Finance - I earn, Should I keep all of them all put it for the entire family?

redbird1 · Jul 31, 2012

Hi Friends,

I have earned for the past 4 years, After marriage 2 years i worked then quit. Before marriage I was in a different state, I spent for myself, rent, food and actually enjoyed. Since my parents were arranging my marriage, I spent a part of my savings for my jewellery.

After marriage, my DH being a only son. Didnt force me transfer all my salary to his account, my MIL asked him to get all my amount to his account. Since my MIL's brother is a insurance agent, she has opened around 25 policies and for which my DH has to pay. FIL pension is a silent saving. DH already had to pay for the house loan, electricity bill, telephone bills, taxes etc, In simple he has to spend for everything. :spin

When I ask him that, we have no savings for our future, all the policies which his mom has opened are our savings he says. All the policies are going to end in 20 years time. :thumbsdown

I ask that there is not a single policy in my name, ILs say everything in this house is for you, if you want we will transfer all our savings to you. But after that no action on it. Two years I have given all my savings, even my PF and gratuity amt is not left with me. :drowning

I actually wanted to get something memorable in my PF amt, gone with the wind

In near furture am planning to get back to my career. But this time I am not going to be coward.

What say ladies? Do all the working women put their entire salary on home and in laws without saving a penny for ones'elf?

freddycat · Jul 31, 2012

Redbird1,

Very clever MIL.... smart answer.

First few years of salary in the common pool towards house/family is fine. But, I will not consider doing it after 5-years or so...other than contributing to the major expenses such as travel, big screen TV or some appliances, etc.

I agree that at least partial salary of yours should be in a separate account under your name.

Foundlove · Jul 31, 2012

No don't give everything away. Savings account that cannot be touched and investments are a must.

psych · Jul 31, 2012

Yes I will second that. It will give you some decesion power as well. Indian men cannot be trusted unless IL's are very good. But if IL;s were good they wouldnt touch your money.....

spend somefor your joint expenses. keep some for your own safety net

gilchrist · Jul 31, 2012

^^ want to say something to u :. if i say anything thn i ll be banned .

RJMK · Jul 31, 2012

Have a joint account with your husband.Transfer some money and keep the rest to yourself.If some one asks tell them you are saving and investing.Tell your MIL, whatever you save is for this house only..Thats all..
No more whining or explaining.
Do not reveal your exact salary to them.Any extra pay or bonuses,keep it in your account.The only amount they need to know is what your H knows.I mean the transferred amount.

Sravanthi28 · Jul 31, 2012

Please maintain some balance in your personal account. It doesnot matter whether DH and in-laws are good or not. Having investments and cetain amount on your name is a must. Though its good to give away your earnings in the first years of marriage, it usually becomes a habit to DH and inlaws to expect it even after clear discussions (my case is an example). It becomes really hard to change their mindset. I have been married for 8 years and i have given all my earnings so far, but now since a year i feel like having some amount of my salary for myself. Though i could convince my dh, he still could not come out of that habit

Visasri · Jul 31, 2012

donot tell your entire salary, hide at least 25% for you. Also tell them you need a part of your salary.

coolsandy · Jul 31, 2012

how can an insurance policy ever be an investment???? :O

u really need to increase your knowledge base about insurance and investments and the vast difference b/n the two. Do a thorough analysis, see if all those insurances are really worth it? 25 is not a small number; Ur mil's bro is the one benefitting here with his share of royalties and stuff...

What i always wonder is; the one main thing that needs extra money after a person get married is food;so, cant a husband and in laws afford food for one person; how much more would it cost a month?
Most of ILs would already have the needed stuff at home or would be part of dowry. Those insurances, investments etc etc were all going even before a DIL steps in. For what other purposes would they need DIL's income? Why cant people stand up for that?

I know there could possibly be other stuff like hosting parites,poojas, get togethers etc etc. So, a DIL can probably share it then. But, transferring all/part of the sal, every month, merely shows that the DIL is not standing upto herseld. No poing in cribbing later.

DGcreative · Jul 31, 2012

Save something without detailed explaination to anyone. If at all MIL comes to know & questions, answer her, its for the house & future only, if you want I can transfer it to your name anytime when need comes. Give her own reasonings back to her.