People disappearing from life mysteriously..cutting ties ,friendship for no reason

Re: People disappearing from life mysteriously..cutting ties ,friendship for no reaso

Hi,

It happens to me also, my name also Varalakshmi, I too felt many times even with close relations.

 

Re: People disappearing from life mysteriously..cutting ties ,friendship for no reaso

GG - This has happened to me too..but there is a small twist to it...my best friend from school wanted me stop contacting her when we had just entered college, gave me a very lame excuse as to how much I have changed blah blah and it was THE END. We coincidently met 8 yrs later as we happened to work in the same campus, became friends again, really close and continued for 3 yrs until recently. Recently she got married and this time without any warning stopped contacting me, everytime I reached out to her I only got excuses nothing else....this went on for sometime and I realized no point in wasting time or running behind someone or something...everything in life comes with an EXPIRY date...hurts me till today as to why this happened to me..but wats the point...

Your right and true, whatever you said 'its me who need to change and not to invest so much energy, time in few people and hoping they will stay around rest of my life'

thumbsup:thumbsup

 

Re: People disappearing from life mysteriously..cutting ties ,friendship for no reaso

It happened to me many times.. May be because of new changes in life. I have a friend who knows me for 3 yrs and she cut of her ties after my divorce.. People are like that and they cannot be changed

 

Re: People disappearing from life mysteriously..cutting ties ,friendship for no reaso

IGG, sometimes it takes another person a decade or 2 to understand that xyz is not fit for them.
Eg: I had a close inseparable frnd, about whom I finally realized that.... she was happy as long as I din't perform better than her, had guys giving attention only to her, I din't dress better than her, I din't get married ahead of her,I din't have a child before her.... and so on.
I was a topper and my teachers were sure am making thru premier engg colleges without payment seat , she cud barely pass.. but she made thru medical on a payment seat.
I once went to archies with her and picked a valentine card and she told me, do you also need it...... I was too naive to understand the words but liked to live a different life that she did.

She had many affairs and finally a long time medical days affair with no near future date of marriage, however when she got my marriage invite she got hers fixed to be done 2 days ahead of mine and was telling me, I never thought you'll get a match so early... but pls make sure to attend mine.... for I'll be on HM when you get married.

School Teachers and classmates asked me several times, what did I find common with her to stick around.
My parents and brother kept warning me to stay away from her and concentrate on my academics right from schooling, so although I enjoyed life and company with her, there were a lot of things which left me in a bad taste.... once the realization set in after a decade of knowing, I chose to move on. I'm not even sure if she might be asking a similar question or had moved on long back. We're on FB and rarely interact.

She was doing and saying a lot of things extreme good and mean to me which I never had objections and hence the so called friendship continued for so long till I really felt JACKASS and dried out emotionally for her.

 

Re: People disappearing from life mysteriously..cutting ties ,friendship for no reaso

OP, I can totally understand how hurt you must be. I had a school friend, we were close friends from middle school. We went to same college, but diff dept, so it waded away little by little. 2 yrs back, I came to know she lives close to where I live, I emailed her and started contacting and we caught up. Then I, with my family, drove to meet her family. Her DH and my DH clicked too and it was all nice. We came back inviting them to come visit us in our city. I used to call her every other day, she would never call me, I just thought I will call her no big deal. then one Thursday she said her family is visiting us the same weekend. We had plans for the whole weekend and couldnt cancel on our prev plans, so I asked if she can come the following weekend. Thats it. She completely cut me off. It was hurting, but what to do.

People are like passing clouds. We should just move on.

 

Re: People disappearing from life mysteriously..cutting ties ,friendship for no reaso

Is it possible that they tried to connect to you when your marriage was fixed and in a hurry to spend time with your fiance, you cold shouldered them?? :hide:

Not intentionally of course. But may be they felt that you moved on and hence this awkwardness??

I'm saying so because something similar happened with me. I used to be so excited to talk / spend time with my DH that I ignored a friends calls / smses thinking "where am I running away. will talk to her later." It so happened that she needed me because she was going through a personal crisis and I was not there, assuming that will talk to her later.

Thankfully, a frank question and a genuine apology has us back on track. :thumbsup

 

Re: People disappearing from life mysteriously..cutting ties ,friendship for no reaso

Not just friends, even my own family is becoming distant. So now I am a loner. A few acquaintances...learning to be happy with myself!

 

Re: People disappearing from life mysteriously..cutting ties ,friendship for no reaso

This has happened to me with acquaintances. It didn't hurt that much. But in case of close friendship, it really hurt. 2 of my friends stopped talking suddenly, at different times. I read that this is common in case of females. We have reasons but pretty varied. I think, its best to say: this how we function, when talking gets tough we stop talking. No solution to but to move on.