The best example My own sister has done like you was very stubborn and didnt listen to anyone. she said
she can give more love to 1 kid
she can give more money to 1 kid
focus on one kid education
financial easy etc.

today my niece turned 11 and the girl is suffering a lot. Even 2 pages wont be enought to say what my Niece is going through because of not having a sibling. She doesnt enjoy being home, or being on vacation, or being in family and my sister always have to call her friends, then her friends also say you dont have sibling.
My sister can afford going vacation but the problem is my niece doesnt enjoy any vacation saying she is alone. no matter how much my sister tried she cannot make the habit to my niece to stay alone. I have 2 kids, and my both kids love my niece and my niece tells all her friends that my kids are her siblings.
but they say "oh they are your cousins not siblings". One day my own kid said same to my niece and she was so upset. I told my sister that i will try to make my kids forever consider her like own sibling and treat niece as own sister. But she will always be called their cousin. My niece drags my kids to her family pics and then people say " they are cousins you take with your mom dad".
My niece shares lot of things with my kids and they sometimes tell me. My sister was shocked that no matter how much time sister spent, the kid doesnt share with her.

when social gatherings always people point out to my sister "you have only 1 kid, why you didnt plan 2nd". my sister tries not to bother coz it was her decision but i know she is feeling very bad.
all kids when time comes, tells my niece you stand other side , have to stand with my sibling.

well there are 4 more famillies where i have seen similar and kids get so upset for not having a sibling. one such friend planned a second kid when the first one was 8 yr old. the 8 yr old was so happy and said " something is better than nothing".

Few more worst consequences where the single teenage kids get more into friendships saying they are alone at home. they get distanced from parents and dont share with parents.

 

You may not care your wife saying she is emotional thinking about society. so leave about your wife.

But for your own kid sake you should plan 2nd child.

 

If everyone starts having two kids, there's going to be a severe resource crunch. We've got just one earth, people. Try not to overrun it.

 

I don't know about your financial situation but from family atmosphere perspective and your kid's psychology perspective having a second kid is beneficial. I have many friends with 1 kid and definitely the behavior of those kids is different compared to my kids. Single kids tend to be dominating and not adjusting with others as they are used being kings/queens in their own world. A sibling is the best gift your kid can get and they love it so much. My first daughter took more care of her sibling than what we could do.

 

Having a sibling is the best thing . There are few of my friends who are the only child and now they are envious of others having siblings. After marriage we cannot confide on our parents for everything and the greatest support comes from siblings. you can ask your child if he/ she wants a sibling because most people have second child only for the sake of their first child.

 

Dear OP,
I'm not here to give you an opinion about whether you should have one, two, three or more kids. I think that's an extremely personal decision of every couple based on personal choices and/or circumstances.
Whatever you both choose to decide, but please don't let anyone make you feel wrong about your choices as a couple based on your own individual and unique life-factors.

There are different advantages of having an only child as there are different advantages of having two or more children. And only children are as (in many cases more) wonderful, loving, caring and sensitive as kids with siblings might be. It is offending to all those families and only children to say they all are a particular way. That is so incorrect.

Of course, how a child/children turn out largely depends on home environment and upbringing more than being an only child or having siblings.

Just remember you both can't go wrong with either choice as long as you are good parents to one or both of your kids and provide a happy loving atmosphere at home where love thrives. Good luck to you and your wife in whatever you both decide.

 

OP....I have two daughters and they are the best of friends.They love each others company and are great together.
We also have some friends who have only one child.All these children seem as happy and balanced as children with siblings.
I have seen enough siblings who grow up to be extremely selfish and cause trouble for each other .Both sides of our families have siblings who do not even talk to each other because of one or the other issue.