Is this Right or Wrong

Dear OP,

When my DH gets fever, he doesn't have much appetite for food but he would behave like a baby and needs someone to care for him always. So, he is the king of the day, gets served and looked after around the clock. I normally would take leave and look after him. But my DH is not cranky...he just wants attention from his wife. The food part....I would ask my DH what he wishes to eat and cook accordingly. Perhaps, you should have asked him, what he wants to eat ...that could have saved the quarrel. But, still....he shouldn't have behaved in such manner....fever or no fever. He is not a baby for god sake!

Pity your mom. She has to see her DD get shouted at and cook at late hours. Your DH could have been a little considerate since you have been looking after him . I mean, asking for Dhal Sambar and putting a tantrum? Honestly, he should apologise to your mom for disrespecting her. She cooked his food and yet he refused to eat it?

OP, if he doesn't want to eat, let him be. Don't argue, you and your mom enjoy the meal and you can save the next day cooking too with the left over dhal. Just heat up the dhal. And next time, don't argue with him by threatening to boycott the birthdays, you sound a bit childish and I think that makes him resent your attitude even more.

Lastly, its funny how when an Indian man gets angry with his wife, he chases her out from their bedroom and sleeps alone comfortably in the room. Shouldn't he be the one to sleep in the couch like how they show in the movies?

 

Dear OP,
Some men have very strong preferences for food, am talking from my experience, and they would never relent. I was like you long back, even I have put up fights claiming the pain I took to cook what I did! And, everything, looking after his needs, cooking food even when I was unwell everything went into the drain because of the fight. And slowly I learned the lesson. From then I have cooked only according to his preference for him. So, I think your husband is a person who doesnt accept what he does not like at all; no emotional blackmail/ arguements would work with him. And, slowly learn to make peace with this character of his, do not fight or pull in other issues into it.

 

deleted....

 

Dear YM,

He told her, don't sleep with me tonight. I know it is irrelevant to the thread. But it amuses me as I would ask my DH to get the couch and shut the bedroom door when we quarrel. But in OP's case, her hubby told her to sleep elsewhere since he was fuming with anger. The poor thing slept with her mother. Imagine what her mother would be thinking. Hmmmm.... childish son in law? or my poor child? Anyway, I felt OP's DH could have behaved in a little civilised manner at least in front of his aged MIL.

Noted : YM deleted her post.

 

Because he is NOT an American.
You should have gone ahead and married an "American" if you wanted one, instead of marrying an "Indian".

 

I feel both of u were wrong....although ur husband was sick but he acted very childish....and u too culd have provided him sambhar rice considerinh his sickness instead of fighting wth him...u spent ur energy in fighting wth him instead of preparing wht he is asking...
again he behaved very childish when he didnt eat eveb tht was prepared by ur mom....ur mom didnt fight wth him...but probablt u fought on past issues as well so tht made hin angry...
may be u can ask sorry for the fight happened and politely told him tht its not right to eat the food whn ur mom has prepared it....he has all right to show anger on u but not to ur mom....

 

Dear Ragini,

I certainly didn't marry an American but my DH knows how to behave when my parents are around. He made sure they are treated like royalty . I will do the cooking part and my mom would just relax and have fun with her grandson. The last time my mom visited, she had a wonderful relaxation. We most certainly don't quarrel in front of them. Everything is done behind closed door.

See, we don't have to be westernised to be civilised. Its just some common sense and respect to our elders.

 

He just have some cold and cough, and he shouldnt be acting like a baby, especially with an infant at home. You should focus more on your baby now. Also dont argue more with him. Let him take time to recover from cold. I felt sorry for your mom.

 

I deleted my post because I misread and misunderstood OP's original post.:hide:

I agree with other posters.He behaved badly with op's mom by not eating the food she made specially on request and owes her an apology or explanation.

 

i really feel bad for your mother...
rest you got all the best advises. Had your hubby had been normal i would have suggested something. but as he is sick and not keeping well since few days it is nothign but just plain weak mind during sickness that he is acting like a child. but i will also suggest you to keep calm and let him recover and he himself will realise his mistake (keep fingers crossed).
regarding left over i thing that waste is better that spoiling relations.. always give priority to person then things , now here i dont mean you waste food but just during his sickness period you avoid giving importance to food.
relax everything will fall in place give time. THIS WILL PASS TOO surrendersmiley