<HR> <TABLE width="100%" align=center><TD width="100%" bgColor=#e9e8de><TABLE width="100%"><TD width="100%" bgColor=white>Santa jokes • Santa proposing a girl: Darling kya tum mujse shadi karogi? Girl: Tameez se baat karo.. Santa: Behan ji, kya aap mujhse shaadi karoge? • Inspector to Santa: Faansi se pehle, bata teri aakhri ichha kya hai?Santa: Mere pair upar aur sier neeche kar k faansi de do! • Santa: I tried ur number so many times, it always said 'Switched Off'!' Banta: Nooo, it's my HELLO TUNE! • Beggar: Oh sundari, andha hoon, paanch rupya de de. Santa to his wife: De de, De de, tujhe sundari bola hai to har haal main ye andha hai. • Banta: Jab main paida hua tha to military walon ne 21 topein chalayeen thi. Santa: Kamaal hai ! Sab ka nishana chook gaya ? • Banta: Wo ladki deaf lagti hai. Main kuch kehta hoon, woh kuch aur hi bolti hai. Santa: Kaise? Banta: Maine kaha I Luv U, to woh boli 'Maine kal hi Naye Sandal kharide hain' • Santa to Jeeto: Kaisi sabzi banai hai, bilkul Gobar jaisa swad hai. Jeeto, maatha peet te hue: Hey bhagwan! Na jane inhone kya-kya kha ke dekha hua hai. • Q: What do you call a man who can't hear anything? Santa: Anything you want because he can't hear na!!! • Santa: Oye, ladki dekh, kitni sohni hai. Bata: Mujhe to uska naam bhi pata hai. Santa: Kya naam hai. Banta: Mein bank gaya tha, vahan yeh ek counter pe baithi thi, name plate pe likha tha: Chaalu Khata • Santa: What is the similarity between Bill Gates n Me? Banta: Don't know... Santa: Well... He never comes to my house & I never go 2 his! • Girl: Will you love me after marriage also? Santa: This depends on your husband, if he allows me. • Jeeto to Santa: Stop looking at girls, u r married now. Santa: U mean if I am on diet, I can't look at the menu also? • Banta: Meri biwi mujhe chhod ke chali gayi. Santa: Tu uska khyal nahi rakhta hoga. Banta: Arre yaar, Sagi behan ki tarah rakhta tha. • Santa: Qutub Minar kahan hai? Pappu: Pata nahi. Santa: Kabhi ghar se nikla karo. Pappu: Ram Lal kaun hai? Santa: Pata nahi. Pappu: Kabhi Ghar me bhi raha karo. • Santa talking on phone. Banta: Kis se baat kar rahe ho? Santa: Biwi se. Banta: Itne pyar se...? Santa: Tumhari hai. • Santa: I'd like some Vitamins for my son.. Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C ? Santa: Any will do as my son doesn't know the albhabets yet. • Gal: I think the poorest people are the haapiest. Banta: Then marry me and we'll be the happiest. • Santa: Is operation se mujhe kuchh ho gaya to isi doctor se shadi kar Lena... Jeeto: Aise kyo kah rahe ho? Santa: Doctor se badla Lene ka yehi 1 rasta hai! • Santa-Bus stand jane k kitne paise? Rikshawala: 10 Rs Santa: 2Rs mein chalega to theek hai Rikshawala: 2Rs mein kaun le k jayega? Santa: Peeche baith main lekar jata hoon. • Boss: I'm giving u driver's job. Starting salary Rs.. 3000, is it OK ? Santa: U R great sir! Starting salary is Ok but how much is DRIVING salary? • Banta: What do you call a wife who is beautiful, intelligent, understanding, caring, never jealous and a great cook? Santa: Niri Afwah !!! • Banta: Life ko kaun zyada achhaa bana sakti hai, Girlfriend ya Wife? Santa: WIFE. Bas, honi kisi aur ki chahiye! • Santa, Banta & Bobby were going on a motorcycle. Policeman gives hand to stop. Santa shouted: Oye pagal, pehle hi 3 bethe hain tu kahan baithega? • Jeeto: Doctor ne mujhe ek mahine ka aaram aur kisi Hill station par jaane ko kaha hai, hum kaha jayenge? Santa: Kisi Dusrey Doctor ke paas!!! • Santa bought a car on loan..... He didn't pay the dues, the bank took away his car. Santa: If I knew this, I'd have taken a loan for my marriage also! • Banta mujra dekhne gaya, sari raat mujra dekha. Bai ne kaha: Sahab humne aap ko khush kiya, ab aap hume khush karo. Banta utha or khud nachne laga.. • Banta was driving his car in a zigzag fashion on d road. Traffic inspector stopped him. Banta: I'm learning car driving. Inspector: Without d instructor? Banta: Correspondence Course!
