Is this marriage worth it!

I don't know how educated women like you can walk into such marriage.Educated only child.Then why??Where is the self respect?Please listen to your father.He didn't work so hard all his life to have a worthless ,shameless greedy jerk mooch his life's earning from him.If not for yourself...at least for your parents future...dump this guy.

 

It is not Worth anything. You are not in a real marriage, you are "used" Just to
transfer your parents earning to this selfish so called husband's account.

Save your Dad's wealth and health by divorcing this creature!

 

Changing job around marriage time in itself doesnt signify anything. It could be a coincidence. Lots of young men do it becos they are still figuring out what they want to do around that age; they are young, could be about to marry or just got married so I dont see why OP should have taken that as a warning sign. In and of itself it means nothing. but yes, when resigning is followed up with no initiative to find another job, and constant complaining about dowry, it is a cause for concern. OP if you have decided to leave him, pls take precautions and make sure you do not conceive now. That will really complicate matters.

 

Short, Simple & Actionable Advice
Follow your dad's decision. Try to avoid arguments and further involvement. Try getting back whatever you can and end the relationship ASAP. Sooner you exit, the better otherwise there might be much worse in store for you.

 

Taken it itself, changing job is not a red flag. But leaving a job just because one "does not like it" without having a better one on hand is a significant issue. Most mature people hold on to a job even if they don't like it until a better one comes along because everyone has bills especially one that is about to get married. So yes big red flag. If one has not even figured out career prospects, then one should not contemplate marriage.

Moreover, looks like some commonly understood things were already agreed upon which should have been the first red flag. Since the OP was coy about it, I am guessing it is dowry she is referring. She also mentions that her parents were expected to pay for wedding. When someone cannot pitch in but expects others to foot their bills - it is a big warning sign.

In and of itself anything could have an innocuous explanation but life decisions should not be made so cavalierly if one hopes to be happy.

OP- it is not your dad's or PIL's decision to carry on or end the marriage. It should be yours and your husbands.

 

OP, not worth it.

 

OP,

Just dump this guy and do yourself and your parents a great favor.

 

This guy is just after your dad's money he has clearly mentioned it. Call it quits. With elders pressure and all he may pretend that he has changed but actually he will never change. You have your dad's support what more do you want. End it ASAP.

 

Hi Leona,

This marriage is not worth at all. Even if elders of both the families sit together and discuss on this, do you think things will improve? What will happen is, later, you will find your husband turning really bad at you and even a small quibble would turn up in a huge brawl with him firing shots on your family over dowry.

Also, practice of asking dowry, is, by law, a punishable offense under THE DOWRY PROHIBITION ACT, 1961. (Act No. 28 of 1961) and taking or giving of dowry in any form can be challenged in an open court of Law.
Please make your husband understand, if he continues pushing you for dowry, time is not far when he will see himself along with his parents behind bars.
So, before utter such a thing, he should give it a second thought.

So, anyways, there's nothing much left in this marriage and you can consider it to be a split. Dragging it any further will only ruin relationships. Life is giving you a chance to consider your escape, cash it. Also, I believe, since your father has somewhere made up his mind to end the marriage, I don't think so he would like to give it a second chance, no father would for his princess.

So, think and decide wisely. Communicate it to your parents and let the elders have the discussion and decide your destiny.

 

Along with most other posters, I wholeheartedly agree it is not worth it, OP

You're lovely, you're young, you've been working hard, you have the capacity to be independent and you all have tried to appease your inlaws/husband. You've given it a good 2 years of effort and if he hasn't been able to appreciate you nor even step up to take care of you then why stick it out? What is going to change? Nothing. Even if you oblige to his every wish and whim, he will never be satisfied. This man can't even gift you or surprise you or show you genuine depth of emotions even when you're being intimate. Why? Because he has a chip on his shoulder and feels a sense of entitlement without actually appreciating what he has or realizing what he should work hard to get.

Not only that, but he's going to consider himself to be the infallible one no matter what (the story you shared about having tried to have kids, getting you tested, but not following up with himself? Yeah. That sort of thing is a deal breaker for a relationship)

Quite frankly, I personally can't imagine this man as a father, either. God forbid the kind of influence that sort of behavior would make on the kids. Consider it a blessing in disguise that you have not been successful in having kids with this man. It's as if the universe decided "Nope nope nope. Quota for morons like this is already way over. You'll thank me later."

Hope this helps and that you will be able to find closure to move on without too much further drama.