How To Say No To Ivf(second Kid)

ILUser07 · Jun 14, 2016

I am a new mom of 8 months and conceived through IVF. My DH had low sperm count and often got depressed that he ruined my life. I decided to go through IVF as doctor said thats the only way as my DH started emotional blackmailing that he will end his life if there are no kids. He said I can remarry and live happily with kids if he dies.
IVF, as such is a pretty rough journey. Fortunately I got plenty eggs retrieved and good embryos. I conceived in the first transfer.
Now, my DH started saying we need another kid so that my son can enjoy the love of sibling. I totally agree and I want another kid too. I was only kid to my parents and always wanted 2 kids so they wont feel lonely.
Issue here is, my DH is not doing any kind of groundwork to improve his semen quality. I think he is taking for granted as we still have some embryos frozen. I dont know how to start this topic. It is too early to think of a second kid. But I know this is coming and I want to be prepared.
He is serious anger issues and if I raise this topic, he might blow the house.
I don't want to go through all those medicines, injections and all that again. I want second kid naturally. Or else adopt a child. But he will either shout or emotionally blackmail me to get things done. At the end, I am the one suffering. I don't even have family support as he convinced me to keep this a secret. None of our family or friends know that we underwent IVF. Could be because of his MALE reputation.

divyarnair · Jun 14, 2016

Ok, Do not take this in wrong sense and do not blame your husband. If you both want a second kid and you cant conceive naturally and you also have frozen embryos in store what is the problem in doing IVF ?
You have conceived in 1st attempt of transfer .Many people in this world are not that lucky. I would say , go for IVF . Embryo transfer is not a complicated procedure compared to egg retrieval .

JGVR · Jun 14, 2016

There are lot of foods which helps to increase the sperm count.Try to know about those foods and start including them in your husband's diet.Encourage your husband to go for walking and do workouts so that he keeps himself fit.Anyhow your first kid is 8 months only,wait till he turns 2.5 years atleast and then try for second one.

MalStrom · Jun 14, 2016

If you have frozen embryos why don't you transfer those first? You may get your second child and not have to go through a whole new round of IVF again. Frozen transfers are a breeze compared to a fresh cycle.
And sometimes a low sperm count is just that. All the diet, medications and lifestyle changes may not make a difference. Your husband should consult a urologist, but don't raise the issue beyond that.

beingloved · Jun 15, 2016

If you want to conceive naturally, then remember that all those methods had not worked for you in first place. You must had tried improving the semen quality before, isn't?

chanchitra · Jun 15, 2016

ILUser07 said: ↑

I am a new mom of 8 months and conceived through IVF. My DH had low sperm count and often got depressed that he ruined my life. I decided to go through IVF as doctor said thats the only way as my DH started emotional blackmailing that he will end his life if there are no kids. He said I can remarry and live happily with kids if he dies.
IVF, as such is a pretty rough journey. Fortunately I got plenty eggs retrieved and good embryos. I conceived in the first transfer.
Now, my DH started saying we need another kid so that my son can enjoy the love of sibling. I totally agree and I want another kid too. I was only kid to my parents and always wanted 2 kids so they wont feel lonely.
Issue here is, my DH is not doing any kind of groundwork to improve his semen quality. I think he is taking for granted as we still have some embryos frozen. I dont know how to start this topic. It is too early to think of a second kid. But I know this is coming and I want to be prepared.
He is serious anger issues and if I raise this topic, he might blow the house.
I don't want to go through all those medicines, injections and all that again. I want second kid naturally. Or else adopt a child. But he will either shout or emotionally blackmail me to get things done. At the end, I am the one suffering. I don't even have family support as he convinced me to keep this a secret. None of our family or friends know that we underwent IVF. Could be because of his MALE reputation.
Click to expand...

Has your husband done any treatment for his semen uality till now?

magician · Jun 15, 2016

ILUser07 said: ↑

I am a new mom of 8 months and conceived through IVF. My DH had low sperm count and often got depressed that he ruined my life. I decided to go through IVF as doctor said thats the only way as my DH started emotional blackmailing that he will end his life if there are no kids. He said I can remarry and live happily with kids if he dies.
IVF, as such is a pretty rough journey. Fortunately I got plenty eggs retrieved and good embryos. I conceived in the first transfer.
Now, my DH started saying we need another kid so that my son can enjoy the love of sibling. I totally agree and I want another kid too. I was only kid to my parents and always wanted 2 kids so they wont feel lonely.
Issue here is, my DH is not doing any kind of groundwork to improve his semen quality. I think he is taking for granted as we still have some embryos frozen. I dont know how to start this topic. It is too early to think of a second kid. But I know this is coming and I want to be prepared.
He is serious anger issues and if I raise this topic, he might blow the house.
I don't want to go through all those medicines, injections and all that again. I want second kid naturally. Or else adopt a child. But he will either shout or emotionally blackmail me to get things done. At the end, I am the one suffering. I don't even have family support as he convinced me to keep this a secret. None of our family or friends know that we underwent IVF. Could be because of his MALE reputation.
Click to expand...

Natural fertilisation over IVF should always be preferred. Because in its journey through the uterus, fallopian tubes, the spermatozoa encounters numerous obstacles. Say time, female antibodies, cilia. The one spermatozoa which finally merges with the ovum is the Grand Prix winner against a million wannabes.

So... given the choice, do you want the Grand Prix winner to provide half the DNA or some random one guy in a million who could/couldn't have made the finish line?

IVF is alright when you have limited options.

But quoting his anger issues and tendency of emotional manipulation, are you guys ready for being a family?