Should I believe DH or not ?

Playing devil's advocate has become a fashion now.

 

Ig, everyone comes here for suggestions, people state their opinions and leave it to the OP to decide what is best for her. So if she has decided what she has, that is her prerogative. That does not in anyway change what others have to say. Yes, people asked her to separate - but that is because it is very clear from both her posts (page 1 and 3) that the guy does not regret. Inspite of that if she wants to give him another chance, that is her choice. Nobody is going to grill her why is she doing that.

Her choice may be sensible for her, and for you but not for others. that does not mean others must stop stating their diametrically opposite opinion.

 

Five myths about cheating - Washington Post

This throws some light on some of the issues and points of view being shared here. Could be useful to make an informed decision.

 

Hmm....! Okay..!

 

My advice would be number one, do NOT go to your husband's work. In the US, work is professional and no place for family drama. Taking family drama into work may get your husband fired, the boss has man other things to concern him/herself with and does not have time to deal with personal issues.

Then, in my opinion, you cannot be happy in a situation where you do not trust your husband. If your husband wants to truly work everything out, then he needs to be an "open book" and not hide or be secretive, and allow you time to regain trust in him. If he is not willing to do this, then he is still looking to cheat....

 

You don't have to believe him for sure...He is a flirt..IGNORE HIM..
Short term EMA's are very common these days...

It is difficult to change one person's character..He is not feeling guilty for his affair with that girl. So by force, you cannot break him from that relationship..even if he break it, most likely he may start another one....

Being a women, what you can do is to keep the integrity of the family...Divorce and Separation will complicate and spoil everyone's life..You, Your child, DH and all the family members involved will be affected...In return, you cannot expect a better life outside this marriage or with re-marriage..

So you may re-invent yourself. You can inform your in laws about these developments and ensure their support to you and your kid. Meanwhile, you may prepare yourself to rejoin for work..Build up your confidence..Work out..Reduce weight..Gain emotional and financial independence...Expand your friends network..Find the good old friends ...Create a world of your own ..

If you are independent and stable, your DH would feel insecure and definitely will come back...

 

yes, but perhaps he would come back with multiple sexually transmitted diseases and a child with another woman.......

 

That is very good and leaves you in a safe position where you can decide without too much pressure

you have to decide per you comfort and the level how much you can take, a marriage is always worth to be safed if both parties want it... my ex-hubby had a similar affair with a girl from his company, i gave him over a year time after i found out and he didnt stop... so i took my steps (wasnt his only affair and not the only trouble he made me). So be carefull, sometimes if we give them "treatment" or discuss with them what we know we just educate them more how to keep their dirty secrets safe from us...

South and North has nothing to do with that, trust me.

I would like to share a story of a woman i know very closely with you whom did pritty much what you are thinking about.

She was married with 5 kids and found out her hubby is cheating with a girl she new.
She took the decision to talk to her after she discussed it with her female friends. They supportet her and wud have informed with her together the parents and rest of family if it goes wrong.
She went to parlour and made her hair, make up, new clothings and nice jewelry to look as beauty and sophisticated as possible, partly to boost her confidence and be more stronger partly to show off to that "gal".
She went there in her parents house :coffee grabbed her and said we shud talk in private, if you dont like to i can speak out in public too, dont worry about me.

So that "gal" talked to her privately in that house. The lady told her frankly if she is sure she wants to marry him she can have him, with the 5 kids on top (she was bluffing there to scare the hell out of her), then she could go over to parents and right give them the good news that she will be married soon with 5 cute kids or she just simply goes back to where she comes from and dares to ever talk to him in her life again. its upto her now.
That "gal" never talked to her hubby again....

In that case it worked... he was one of those who realised what they did.. and tried to change and make it good again...

BUT even this is years ago, the woman is hurt and had a hard time to find trust and faith again... really tough time... and he never gave lame excuses.. he got caught, was ashamed, regret and cut the contact to her from his side too.

Im honestly not sure if it will work in your hubbys case and its right you are not a saint in a soap opera whom is supposed to give with blessings her hubby away this lady did it just to SCARE BOTH of them.