Getting angry

I do that sometimes when I am stressed out. I suggest you take a break and go for walks to ease out the stress. when you get angry , remember to move out of the place and calm yourselves .

Kids just want to have fun and we adults complicate lot of things!!!

 

Yes, you are not alone. I do this too and recently it has become nearly everyday. My toddler is 2 yrs old. Small things irritate me, like the sound of crying, spilling things or not putting things back in place.

When I wake up, I tell myself, today I will try to be calm. Some days are good, some are not. It seems like every day I have to make sure I dont get angry, I am always thinking of how to calm my self. I feel really guilty and ashamed.

I have started yoga, which I think has helped. I am also looking into hiring a babysitter for an hour a day, even though my toddler attends pre-school for half a day for 3 days a week.

My husband and I have also decided to call a babysitter over the weekend, so that we can spend some time alone outside the house. We just moved to a new city, so still trying to meet other parents or make new friends.

The strange thing is , I never had a temper before I got pregnant and after the baby my mood has taken a 360 turn, I am a completely different person, in terms of getting angry. I wish for my daughters sake she could have seen the calm me, instead all she sees is my irritated, angry and upset face.

Cooks.

 

you are not alone my dear, I am mom of two...my elder one was kind of calm and independent but younger one is just opposite... but the real reason is my thyroid and PCOS were diagnosed at the time of second...Also I was 30 for second's parenting... I would go mad at every silly thing... I still need to be calmer but much better with walk, positive attitude towards life and thyroid, PCOS medication...

 

The best way to calm down yourself is stop expecting too much out of yrself, spouse and kids. Stop comparing with others life and their kids with yours. Don't get overwhelmed by messy house, dirty linen and overflowing kitchen sink. If all these stop bothering you, you will never again shout at yr LO.
I put a quote in bold prints on my kitchen wall "Without my children my house would be quiet and clean, my wallet will be full but my heart will be empty".
You can put something similar where ever you feel you get angry often (kids room, living room or bathroom, for me its kitchen ) and as soon as yr eyes land on that you will be all lovey over them again.

 

oh dear what can i suggest you..i myself need suggestions.
i m so good and calm person but when it comes to perfection i really get irritated for that on my DD
i get wild and say all what comes in my mouth and react very strictly for making her obedient and perfect.
i feel so bad after wards but what is the use of it then. i tell myself many times not to repeat it but to my surpise i land in same problem everytime. sometimes i convince myself that she is small and have time to learn all that..but someitmes my other mind says that if not taught now she will never learn again...what to do??

 

There is no contradiction between teaching children something and remaining calm.
Things can be taught a multitude of ways and some are more effective than others.
Think of it from this perspective for a minute : If the "teaching" consists of angry (perhaps shouting) berating and monologues, it might impress the child (although most likely in a negative way) but over the time the child will become accustomed to it and essentially you will only teach the child to perfect the art of looking attentively while having what is said go into one ear and out the other.
There is a time and place for all behaviour and there definitely is one for becoming angry and berating and lecturing and strict punishments children. But it probably is more appropriate in situations where the child has placed itsself and/or others in danger. If the adults already (overre) act on daily problems then how can they will they react in these situations without the anger losing its effect? the child perhaps will already be desensitised because it has become used to such reactions.

So in daily situations, it might be better to not take things the child does personally and instead look at them as problems that can be solved together. you can even ask the child, oh this is spilled, what can we do? how we can avoid this?

i find when i get angry in daily situations, it has more to do with me then what actually happened. so I try to reflect and find out exactly why it is I am feeling this way. writing a dairy does help me as well.

 

Op,
Ya i too sail on the same boat..My DS is 4.8 years old..The situation gets worse when he is on long leave..He likes to be occupied 24X7..which annoys me more..once he wakes up..immediately the house gets messy..calling me once every 2 minutes for some reason.. playing with gadgets the whole day..tv remains on.. whether he watches it or not..sad part is the same series of cartoon again and again..he keeps running around when I clean up the house..it goes on..end of the day when I see him sleeping on the bed,I smile and sometimes I feel bad about myself being so harsh on him for that one silly reason..When the school reopens I know am going to miss him at home.