Disappointment with second DD gender scan

comeon dear...think positive ..might be god thought this little angel will bring happiness and joy to your family more than your dream boy.sure your baby will bring tremendous bundle of joy to your family.take care .

 

Glad that things are improving for you. In future, if you find it too hard to handle,see a counselor. They will help you with your problem without judging you. when you come on a public forum, you find all kind of posters, some replies might help you but a lot many might actually make you feel worse.
Good luck and Best wishes.

 

Dear Stuti,

Any child may it be boy or girl are little cute offsprings of our own blood. Mother is the only person a child knows and trust fully. The child is a very innocent being comes to this world with the only known person "Mother".

A mother is his/her first guard. Mother is known to be selfless. A mother must be strong enough to face the world and give the very best to her child.

20 years from now the child will leave the nest. May it be boy or girl. They are with us in our home to be mentored for a good character. To have safe and loving environment to grow.

We as parents are selected by god to mentor these wonderful beings. God uses us as instruments to help these little kids.

The kid beng born has all rights to live in a happy healthy environment. I believe you as a mother should do your duty. Be a loving, caring mother for the beautiful child.

Children are not entertainment peaces. They took human form for a purpose. Getting a birth as a human being is a greatest gift a sole gets. You are just playing a role of mentoring such wonderful human beighg.

MOTHER MUST BE SELFLESS>MOTHER MUST DO HER DUTY OF BEING A MOTHER FIRST.

A mother has courage to even sacrifice her life if need by for the offspring.

Pray god to help you understand your role as a mother.

god bless you and your beautiful baby girl. My love and hugs to the beautiful baby.

..
Sweety

 

I am so sorry you feel this way. It is common to hope for a Boy when you have already have a girl. But if it is a girl then you just have to accept the fact and welcome the Baby wholeheartedly.

You are not the only one in this world with 2 Daughters.

At the End I always feel 2 sisters can be Very Good friends and share a great Bond than a Boy and Girl.

 

Hey you are not at all alone. I just had my second DD by December and believe me we ALL prayed for a baby boy just bcoz we do not have any boys at home yet, just like you. There were several omens indicating a baby boy, including the chinese calendar, etc. Per our orthodox I wanted to raise the boy with knowledge on Vedas and Upanishads, perform Upanayanam at the right age, etc. But during delivery time (had a C section bcoz of umblical cord stuck on the baby's neck two times - for that we ignored Rohini star thinking it may not be good for the maternal uncle LOL!) all I cared for was just the baby. Was not even bothered about the gender and did not get any goose bumps and all when the doctor congratulated me mentioning the gender. Yes there was a disappointment in the whole family.. but why crying and all? We all are happy that the baby is born healthy when there are n no. of small innocent children with so many challenges. ((TEARS in my eyes)). God knows what to give us dear. He decides everything right? He will always answer our prayers, so this is also his answer only.. I shouldnt be saying this.. but imagine those who are very unfortunate to have not even one baby, undergoing mental and physical turmoil... Let go dear.. and start welcoming the new one. The WORST gift you could give any baby is your hesitation to have the baby. If you are magnanimous enough, pls go ahead and adopt a baby boy.
Do not worry about the bonding and all... they are very very automatic. The moment you hear her cry, you see her squinty eyes trying to grasp your image, her tiny lotus feet kicks you, her rosey pretty lips starts sipping your breasts.. oh!!! you will forget all these happened to your first DD and that everything will be like have a restart button. My second DD was a xerox copy of my first DD and that has really pressed the rewind button in my home! Relax and pray for a healthy baby and delivery. Think positive and have a break. Eat like you dont have tomorrow.. go for some resort.. bond more and get ready the first DD to welcome the second one. Remember the first DD is watching you. There are N no. of chances for her to hate the baby already, which is not a good sign at all for both your kids and yourself too. Good luck Dear!

 

Stuti,

I think everyone has voiced their understanding, advice etc perfectly... so I dont wish to repeat the same.

But just one observation..

In all your responses to the posts here, you come across as a clear headed person on deciding what is "good post" for you and what is "uncalled for" (whatever be the intention of the post)...

then... when it comes to your own child (just think of it.. you own precious child !!! there are many out there longing for just an assurance that they can see this day )... why are you drifting away from being "clear headed" from Day 1 ??

you could have "put off" all those societal pressure as "clearly uncalled for" from day 1... wasn't that easy??

I am just trying to say - you have it in you... just be consistant with how you feel about things...will do you a lot of good in the long run and more importantly will do wonders for your girls... having a strong mom mean first road block cleared for a girl...

facts of life like gender of your baby is one of the things wherin feelings like these should never be allowed.. in principle ... period..

 

I also remember this post. Is the OP fooling around or what, wasting our time? :-( some people will always want to be in melancholy-ness... must be that she is posting no no cribbing around on nothing. or she wants to merely increase her no. of posts :-D

 

What you are feeling is normal. I have a girl and a boy. People often tell me how lucky i am. My cousin has a boy and she was v much hoping for a girl and was disappointed. She had a boy again. My bro has 4 boys and wants a girl so much but has given up. I have a friend who kept trying for kids till she got the gender she wanted. What I'm trying to say that it's not so much that its a girl or boy but its just that u want a child of a different gender. This too shall pass and once u see her, u will love her just like how u love your first child and u will feel guilty for feeling this way about her. I understand you are just expressing your feelings here but it really came across to some of us that you are gender biased and hence some negative comments came up. Hope u can understand why this has happened since after all we are mostly ladies here.....

 

Thank you for reading that thread. Please - I invite you to read more threads/ posts by me and then you will understand that I care two hoots about about what "EVERYONE" thinks. I only care about what my loved one's think of me. If you do the same, you will not be so conflicted and maybe find it in your heart to love your unborn (and your first born........in an unqualified manner). You may claim you love your child but how can you truly do so when your love is qualified by a "but". You are also promising not "to be nice to God- ess. I am sure SHE (the Godess) is shaking in her boots at your displeasure.

I will never understand a woman who is lamenting at the Godess because she blessed you with a girl baby. To me that is a greatest blessing- a child be it boy or girl. I really dont understand people like you and your so called "mindset and "pain". Do you even understand the meaning of pain??? I hope you never have to because then you wont trivialize your blessings.

Others may think my life is "perfect" (it is because I choose to make my life perfect and happy)but instead of being thankful for my blessings like I usually do, maybe like you I should express ingratitude and ask Godess for more and more and more.

One question- is perfection not what everyone aspires???

Lastly- Your are always welcome to my kindness and support

 

Yep the OP has it in her to take care of herself but when it comes to her innocent child, she gets a big F for being a mother.

OP your unborn daughter is saying- why me GOD why me? Why am I getting such a mother who does not have the ability to love her own flesh and blood? why me? Why is my mother more concerned about her friends, neighbors or other relatives instead of me? why me GOD? why do I get such a mother? Why me? Why is my mother so regressive in her thoughts and inspite of being a female hate other females? why cant I get a more kinder mother? why me why me why me????

Now I think God should listen to her rather tha you even if you threaten to not "be NICE TO GOD"