Friends Plz help me.

You think filing such serious cases against someone and his family is a joke!
Do you know the punishment for these.And then you say you love him.What a joke.

People who abuse such laws not only abuse the victims but also all those women who need this law.

Advice to you is to take to realize the gravity of the situation and accept what has happened. Don't live in a dream about getting back and staying married to him. That will not happen....not when you even got his innocent parents involved in such a serious police case.

Accept your fault and accept the consequences. Take this as life lesson .
Take some anger management therapy.May be you could convince the court about your sincerity in trying to be a better person.


Try to get your parents to talk to his parents. Try to convince him to drop perjury case.
As for the 'divorced' tag....it is much better that the 'criminal' tag you tried to put on him.

 

Write him an apologise mail, if he is not ready to talk. Words spoken can never be back, i feel sorry for you. We shouldnt make any decisions in anger( keep that in mind for future). Anyways talk to him calmly, convince your MIL, tell them it just happened at the spur of the moment, you respect them. I understand teh situation is tough. We can just understand cant feel you right now, have faith in god, if he doesnt forgive, let it go, you have no choice..You did your part..God bless you.

 

OP- I feel for you because you are a victim of your own rash and inconsiderate behavior. You just cut your nose to spite your face.

You sound immature and spoilt. You say your husband changed after marriage but perhaps he just got tired "pampering" you all the time. Marriage is about two people loving and respecting each other but your expectation were to be pampered and treated as a princess but that routine gets old quickly with anyone except parents who perhaps are the only ones that tolerate that the longest.

You husband was completely wrong to slap you. However, you IL's stood by you then as they should and even made your husband apologize. Your husband came to get you back. Even with all this, instead of calling a truce, you made complete mockery of the laws that are there to protect helpless women and perjured yourself. You broke laws and made the innocents- your IL's and your husband lose their dignity with your lies. I don't know if they can forgive you or if you can fix your marriage. It surely will take a miracle for that to happen.

OP you did not make a stupid mistake. You willfully played with other people's lives to feed your ego not mention commit a crime. You are only sorry because you are in bigger trouble with law and fear losing your husband and marriage.

Your husband has realized that you are a dangerous person and rightly wants to keep his distance. Take this as a lesson to have bit more control of your emotions and go for some anger management. One thing about being an adult is taking responsibility for your actions. Your actions landed you in this mess. If you want better outcomes, learn to act accordingly.

 

I understand you where very much hurt and upset when he slapped you, I too understand you left the place and needed some time and space, but you should have used them to get a clear mind. It seems a bit like you both been trapped in a spiral downwards and non of you knew a way to get out of there, when one did a thing the other reacted even worse and so on...Its sad how this went, very sad.

Please understand what you did and read Yellowmangos post very carefully. Such cases are a very serious issue and there to protect innocent victims who suffer unimaginable pains. If these law is missused like you say you did ladies will be in future labelled as liers and making up things to hit back and being immature.
Now its done and gone, we can discuss all day long what one should have done or not.. its too late.
In my opinion you need to do following things, and im sorry im not a laywer for legal things please listen to your laywer.

Go to a good councellor, speak to her/him about anger management and try to discover the reasons why these outbursts happen to avoid such situations in future. Please talk to him too about the stress you are going now through as this is a tough time for you, even you did mistakes, now after you repent i feel you might need support - emotional and legal support - to get out of this mess. Try to not act in the heat of the moment in future and learn some techniques to calm down before you act.
You can consider writing together with your laywer an official letter of excuse. Send one copy to your husband, one to his parents and one to court. It should contain appologies to all hurt persons. If you mean it by heart it might give you a little reliefe from what you did and will help your healing process, it will too help to make a good impression in court and show that you are willing to change. Especially when they feel you mean it.

Please do not expect you husband to come back. Too much happend.... I dont feel that it is possible to fix your marriage. I hope you parents support you. Dont be afraid to be a divorcee and please dont do any further mistakes you will regret, thinks can still get worse if you push it too far so be carefull please.

 

Completely agree with yellowmango and sdiva. OP -All I am thinking now, what were your parents doing about all this? How did they let you go ahead with filing that case in the first place,when they know very well know its not the truth? If they were supporting your decision, then none of you have ethics and conscience, or it could be that you did not listen to them, shows your immature,hasty nature and dug your own grave. Truth prevails and your husband won, but what if it wasn't the case? he would be humiliated for no reason along with his innocent parents.
Playing with law has its repercussions...it doesn't look like things will get solved that easily, first retrospect and learn to accept what you will be facing now, be strong and be prepared.

I would say Divorce is the better option for you both as living together again is not a possibility with such a past. Don't be desperate in convincing him, sometimes silence can work in your favor. Sounding desperate can convey the wrong (actually right) message that you haven't understood the depth of your actions and just want to get out of it somehow. Give it sometime...you have not just messed with family but the LAW...all you can do is just Pray

 

Taking a man and his parents to Police and Court by filing false complaints against them is in deed an act of CRUELTY. It can do a damage which can not be repaired later.

I think, in your case also , the damage done can not be undone. Any man in your husband's position would do the same , which he is doing now.

 

Hi,
men donot forgive easily. They just move away.
do not commit anything in email if you say that its all your fault in email then he can use it as a proof against you. If possible talk to his parents, say sorry and see how things go . If that option is cut out then if you both have common relatives then ask them to convince ur inlaws . I woukd say choose the right person as a mediator. I feel that you might also been frustrated and kept cases aginst inlaws. Past is past . If nothing works out least you can do is get out of marriage peacefully with out fighting eith your husband.

 

Yours is love marriage. So, he knew about your short tempered nature before marriage. But raising his hand on you(that too in front of a third person) is a bad start. If you would have stayed calm, he wouldn't have thought next time before raising his hand. In that aspect, you did a good thing by showing him that raising hand is not tolerable. But I feel that he should have tried to contact you after you badmouthing.. What he did(raising hand) was not fair and what you did was a reaction(bad mouthing). A person in love can understand the hurt in lover's eyes. This means that his ego was more than love towards you.
Now, coming to part-2 of police case. Imagine yourself in his position. If your spouse would have filed a case against you and police locked you(and your family) up, what would be your state then? His pampering spoiled you the core and you couldn't realize that life is not the same all the time. But unfortunately, once a situation reaches police\court level, the relationship can never be same even if you get together.
You are not 100% wrong(until filing police case). Try to see if you have any good contacts of lawyers/police and ask them suggestions on how to pacify this case. Often raising hand is not taken seriously. I think women should do that to men to show how it feels.