My way of getting over my Emotional Dependency....

Ohhh I never realized I have become so Dependent......

Dependent or Independent...these 2 terms we generally relate to financial terms. Most of the people think that if a person is earning he/ she is independent else dependent. I don't deny this factor as finance plays the most important part in everyone's life however here am going to dig more into this as per my thoughts.

Dependency which I have experienced, seen and felt (please note am a working mother) is more than only finances. And most of time the grief, sorrow and unhappiness we women feel is due to the emotional and unsaid expectations we put on the people around us. This makes us so dependent and later on when they are not fulfilled they turns into depression and leads to so many unwanted situations or fights in personal life.

Here are few points which generally women think but never say loudly (sometimes not to there own self
1. I will be so happy if my husband praise my cooked food every time.
2. I will be so happy if I will get expensive gifts on all the important occasions (or sometimes without occasions too)
3. I will happy only if my husband praise me and my beauty.
4. I will be happy only if people around me do appreciate everything I do for them or for my family.
5. I will be happy if my family would have understood that am not feeling well and do not want to do household chores today.
6. etc etc etc.......

Hmmm...if you consider the list you will find mostly we are thinking as if the people around us are some Antaryami kinda.....They will understand what we want, they will come to know by there own that we are not well, that we want to be gifted.

Now my question is why why why...
Why we females become so much dependent for our happiness to other?
Why we don't become confident and content within ourselves?
Why we don't overcome from this feeling os self pity?

Is it doing any good to us...no no no...it just leads to sorrow and unhappiness and after sometimes it leads to some unhealthy situation within family too.

I have given thought to all this as I am too not an exception. But I wanted to overcome all this. So I have decided my peace of mind and my happiness is not going to be dependent on somebody's action or inaction.

1. My husband need not to praise my food every time he eats but yes, if he is eating properly or take one extra roti some day, I know he liked it. (See here I have started taking the unsaid praises)
2.Gifts??? If I got very good, if not, and I really need something I will gift it to myself, or I straight forward say hey I have to buy this lets go someday for this. As simple as that.
3. Any body praise or not...I believe in myself and know GOD has made me the best possible way HE could have.
4. Whatever am doing for my family is because its my duty towards them and am happy to fulfill it till my best way.
5. Am not well...ok am not well today...please manage on your own. Very simple isnt' it?

See the answers are so simple but yes simple is mostly so tough to do. But these simple things have made my life so easy and uncomplicated.

BTW am not saying that I have become so perfect and living a perfect life. Am still all filled and bound with my own human weaknesses, I do get slip some or other time and get into the same mode of unsaid expectations or griefs but I try to overcome it all the time. I keep trying to improve myself.

Whenever I get into some problems or situations which are not healthy, I try to self analyze it. As I cant change others, I cant change every situations, they are not under my control. But surely my actions are in my control, I can control and manage my actions, thinking and attitude. So I work out on the things which are under my control and trust me it gives good results.