Please suggest some tips to keep myself calm

shashikalai · May 9, 2008

Hi Friends,

I am 12 weeks pregnant now. I am working in a software company. My SIL and her daughter(3 year) are with us. I am having morning sickness and feel tired to prepare lunch after that. My SIL will not care about that. She will come to kitchen only by 9 am. Even if she come before that she will cook for herself & her child only. She will not maintain kitchen properly. I am getting tensed for these things.

They are with us for past 6 months. I realise many times that I should ignore her and thing about my child and keep myself calm. But, I find it very difficult to implement this.

This is my first pregnancy. I am very much scared about my baby's health and character because of my tension.

Please suggest me some tips to keep myself calm.

-Shashi

Sujimallige · May 9, 2008

Dear Shashi,

Every human being has different tolerance limits.During pregnancy the limits change for the same person.First thing is u have to understand what is ur limit in taking stress,extra work and things and draw a line.
U r working and if u have to maintain house work also i think it will become really difficult that too when u r pregnant.
U have told that ur sil will do work for herself and her kid,so let that be.U and ur husband will be better off eating daily breakfast outside.Choose healthy stuff like idli,with milk shake and things like that.Lunch i think u will be getting in office canteen.So breakfast and lunch taken care of,for dinner u can ask ur husband to help u in preparing.If u have a understanding husband and u r firm abt ur limitations and health,i think u can deal it.
Dont worry too much,others r adults and they can easily understand what u r going through.If they pretend that they dont,then just ignore them and try to do only as much work as ur body permits.Dont over exert urself.Go to ur moms house for few days in between and get rejuvenated and come back.

hope this helps u.

suji

mommytobe · May 10, 2008

FORGET ABOUT ALL !

I HAVE A HUSBAND WHO DOESNT UNDERSTAND ME..

i do my own laundry...bring clothes down the stairs..take buckets up the stairs..i do my own grocery..have to carry gallons of milk and juice bottles myself..if i have a crawing for some particular food and i mention it to him..he just nods..so now its my problem how i get that...i have now gone through so much..naussea 24/7 and working full time..i have to drive 1 hour each way to work..so now i started tiffin system..and my most uncooperative husband expects me to drive everyday and bring food for myself and him as well...which i am doing...if he is not sleepy he will put on TV in the middle of night and wake me up..i as it is have a hard time sleeping and he has no concern...

Since i am just 8 weeks and dont show externally to be pregnant..he assumes...WHATS THE BIG DEAL..my mom managed work and home as well...i get no sympathy or concern...above all he travels and doesnt even care once to leave me alone in the house...when he is pack i unpack and carry big suitcases down the stairs to put them in the garage..if i ask him, then they would remain in the bedroom in the way for days. i am in states and ofcourse i have no parents house to go to...i tried to educate my husband by asking him to read with me..but no use he starts watching TV..i email him stuff to read and i am sure he doesnt even care to look and justs deletes it...

ISNT THIS FRUSTRATING

shashikalai · May 12, 2008

Thanks Suji for your immediate response & suggestion.

Hi mommytobe, I felt very sad after reading ur post. I will pray to God for you.

monlisa · May 12, 2008

gals I am sailing in the same boat..I am 6week pregnant and work full time...but have to cook for my inlaws and for my self.....but my husband is supportive and helps me in cooking....but still i have so many problems...my husband help me and does anything for me...but the twist is I have to look after their parents as small kida..have to do each and every thing...I am tired a lot these days....dont know waht to do

friends2b · May 15, 2008

Hi would-be moms,

First of all, my heartiest congratulations!

I felt bad reading some of your posts. Why don't you girls take your respective husbands along to the next doctor visit and talk about your concerns to your practitioner. I am sure your doctor will have some advice for them. They dont know exactly what you girls are going through so they might have a better prspective after talking to your doc.

Since, we recently moved to India, to a new place(atleast for me), and its a new job for my husband, we are still adjusting. I am pregnant, and when I went for the regular visit to my doctor here with my husband, she specifically told him to be extra comforting and extra careful, to keep me happy and all. Anyway my husband is very caring but after that he makes it a point to pamper me and keep me happy even when I am just plain irritated for no rhyme and reason.

I wish, your husbands understands what you guys are going through soon and you people enjoy your pregnancies to the fullest. And yes, remember, you ladies also have to take care of yourselves, so its not wrong to be selfish.

My best wishes are with you all.