DH not cooperating during pregnancy

hello anu333
as per indian tradition when a women is pregnant in the family they should not shift or vaccat the house till her delivery, it may not good for ur baby child after the delivery u can shift the house. so, pls convence ur mom u said ur mom will not adjust but at prsnt situation she should make herself set to situation it's not a matter of years just only months. first think about ur child then about moms nature, dont think too much about this it will cause an increase in blood pressure it will not good for ur delivery.prsntly go according to ur husband.

 

tirumalaa gaaru ... plzzz clean ur inbox......

 

Hi OP,

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Like Rihana has said above, do give it a rest for now. Also try to see it from his perspective.

Since this is more to do with sentiments than logic, you really can't argue with anything. Plus the sentiment is directed towards you having a peaceful delivery... Your husband probably doesn't understand exactly why you are in a state about this. Do make sure though that you neither antagonise him/ vilify him due to this particular matter. While moving would be the bestest solution, don't let it ruin your peace in case you don't move. See if any of the following suggestions will give you peace of mind. That is more important than having a bigger apartment.

It is tough if your mum is not easy going. It is not clear why you think so. However, what you can do for now - since it is in your control - is to prep your mum about the small space that she will face there. Just mention it as a matter of fact to her so that she is mentally prepared. In case you think she is going to stress you out about the living area, shouldn't you rethink whether you want her at all during this time that you will be vulnerable? If there is no way around your mum's visit, then, cross the bridge when you come to it instead of worrying about how difficult having your mum over would be - it just mightn't be as bad as you expect.

With the birth of a new born the amount of stuff just increases exponentially, I agree. You could look at alternatives - like storage solutions for your 1bhk. (A friend of mine lives in a tinnny 1 bed + 1 living room apartment and she just had her second baby! I have no idea where she puts her stuff as her apartment is always tidy and clutter free with a 2 year old + a new born + visiting parents + resident DH. She says storage solutions are her saviour)

Think of using the car boot as storage space. My DH leaves all his sports kits - cricket, badminton, tennis, squash - in the car boot.

Do chill out now. Don't worry. All that will matter to your baby is that he/ she is born to a loving parents, in a love-filled family. The rest doesn't really matter. So, relax and focus on the really important things.

Good luck

 

moving to a new home is a big thing and that to with a small child, stupidity. You have to settled already before you even get a new born into the mix. come back and figure it out with your husband, no point discussing this long distance. I moved to a new home just couple of months before i devliered, ofcourse we had to get movers and a lot of help from friends. i don't get the logic.

 

All that I can say is that I had to move the week after my baby was born and it was a horrible experience! It is much easier to get things accomplished while pregnant compared to with a baby or small child. My advice would be to try and move before the baby arrives.

 

When I was pregnant with my first child, we used to live in 1 BR apt on a second floor. My husband thought I was having difficulty climbing up the stairs when I go for work and for my walks. Believe me I had no problem climbing as I used to go up and down only twice in a day.. when I go to work and when I go for my evening walks. So, we shifted to 2 BR apt when I was 5 months pregnant. My mom and mother-in-law are very traditional and orthodox, so my husband avoided telling/discussing the topic of shifting to them all together.

 

Anu, like others said, wait till you are back with your husband before getting into discussions. If he says something about this topic, tell him that you are thinking about this matter and will discuss when you are back home with him.

Few things to keep in mind...in case you dont succeed shifting before baby arrives.

1. Prepare your mom about the small space. Its going to be a manageable challenge adjusting with a new baby and your mom and your DH in 1 BHK. Its doable though, people have successfully done it.

2. If you think your mom will not adjust and there might be a rift, reconsider her coming for delivery. Is there anyone else (like a sibling) who can help you for the first 4 weeks? You will need most help only the first 4 weeks, after that, it gets easier.

3. Do not shift soon after delivery. You dont know what the new house would be like and what the problems are. Even things like too much moisture or mold will be harmful for a baby; better to stay with a known devil. Top that with constant feedings, re-arranging everything in the house and probably 2 hours of sleep in 24 hours. If you dont shift now, dont shift for at least 4-6 months after delivery.

4. Look for good storage rentals around the town. They are low cost and will take all the extra stuff which you dont need and you can make room for baby-things like changing table, crib etc. You can get rentals for as low as $1 a day..of course depends on location but generally saying, they are not expensive.

5. Slowly start telling your DH that you need to make decisions according to your needs, more so now as he is going to be a dad. How long is he going to depend on his parents for decisions? Gently tell him that sooner or later, you both need to grow up and stop letting people tel you where and how you should live.