Who is wrong here?

It's a much better decision for you to go long with your kid while you can relax with the kid been taken care of by your parents. Two months of being alone in the US is not going to rejuvenate you as you presume. Trust me initial few days you may feel happy without the responsibility of LO but deep down you will start missing your LO . However good your parents are your child too will miss you and since he/ she is small they may not be able o express the feeling.
I think you must try the option of daycare again.. Some other or the same and give it some time before you jump to conclusions about your child being unhappy there.

 

EXACTLY.. I have seen this kinda SMS texting style at many places.. I really hate it..
I hate a very generic and not self describing SUBJECT LINES in forum posts, emails etc.. I really dont get the mood to open such emails etc..
I really hope that folks can get time to at least PRESENT their issue in a at least very basic and reasonable manner.
OP: Please dont take me otherwise.. I simply want to echo Nandasyam's comments..

 

If you wanted some "me" time,why did you go for a kid? Frankly speaking,once you have a kid,he/she is YOUR responsibility,not your parents. I agree with your husband. He tried to convince for a daycare. The baby takes some time to adjust to new environment. You should be patient. I feel you should not send your kid to India.Call your parents here if they want to spend some time. For them to do all the work,it may give them happiness,but it is also so much work for them.
Tomorrow again you want some "me" time,will you parcel your kid again?

 

Hi,
Try to explain to your husband talk freely and tell how tired you are each day. Sometimes communicatingproperly solves all the problems.
And Iknow its hard to leave kids in Day care. I had to leave my DD in day care. It was very hard, she used to cry full day and not eat anything properly. But after about 3 weeks she started liking it. So you have to struggle the firstfew weeks, but I can assure you that they will grow to like it.

 

I support your hubby.i am also mother of toddler and i cannot imagine sending my kid away for 2 months alone?Do you think he may cope well???In day care if kid cannot adjust for few hours he will get along well with granny whom he is not seen in long time???
Either you can go there or call her here to help......All the kids cry in day care...if you dont like this day care change to another one....

 

Hi OP,

If you are sending your kid to India, all alone, are you sure he/she will be happy without misisng you there.
If ur kid falls sick, will you be able to go right away!!
After a few days you will miss ur kid terribly!! It might seem good now but it will be worse. I am telling you this from my experience.
I have 2 kds. elder one is 4.5 yrs old and the younger one is 10 months old. We stay in mysore. We had no choice but to send them home for 20 days. Since we both are working, other option we had was daycare. But dh feels younger one os too small to be left entire day in day care.I cannot ask for leaves because I have already used up all maternity benefits. Finally we felt its better that the younger one stays at my in-laws place than in a day care. Both the kids are attached to my MIL(she stays with us to take care of kids, but she had to go since my FIL wo sorks in hyd is not well and its very immoral on our part asking her to postpone her visit because we miss our kids), so they are happy to stay with her. But I miss them a lot. If I wish to see them, its just a matter of few hrs for me. we can go, see them spend a weekend with them and come back by monday morning.

For us, we HAD TO SEND, not becasue of "me" time or "our" time. But because we have NO OTHER CHOICE.

can you fly down the very day when ur kid cries for you or when u miss you kid badly? Think over.

Instead, if you make up ur mind not to send kid to India, please let us know, there are many around who can help you on how to get "me" time, even though you have a toddler.

 

Hi Niha,

My son is 11 years now. When he was small he was very........naughty. All the time running behind him and not able to do any thing. You know whenever I sit and started eating the first reaction from him is "Mummy Toilet". This was continued for more than 5 years. He is hyperactive and finish everything in a single minute before we react. Since we are also in a nuclear family and holding all the responsibilities i cant really enjoy it.

At that time whenever i saw a boy above 10 years who is doing all his work on his own i pray God and said please make my son big as early as possible. But what happened you know now i badly miss all those days.

Now he is some what independent and doing his work but those 10 years flew like anything. Being a mother is a difficult job and this is one phase of life which we should enjoy doing. I know practically it is very difficult but we are doing this for our own blood know. If you want some break go and stay in your mom's house for some time with your kid and recharge your battery and come back with full of positive energy. All the best.

Regards
Sharu

 

See your GP. You might be anemic or having some medical problem. He will prescribe you a supplement and you will be able to handle things better.
It is wrong to send such a small child in someone else's care so far away. Like some posters suggested kids normally do cry in child care in initial days but soon start liking it. The child care workers are also quite used to crying babies and normally don't lift them up when they are crying. The child eventually stops crying. Just have some patience. He will grow up soon.

 

Dear OP,
Maybe your parents are asking you to drop your kid at their place because you want to.
Your DH is right when he says that the child should stay with parents.
It appears that you are seeing this arrangement as a good excuse for shirking your responsibilities as a parent. After a few months your kid will be easier to handle. How do you expect your aged parents to take care of an energetic kid if you cant? They may keep a maid to look after the baby.
Being a parent is a big responsibility which cannot be transferred to grandparents unless necessary.Tell your parents frankly that your DH does not want this option.
All kids cry in Daycare for a few days and then settle down.
Yes, your DH is right , you are being influenced by your parents willingness to look after your baby. He is taking his responsibilities seriously , you are not.
You can go for a few months to your parents place for a change.
Dont rock your peaceful marital life for this reason, you are blessed with a nice DH, a sweet baby, appreciate what you have instead of creating problems.