Heart or Head?

knot2share · Jan 19, 2010

Always listen to your heart - this is what I have heard many tell me. But I find it difficult to listen to that voice in me. Or maybe I do not know how to distinguish between my heart's voice to the other, voice from the head. Do some of you feel the same way? Let's say for instance we are planning to buy a house. I have heard people say that the minute they entered a particular house, they had this vibe and felt that was the house for them. I have never had that experience till now. Another instance that I can think of is with arranged marriages when the boy and the girl meet. Many of my friends have told me that the minute they saw the boy, they knew that he was the one for them. Something clicked and felt right inside them apparantly. Again, it never happened to me. Why is it so? Don't I have any feelings like others? Very rarely do feelings come out in the open in my case. But I still feel odd that I have not had similar experiences like many. My advice to my friends has always been to listen to your head. Do what your head tells you to do and not what your heart says. Quite opposite to many isn't it?

Heart always makes an emotional decision, if you ask me. A very typical example is for instance when people go on an auction to bid for a house. It is quite an emotional experience and one keeps bidding higher and higher because the heart says to go on and on and suddenly you realise that you have gone beyond your allocated budget in no time. And by then it might be a bit late to withdraw because you probably have won the bid.

What happens when one falls in love? The head actually goes for a toss in that case doesn't it? Why doesn't logical reasoning work in those instances? Why are we not able to convince ourselves with which is right and which is not right? Not just love, take anger for that matter. When we are angry, all we want to do is retaliate. Logic does not work in such instances. In fact when we are a victim of a strong emotion, it feels as though both the head and the heart seem to say the same thing or possibly the head does not exist at all. We find ourselves in a state where heart rules and everything else vanishes.

We always feel exhausted at the end of an emotional trip but never so when we use our head. When something that we desire does not come to us in its full form, we feel pain and anger. But using the head always keeps us grounded. There is no emotional attachment in any decision. The head brings us back into reality. It keeps us in check. We should know when to say STOP and that is when the head comes to the rescue. Maybe heart and head go hand in hand. One should listen to their heart but think with your head before you act upon it.

Is anybody with me here? What are your thoughts on this? Please share.

ayyan · Jan 19, 2010

Dear Shree, nice thought…mmmm…I thing both should act like counterparts, hearts minus points should be covered by the intelligent spikes from the head. Simply says when we are doing illogical acts under the stress of feelings, head should have the ability to control it before exceeding the limit. But life completes with those feelings too, don’t worry let it come…presidential rule take over only when things goes out of control…till then…with love..ayyan

knot2share · Jan 20, 2010

Thank you for the feedback Ayyan (possibly the only feedback here I guess...hahah). Both head and heart together makes the wise decision is what you say and I agree too with that.

manjulapathy · Jan 20, 2010

Dear Shree!
Nice blog!
Head tells you to go ahead with whatever you are doing and heart tells you not to when you take a wrong decision. In heart of hearts we know what we are doing is wrong, but when we are angry we dont want to listen to the heart and we go ahead with what the head says! After retaliation we feel completely justified of our actions.
All of us have Intutions.We claim so, especially when it works out right! We can say we knew it the minute it happend. Honestly tell me... how many times have your intutions gone wrong?
I am sure about one thing though! We use our head more than our heart when we are angry!!!
manjula

manchitra · Jan 21, 2010

I think rational thinking is necessary when ever taking decisions so that we don't regret later. But to be frank my heart has influenced me many a time. Like for instance when I met my hubby for the first time, I went by what my heart said, like you have mentioned in your post a decision I have never regretted.

greenplanet · Jan 21, 2010

[FONT=&quot]Hi K2S ,
I think good decision making is actually a dance between the head and heart. But we should realize that to make a good rational decision we need to use both sides of our brain, which we rarely do. Heart is the centre of our feelings and there will be instances which calls for a ‘gut feeling ‘ decision , while at other times we may need the head to come out with a more rational verdict. For most situations however a combination of head and heart might be the best way to go.

Good read.
GP
[/FONT]

knot2share · Jan 21, 2010

Hi Manjula/Manchitra and Greenplanet

I just posted a reply to Manjula and Manchitra and seem to have lost them and now I don't remember what I wrote. Hence addressing all of you together. Firstly thank you for the reply. It is interesting that Manjula has said something that is the exact opposite to what I have stated above and I find her views are valid too or maybe her views are more right. You are true Greenplanet. It has to be a combination of the two for the right decision. I think gut feelings or intuitions are seldom wrong and maybe I don't give too much thought to my gut feelings or maybe I am just not too sure right at this point. My idea was that head is always logical and gives us the right option. Chitra, what your heart told you when you saw your DH - yes many have told me that but it never happened to me. I do not regret what has happened but just feel missed out on that experience thats all. Thank you ladies.......appreciate your feedbacks.

Lrenuka · Jan 22, 2010

Very nice blog with the exact words written in the most appropriate manner. I think we should start with understanding which is head and which is heart. If it is the head which draws us back when we think emotionally, then what is the thing which stops us when we have to choose between two emotions? Something like in a complex situation when we have to decide if we have to feel happy or sad about something? If it is the heart which brings out two emotional issues, it must be the heart again which makes it complicated, if the head is a pure logical thing and has got nothing to do with the emotions.

My question is why there are two things to do the same work, think and re-think. Why doesn’t the head or the heart do the both? What is the role of the heart and why did even such a thing like heart come into existence? I think both the head and the heart are involved in our thought process, may it be emotional or practical. The head has got emotions too and it is the heart which makes it execute them in a righteous way.

The thought starts from the head and the decision too is taken by the head. The heart makes its presence felt by advising the head over the process. In the instants like when we feel like purchasing something, the want starts from the head, and the heart intervenes to say if it is actually a need. The head decides whether to take it into consideration. It varies from one person to the other based on how they decide to mould themselves. But they feel the presence of their heart constantly or otherwise, there will not be a feeling like guilt. The head is the originator and executor and the heart is just an advisor.

And in those instances like marriages, logic works only to a certain extent in choosing a partner but beyond that, the head cannot decide. This is where the heart attains prominence when a decision is mandatory. Before we go out on the purchase of a house or before we need to decide over a marriage, there is a state of uncertainty in our minds when we are just in the initial stages. The need is not yet clear and we think of deciding as and when the things roll out. That is the instant when very strong vibes are felt. The heart is working. The head takes a notice of this and thinks logically over it. This way, I have to come to the same conclusion as yours, head and heart go hand in hand, but only with the consent of the head. That is why they say we need to listen to our heart. It is our head which needs these instructions. Heart is an autonomous thing and much superior to our physical beings.

When it comes to your case, I think you are a very practical person which is why you do not strain your heart much. It is not that you never listen to your heart and you are certainly not a person without feelings. It is actually your heart which keeps you morally intact. Just give it much more work and you will start feeling the vibes like everyone else.

knot2share · Jan 22, 2010

Dear Renuka
I have to give it to you for putting it so well here. I possibly can not beat you to the length of the reply but honestly loved your way of analysing what the role of Head and Heart is. Head being the originator and executor and Heart being the adviser...I liked that! It makes things a bit more clearer to me now. Heart surely complicates the emotions in you at times. Good points to think about ......Appreciate you taking the time to explain.

Lrenuka · Jan 22, 2010

I have to thank you actually for if it's not your blog, I wouldn't have gone this deep into the issue. Looking forward to many such interesting blogs from you.