Divorce is only solution please help..?

My dear I have read all your posts on this, you need to be very careful ofyourself. Did the doctor not ask you what happened and how you got the internal bleeding. I ask because that is the first thing they normally do here.Did u tell your husband about it.
As mentioned before by some, what will happen the next time he loses his temper.
It would be safer for you with your parents, think about it. I hope you are in touch with someone/people near you , just to know you are ok. take care my dear

 

Tashsin - next time he raise his hand, tell him you will call police. He has no right to hurt you! Are you working? If so move out temporarily. I know you love him, but he needs to learn that he can't hit his wife.

Quite upset after reading your post. Will be praying for you.

 

Anjana this might back fire. I mean, that husband of hers is already loosing temper. Mentioning police might aggrevate his anger and he might beat her so brutally that she falls unconscious.
If she wants to call police, then good but has to be done without him getting a hint. Like...I am sure he is going to walk away after hitting her. She should call the police from bathroom or something....just thinking.

Tashsin, I am not able to take my mind off you. I will be praying for you.

 

Yeah, she needs to call 911 (whatever equivalent in Singapore ) I still can't beleive/digest that some one hurt her like this.

 

Tashin, did the doctor ask you what happened? Are your parents aware of this situation? I think it's high time your family knows what's going on. Is there a close friend you can confide in?? Someone in real life should know about this. You love him and all...that's fine, but be prepared honey; you need support. Please let your parents know what's going on. And I cannot stress enough...take pictures of all the wounds. Send then to someone whom you trust. This way, tomorrow if your husband destroys the evidence, you will at least have the pictures available.

 

Tahsin,

If u dont wish to contact me, pls contact your friends. Stay with them for some time so that he knows you won't take beatings from him anymore. Don't wait till the next time he beats you, because u never know how severe it will be.

I have a fren who was abused. She decided not take the crap anymore. Packed her bags and left. The man realised...he no longer beats her, is in counselling. U just need to show him once and it may work. Whatever u said, however provoked he felt..he has no rights to beat u.

 

All of us are so agitated after reading her post, imagine how her parents must be feeling!
Is staying married so important?
What is love, does it mean getting kicked around?
The DH will continue with the thrashings as long as the punching bag stays around as it makes him happy.

If the OP is OK with her situation then she can ask the MODS to close the thread.:bowdown

 

How can you possily be spending this time with him happily? Its clear from your posts that you are unhappy, and with good reason! The man is BEATING YOU, for crying out loud!!! Quit blaming your in-laws, open your eyes and see this man for what he is - an abusive ass who hits you because it makes him feel better. Even if he's blaming it on his parents, his mother and father aren't standing there holding a gun to his head and forcing him to beat you up. He is dong that all on his own, and you said he has admitted that he feels better once he's hurt you. You're in severe danger and there is no way to recover from that while you are still with him.

You can't miss him if you're dead. And what if, gods forbid, your son gets on his bad side for being a toddler? I have never been aggressive with my children, but heaven knows they get on my nerves sometimes. An abuser with a short temper and a drinking problem plus a typical toddler equals BAD NEWS!!!

It may seem calm now, but this is part of the abuse pattern. He gets violent, then he gets calm and it seems like everything is okay or will be okay. Then something will set him off again, and he'll be violent again. It usually escalates.

If you are absolutely set on staying with him, at least take precautions:

-this is the ONLY time I ever advocate lying or hiding things from your spouse. It is too dangerous for you to tell him everything. You need some kind of safety net, because at some point you are going to HAVE TO leave or you're going to end up dead. The following advice requires you to keep a secret from your husband, for your own safety and that of your baby.
-Dont tell him you're doing this. At. all. You need to document every time he hurts you. Photograph all injuries, bruises, marks, etc. Keep copies of all doctor and hospital visits, medications, and police reports. Make a copy of everything and send it to a PO Box he doesn't know about or a friend or relative, so that if anything happens to your originals, you have a backup or two.
- You should save money as often as you can, little bits if necessary. Hide it in your clothes, your purse, that PO Box I mentioned before, or with a friend or relative.
-Get a prepaid cell phone and don't tell him about it. Use it to text or call your relatives and ask them not to tell your husband about it. You will need this lifeline at some point, whether it's to call your parents and tell them you're going back to them or to call the police when he goes after you again.
- Above all, do NOT say anything to him about calling the police, leaving him, or threatening to hurt him back; this will probably backfire on you and make him more aggressive, because he will feel like he has lost control and will be more violent in order to reassert his control over you.
- If he ever hurts your son, leave immediately. Staying when he's hurting YOU is bad enough, but do not stay if he even threatens to hurt your son. If he does manage to hurt the baby, document everything and go to the police IMMEDIATELY.

I wish you would just leave. So many of us do. But if you insist on staying, at least start building your safety net.

 

As long as u blame mil and don't see anything wrong in your husband at all..no one can help u. Take care.