How would you deal with Infidelity in your marriage?

Re: The question of fidelity???

I'm usually a silent reader of the marriage boards too but I had to reply to this one.

(1) How would each of us define “infidelity” in our own marriage?

There are 2 parts to this. One is the usually accepted definition - a physical relationship with a person of the opposite sex even if it doesnt involve actual sex.
The second is the emotional part - in my book an emotional relationship with a person of the opposite sex which is greater or closer than the one between the two of us is also infidelity (I'm excluding DH's immediate family from this definition).

(2) How would we react should this issue present itself in our marriage?


In either case I would talk to my DH when I first suspect something may be going on. What happens then would depend on what he says and how much proof i have I think. I cant imagine beyond that really...

Good topic Nadhi...let's see what others say..

Vanathi.

 

Re: The question of fidelity???

hmmm.. interesting questions....

Before answering these questions, I would like to explain my expectations in life in terms of happiness, commitment etc.

For me, there are certain things that has to be there apart from the usual unconditional love, care stuff

The most important thing for me in the emotional engagement of my husband. How understanding, affectionate he is towards me and how much time he spends with me willingly [ me not nagging or dragging him to malls per say ]

Also commitment in the relationship. See marriage is a lifetime commitment isn't, so I would expect my husband to me fully committed to this relationship. Always I feel such commitments leads to mutual trust and a great foundation for this relationship.

I should never feel betrayed/Cheated ever in this relationship

So having said that, these are my most important characters, now coming to your question.

(1) How would each of us define “infidelity” in our own marriage?

Infidelity in my definition would be:

(1) Any physical or emotional sexual feeling for someone more intense than between us.

Example: I am OK he admiring some beauty in the beach, but to think of having her in "that" way and if I get to know it, then that is wrong.

(2) How would we react should this issue present itself in our marriage?

I would go nuts RantRantBig LaughBig Laugh

Seriously, if I know for a fact that it is true, If physical, there is no more to it, I will not respect him or this relationship anymore. If emotional, I will try to have a sit-down with him and hear him his justifications. What would I do, hm.. never really thought about it. I would be furious for sure.. but will I walk out on him... thats still 50-50 :hiya:hiya

 

Hello,


1) How would each of us define “infidelity” in our own marriage?

like Nandhu, i agree. Commitment to marriage is a 100% and noncompromisable thing. Infidelity - i would define it as unable to remain faithful to your partner. .
To even desire some1 else other than the wife or husband is being unfaithful...

(2) How would we react should this issue present itself in our marriage?
I would be devastated if something like this happened. I dunno if i will walk out of the marriage but yes, i wud b angry and hurt and probably detach myself from him mentally. But i wont let him go without a fight, thats for sure.

 

Very interesting question and very valid.

Most of us women are part of the workforce today. we spend as much time at office in a day as at home, and hence developing friendships at the work place is only natural. If that is of a person of the same gender then there seems to be no issue in it but if we have a deep friendship with a person of the opposite gender it raises a few questions.

i strongly feel love can strike a person at any time. how much of it we are free to express is a call each of us has to take.

infedility in my opinion is more a mind thing than physical.