Do all indian men hit and verbally abuse their wives?

Indian here...and lived in India all my life.
I have never seen this in anyone ever.I do believe it happens and happen quite a bit but more an exception than a rule .The kind of abuse the Op has written either gets you in jail or ends up in murder charge.

 

No caring man would behave like this. You are blinded by love. I doubt if it exists on the other side. Time to retrospect.

Indian men are genuine. But yes, a few behaves like this. This is not a typical Indian behavior but an "arrogant" behavior. Never waste a second.

IMO, I would rather live alone than to deal with this abuse. You have a life, go get one.

 

Dear Minion,

I am not here to debate but May I ask you where did you get this larger picture..in IL?
Then I am sorry, you are absolutely wrong. Since you are not indian citizen, I am not sure how many friends you have are Indians..most likely they all must have very educated and you might be getting these information from some news site. I am born and brought up in India, who has seen all kind of life (started from a village where 90% are uneducated, to a small town to metro city and then in USA. have met all kind of people (you will not believe I still have some of my close relatives who doesn't know 'ABC' and very poor). I never heard hitting/beating is common. My meeting is not a formal. my best friend (my cousin) is still in village and doesn't know how to read English. Just to add here, I belong from a region which most of the people considered backward, still not a developing area..so this is real picture. Sitting thousands mile away and just referring something based on so call Internet data is not a right thing.

 

Yellow mango you are right!
I was about to write about that....Unfortunately some women like these kind of
personalities.I recently saw a show about criminals in investigation discovery .

 

Common ladies, are we seriously discussing wether its common in India to nearly kill ones girl friend to find out wether it can be considerd as normal?? I understood everyones point and theres a glimpse of truth to all of them but this justifying it might be normal by statistics discussion is not gonna help the OP at all.

If such statistics are right (and i dont question there is a safety problem and a violence against women problem too) they count for several other countries as well, specially the domestic violence stats are pritty bad for several countries.... Plus if we really discuss patriarchic cultures / societies the list will be huge..... which country is really living equality? guess that list is shorter.... Still, again.. it doesnt help OP...

Even if we say its normal and average of men does it... what if the average of people get tattoot in the face*, cut off limps as its fashion, takes drugs, jumps off the next bridge????? Would a mental healthy person with the ability of judgement and an own settled feeling of morality and what is right or wrong do it just cause others do it? Is a number really having anything to do with the real question here???? Why is the OP allowing this man to abuse her!?!

*I dont judge about people with tattoos in the face or anywhere else (im having one myself) i actually dont care what others do with their body i just wanted to point out that i wouldnt do it cause others / majority does it.

Edit: wanted to add one important point: it has nothing to do with nationality / religion / shoe size / haircut / age / culture etc. BECAUSE his behavior isnt shaped by society as he seems to be having deeper issues = mental health problems. Those are not connected to anything like culture, society etc. We are not discussing a man who takes his gf for granted and thinks she is cook and maid in one we are discussing a man who is CHOKING a woman! Even there is a family such things exist it is not connected to the society they belong and they have a sick family system which requires interference specially in the case children are involved.......

 

no she is not... i guess she is doing so because she tries to find a glimpse of normality to hold on like a blade of grass in a rapid stream because drawning seems less frightening if you beliefe others face the same... that is more justifying his and normalising her behavior.. plus the im not allone with this.... which is so sad i cant put in words.. im really scared and shocked that OP is going through this...

But you are generally right, in anger generalisations are made, i just wish OP would show the proper anger a person is allowed and even supposed to have in such a situation!

 

Unfortunately India is a place where women, from time of conception are
1. Aborted
2. Killed when infants
3. Sexually harassed or abused
4. Pressured to marry someone they don't like, or if they do like someone, made to feel guilty for being happy about getting marriad


Males are treated like kings since day one.

My husband was abusive, both emotionally and physically. He even told his mother he wanted to hit me so hard that I stay in a corner, crying for a few days, and his mother agreed. He told his married Gf wanted to divorce me after his citizenship is secure. The stress caused me to miscarry. After the miscarriage when he assaulted me I called the police. I was very scared, but I called the police, and my mother took that scumbag's side.

Now he is sending me messages that he loves me and keeps saying over and over I filed a false police report.

Unfortunately, a significant number of Indian men are like this ---- and a significant number of Indian women (mothers, mother-in-laws, girlfriends from affairs, next door neighbors, clueless ID10t5, etc) think this is acceptable behavior and the victim is at fault.

Don't get me wrong, even after I legally get rid of this scum bag, I will still give Indian men a chance, I'll just be a million times more careful ... Even my elderly Father from olden golden Indian generation says as soon as Husband hits you, marriage is over, no if, ands, or buts (maybe because of my Father's sincere love I am willing to give Indian men a second chance, but use more wisdom).

Seriously, God will give you someone 10 times better, someone more loving, caring, good-looking, resourceful, and worships you (and anything else you desire from perfect Husband)

 

are you still thinking about moving to chennai?