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Should we live in poverty ourselves?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by sweetestshweta, Oct 26, 2014.

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  1. Oct 28, 2014 #31
    sweetestshweta

    sweetestshweta Gold IL'ite

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    Actually,the whole issue was screwed up in the very beginning.When she lost her H,everyone was high on emotions and so,no one thought about long term consequences.MIL had a major role and she made sure that no one asks SIL to work and secondly,running her household becomes sole responsibility of sons.
    She never lets her sons come out of guilt trap..
     
    sweetestshweta, Oct 28, 2014
    sweetestshweta, Oct 28, 2014
    #31
  2. Oct 28, 2014 #32
    sweetestshweta

    sweetestshweta Gold IL'ite

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    Nice strategies dear..Will definitely try them..
    Thanks
     
    sweetestshweta, Oct 28, 2014
    sweetestshweta, Oct 28, 2014
    #32
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  3. Oct 28, 2014 #33
    sweetestshweta

    sweetestshweta Gold IL'ite

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    The cry about price rise and inflation is same as my MIL/SIL do..As if,prices only went up for them and not for us..
    I hope my H too starts standing up like yours..
    Thanks dear
     
    sweetestshweta, Oct 28, 2014
    sweetestshweta, Oct 28, 2014
    #33
  4. Oct 28, 2014 #34
    sweetestshweta

    sweetestshweta Gold IL'ite

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    You are right dear.We are seriously trying now and will do something substantial now as I am again earning..And I already know,whole paternal property from H's side is going to SIL and her kids anyways..
     
    sweetestshweta, Oct 28, 2014
    sweetestshweta, Oct 28, 2014
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  5. Oct 28, 2014 #35
    1Sandhya

    1Sandhya Platinum IL'ite

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    shweta dear,

    you have to put single minded focus and get this financial planning done. There will always be something going on. Your h too will nod his head when ever you insist and then forget. You have to make this happen. You are the one who is getting bothered by it so you do something about it. Right now the situation is that your double income is like a giant endless pot of disposable money, so even if you say no, it is like you are being mean or stingy for no reason. You have to change this situation- turn the pot into a much smaller budget sufficient only to cover the daily and monthly expenses within reason. Rest should be tied up in an investment for dd or unbreakable for 10 year fds.

    You have to take the initiative to create this situation asap. This should be your main goal now. You should have a single minded focus to put all in place and rest easy only after it is done. Take your father's help and advise in this matter. You have control over your income right? Start with that, tie up the bulk portion and leave barely enough for your personal expenses. Let your h income run the house(s). He will soon start saying 'no can do' on his own. You can also start modeling good behavior by telling them that you are saving up for this or that big purchase.
     
    1Sandhya, Oct 28, 2014
    1Sandhya, Oct 28, 2014
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  6. Oct 28, 2014 #36
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Shweta,

    I recall a thread about working women and in-laws who don't work. Now, I get what you were trying to say there.

    I don't have anything new to suggest in this thread after so many thoughtful posts. I do want to say - it is one thing that SIL just sits and all her and her kids' expenses are born by brothers and bhabhis, and that MIL is so demanding. What really pinched me was you having to hide any small luxuries or conveniences you get for yourself. When you live with someone, you cannot hide everything. Deciding not to buy an item because you imagine having to buy it for MIL and SIL is simply so sad.

    I hope things improve slowly for you.
     
    Rihana, Oct 28, 2014
    Rihana, Oct 28, 2014
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  7. Oct 28, 2014 #37
    persecutedDIL

    persecutedDIL Gold IL'ite

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    Yes, shouldering responsibilities is one thing but encountering the very 'greed and avarice' incarnate day in and day out is the challenge of the life. If one has to face so many challenges in day to day living, life would become as tedious and the desire to live would wane. I have lost the desire to live because of certain in-law issues very similar though, if you replace 'materialistic greed' with 'emotional greed' and 'information greed' which my FIL and MIL suffer from.
    The difference is I don't have to stay with them as of now. I'd again suggest, yes, just stay in abject poverty for the next one year and invest invest invest. Don't buy anything for yourself - do this sacrifice. When SIL/MIL ask, tell them - humne bhi kuchh nahi liya, paise jo nahi hain.
     
    Last edited: Oct 28, 2014
    persecutedDIL, Oct 28, 2014
    persecutedDIL, Oct 28, 2014
    #37
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