Should you merge finances for a happy married life?

We keep joint acct from very start of married life. we hardly had much income in the beginning to keep separate acct and both made about the same then. Then over the years as career progressed DH makes almost 4 times what I make but then also spend way more than me. so it was not practical for each to contribute to one household acct and then keep separate acct for other use etc. I would be on losing end always!

So we continue to keep one joint acct where both salary come into which I manage to pay all bills but then he withdraws after talking to me from that when appropriate to fund different investments like college fund for kids, investments, retirement planning which are all on joint names as well. he is savvy at that sort long term planning and investing and I just manage monthly items so it works for us.

 

Its better to pool in the money together...Sit and disucss with your DH and Plan. Plan on your Future having short and Long term goals(Like in 3 years we should have a property worth so much, we should have BB, We should have a abroad vacation).

Make sure you decide on the contributions you would make from your pockets for achieving the goals apart from the day to day and personal expenditures.

 

Because I don't believe in discussing every small decision . We keep each other informed specially things which are related to our side of relatives . We trust each other enough to do things first and tell later if it happens or if there is a need .


Agree it is different family dynamics .

 

Ditto- we added each other to our accounts and salaries come to seperate accounts too. Oh the nightmare of changing direct deposits.

 

We have separate account for our salary but use only one account/salary for expenses. Normally we try to manage with my DH salary to pay all the bills and expenses but if we have extra expense like flight tickets etc then we use my account/salary. for my daily expense, I use CC (bill is paid by DH's account) and take cash from DH. I must mention, me and DH discuss every single expense/gift/any thing related to our family with each other before making any decision (gifts to either side of family). We both know each others banking password so that whenever we need , can use .

I belive, separate/joint account doesn't matter if you have good understanding and discuss all matters without making any decision.

 

Looks like you have a great understanding with your H. That is all that matters. Whatever works....

 

When I got married, I wasn't working and we had a joined account where I log in once in a blue moon. When I want cash, I take it from his valet or I use the credit card and he pay.

When I started working my salary was going to the same account. Again I check once in blue moon . My DH will let me know if my salary is credited or not. Then one day when opened and checked I noticed our balance hasn't fattened any better even after I started working.

Then , I opened another account in my name and my salary aka peanuts goes there. When I opened that account I declared my DH that, first check will be written for our daughter's college, second will be for our son's college and third will be for our retirement.

Since life doesn't go as we plan, I made the first check ( /transferred) some money to our joint account when my DH lost his job.

When he found a new job, he asked me to open an emergency account in my name and now we monthly transfer a small amount from joint a/c to that emergency a/c which will be used for emergencies like this.( vacation does not come under emergency, I tried, he said NO )

Neither me nor my DH has any issue me taking ( note:- taking not asking, of course I inform ) money from his wallet ( too lazy to go the ATM while one is at home itself ). It works perfect for us.

 

Life is so not fair. Vacation does not come under emergency?

 

When we work really really hard, vacation does come under emergency. But DH has different opinion and since life isn't fair, I had to listen to him