SIL wedding gift - what to give?

According to your past experiences with SIL, I don't think she deserves a 1 lakh gift..Mayb u can gift small jewellery items like pair of gold earrings/Pendant/nose rings/finger ring...Which has attractive design, lightweight & not too expensive. Am unaware of gold rates there, but I dont think it's worth spending more than 25000 INR or max. 35000 INR on the gift...Also I think she's being a little nice to u so that she can ask u for help later on as she's also settling in the U.S.

 

Marriage is the most memorial movement in one's life....! I think it is good to present either some gold / silver ornaments....! Because one can preserve this or can cherish the movement....!

 

My opinion may be in a minority here, but hey, this is your husband's sister that's getting married, not some random relative! Irrespective of the relationship you shre with your inlaws, the gift will at the end of the day be from your SIL's brother, i.e., your husband (never mind that you are the one choosing and buying the gift). If you can afford it, then do get her a nice gold necklace--something that she can keep as a gift from her brother and bhabhi for her wedding.

 

Tulipzz, where I come from, Rs.1L is big money for a single piece of jewelry and I would never think of spending that much on myself or anyone else (on jewelry that is). Do you think she will be using it frequently if she is going to be in the US after the wedding?

Moreover, does your SIL appreciate jewelry?

I have read your earlier posts, and I think you better keep taking those BABY steps. It is alright to think that they might be changing for the good, but are they behaving this way so that SIL's IL family does not come to know of the problems in your family (issues between you and MIL/SIL)? I would be very cautious. Like a PP rightly pointed out, you will have a zillion must-dos as bhaiya and bhabi, after the wedding.

Also, you say that you have already invested heavily in the relationship, emotionally, and by giving such a big gift you will subconsciously expect more respect from them. Which you may or may not get.

IMO earrings and a post-wedding gift (comforter, furniture) is the way to go.

 

I agree with sandhya and sheztheone about the motive.
I think this sudden concern for mending fences from your husband and sil are for a reason.
She is coming to the same country and will need your support.
Your mil threw you out. She will want to visit her partner in crime ,her daughter as much as possible. Ils are probably making grounds for future visits to the house of a dil they threw out.

Anyways ...you take all this new love with a pinch of salt and treat people the way they treat you or deserve to be treated.

As for the gift...buy something in gold worth 50,000 and send it with husband if you feel they will make him uncomfortable at the wedding.This, if you don't want to keep close touch with her after her wedding.

If you do want to improve relations with her once she comes to your side of the world...then divide the gift into two.A small piece of jewelery for the wedding and some gift once she reaches her new home. The post wedding welcome gift will be seen as a sign of your attempt to reach out to her.....so think and then decide.

 

silver pooja set - useful and auspicious too

 

You know they will never change :bang(SILs )

For my House Warming Ceremony I gifted her a 100gm silver chembu(Vessel) for entering into new house with water etc...

what she said u know-- This is very small I want a big one which is used for kalasam

Then I said--This is what I can afford to make this ceremony I borowed 40 K from Dad and that is how this happening,she said when you have to gift me somethng then only you will tell all these you are earning that much etc.. my MIL is sitting there onlt she dint utter a single word saying how u can ask your SIl like that

Then I told ask your brother if he is going to give you a bigger one i don't have a problem but don't ask me as I can give this much only

 

demanding is like begging. If we gift, its upto us to decide what to gift and we should be whole-heartedly and happily gifting it, not feel it as a burden and give.