a DIL is nothing in MILs eyes!!!

For once.. mine is a reverse here... tells clearly that the kids shud follow family tradition of eating, sleeping.. watching TV.
Life's meant to enjoy and there should be no resp and botherations!!! PPl with lesser mental abilities are blessed by god to enjoy the life and not to put them in pressures and restrictions :bowdown:bowdown... Basically live a jungle life..

Only "ppl from struggling class" are meant to run after studies, ranks/ grades... and job. ("COMPLIMENT" ... Meant for me)
She being from elite class used to cut her husband's trousers and get it fitted for her son... since he wud outgrow them soon... he he he.... but yes a major income goes in eating when you order food 3 times a day... hence wud give benefit of doubt .... there's less left for dressing and studying and coachings :bonk.

Tells my DD that u shud get married by 18, so that am fit to enjoy your marriage, give you "PROPER MARRIAGE GIFTS" and eat in plenty .. so I simply tell my small gal... all these maids you see in the house did get married around 18.... and she runs away from her grand ma :rotfl:rotfl

 

Women like you give me the strength Shilpama..... Patience of mother earth!

 

Wait for your DD to grow up-she's going to hate whoever troubled her mom!:rant

Alert:coffee

This is a Generic statement.

 

Wow, my PILs have company. That is exactly what they brag as their policy in life - "Live life kingsize" and not run after studies, career etc. From Day 1 of marriage, for no reason they have been making nasty jokes that my parents are the pushy parents who ask kids to pursue careers. Looking back, I think it is FIL's inferiority complex because he is the laziest person on earth who shamelessly & irresponsibly borrows and takes favors from people, but lives life king size.

Ofcourse for SIL , he got her married to the most educated guy he could find for her. Also, for her daughter, FIL has high ambitions - send her to the best school, best education, bragging about her grades and how she fares better than others even in craft classes .
My FIL is here and all he does is watch TV, making bragging phone calls to relatives in India ( about all the exaggerated glam and hi-fi life in US:bowdown), sleep, eat and make it a point to find faults with anything and everything I do.

 

Hats off to you,ShilpaMa.You should be having tons of patience to be with her.

Deepd,I think it is because of MILs insecurity she treats DIL like a worthless creature.Probably that bkosts her ego.Just thinking loud.But what is stopping from questioning them?We are raised in such a way that we become dumb and submissive in front of them by default.I never question my MIL (not that I have anything to as now she knows she cannot play with me and she is a pretty okay woman too) because I feel I might hurt my hubby and she is "elder".Maybe I would have questioned her if my hubby does not stand up for me.

 

My MIL too! Same strategy!

 

oh, just thought i would just read this topic and go..but, i simply cannot get away without venting out myself i think...
in my case..
my mils want to live life king size, act like king and queen with me and my DH as their slaves / money making machines..pity part is..my SIL should be wise enough to make her DH make investments, buy properties, get all the best things in life and my MIL wants to stay in the immediate next street just to take care of her daughter even after she has 2 kids..while i should suffer all alone myself with no one to support also taking care of my 2 kids..

my DH was well brainwashed before marriage that he should not change a bit after marriage and remain tuned to their aspirations as usual and be a money vendor all the time..when we had brought them here, they pass comments to me like how ladies after marriage, enjoy luxury sitting @ home n going in cars with their DH..:rantoh my god..such jealousy and vengence..that even when i am a post graduate, had to sit @ home just to take care of my kids..hearing all these comments..

later i found a real sense of greed in all their talks..that is they want me to be also a money making machine..:bowdown

initially this was hurting me a lot, b'cos my DH didnt actually disclose the real greedy nature of their parents fearing that they may not earn my respect..but god made women to think smart and wise and we r much matured than men..in one way it is a cursed blessing i would say:bonk..i was thinking too much trying to know abt their wild actions towards me that they stayed rent free in my mind..

so if i have to b peaceful and liberated i had to stop thinking abt these silly ppl trying to take control of my life.. i could say, i was able to control my emotions b'cos of the fact that they get to stay in india (to take care of their daughter staying close by)

with no other way, i had to stop talking to them (with the fear of inviting pblms with their twist n turn nosy questions abt my day to day happenings), but the pathetic part is they dont care abt these and want to know whats happening in our family with an update from my DH..once in 2 days they call my DH with all showering loving caring words to please my Dh and to make him feel guilty that he has not done enough for his ageing parents:rant

god..why these MILs are crazy????please show mercy on the DILs..

( please make DHs more wiser and not as blind-folded dumb heads ..)

 

hehehehe.. thanks for being entertained.... I really don't have the patience to deal with her or wait for my H to stand up for me... so I give it to her then and there itself........... earlier it used to be with boiling bld but now in a more softer tone .. the way she passes on her spiked "COMPLIMENTS" for me.

Altho I've really reduced answering back from what I was in the begining... cos 1 ounce of discomfort leading to anwering back results into 10 ounces of blood sucking.... we simply avoid each other as far as possible.

DeepD... initial years are foundation years for children.. if you don't mould the clay in first 5 years, it has already taken shape and you can do only patchwork as an eyewash. I realised that a lot of MILs try to win over with grand kids by offering them chocs, icecreams & junk food... cos that makes the child happy and if the child is unwell then its DILs bones that are going to pain... and here's what I do... give chocs and ice creams only when there's bright sunshine and hot day.. accompanied with hot water.. so the child knows that mother gives but there are few things associated with it... Also my fridge is loaded with bread, chocs, cheese and ice creams due to obvious family eating habits... so the children have become immune to the availability.

I also fail to understand the obsession with bread.. no matter whatever fresh breakfast you prepare she has to feed her son with a min 4 bread toasts loaded with tons of butter which he won't take in her absence just to ensure that he doesn't forget eating bread... cos thats all that she can make as breakfast... apart from poha. Same she tried with my kids and I told everyone clearly... once the child has finished the fresh breakfast then only you can offer the bread.. and bread is going to be only 1-2 day per week of diet and not a daily business for them, they can feed each other whatever they want.. IMO.. Now the daughter also tells her what all her school teaches in junk food .

She told me your daughter was telling me that all frnds tease me in the school that like a villager she brings different stuffed parathas everyday.. (villager based on bread or paratha?????) tomo you place a sandwich for her.. I did and the moment she was back from school she screamed ... why did you keep junk food in my tiffin... all laughed at me.. I hate you.... and my class teacher displayed it to all.. I told her .. ask ur grandma... and this issue got resolved forever.

I believe am not a low level creature like her to directly imbibe hatred in child about her wrong doings.. will wait for her to grow up and create her own opinion.. till then just protect her and provide her with whats best for her.