Sharing with those who are in the same boat - Not a Sob Story

drjp · Sep 11, 2011

I have been out of this site lately, was reminded of it by an ILite turned friends this morning. Your post was compelling, so I posted. It is a small world, I am sure we'll cross paths .

RadiantCat · Sep 11, 2011

From Murder in the Cathedral:

Endurance of friendship does not depend
Upon ourselves, but upon circumstance.
But circumstance is not undetermined.
Unreal friendship may turn to real
But real friendship, once ended, cannot be mended.
Sooner shall enmity turn to alliance.
The enmity that never knew friendship
Can sooner know accord.

Destiny waits in the hand of God, not in the hands of statesmen.
The pattern is the action and the suffering, that the wheel may turn and still be forever still.
They speak better than they know, and beyond your understanding.
They know and do not know, what it is to act or suffer.
They know and do not know, that action is suffering
And suffering is action. Neither does the agent suffer
Nor the patient act. But both are fixed
In an eternal action, an eternal patience.
To which all must consent that it may be willed
And which all must suffer that they may will it,
That the pattern may subsist, for the pattern is the action
And the suffering, that the wheel may turn and still
Be forever still.

apar_ram · Sep 16, 2011

Dear Dear Kalyani,
So very sorry to hear what you have gone through. I am so happy you are out of the clutches of a psycho maniac. Glad that you have veena to soothe your troubled mind. Music is such a healer. Ofcourse we are all here anytime for you to vent and joke and talk and just be!!! Lots and lots of love and warm bear hugs to you my friend, Hope only great things happen to you from now on,
Aparna

kAlyaniShAnti · Sep 17, 2011

Dear RC,
your quote is so very much true. God bless. Take care

kAlyaniShAnti · Sep 17, 2011

Dear Aparna,
Thank you so much for your loving and comforting words. In a span of wide life time, we do not know what we are going to face, but can only strengthen ourselves from the experiences of the past. That's what I have been trying. And this site, the wonderful friends here always, as you say, to share our joy and lighten our heavy heart.

Love you, Dear. God bless you and your family.

Aladylikeu · Sep 23, 2011

God will give you strength to move ahead in life...

life is beyond marriage and relations...keep up doing good work..and forget the nightmares of your life.

kAlyaniShAnti · Oct 2, 2011

Thank you so much, aladylikeu...

life is beyond marriage and relations
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... so true, Dear.

shashiv · Oct 11, 2011

Dear kalyani,

I felt so sad after reading your post...You are really a BRave Soul... Hope GOD gives you enough strength and blessings to move ahead in life... Take care my friend... We are all here for you...

Shanti

lifeisajourney · Oct 11, 2011

Umlaut said: ↑

Dear Kalyani,

OMG. I felt like you were telling my own story. Makes me wonder why all abuser are clones of one another. I am glad you wrote about your experience. It will help others in the same situation to understand that what is going on in thier lives is not normal. Only a small percentage of us are brave enough to take this bold descision. I salute all of us who had the courage to walk away from abuse.

In my case, my ex was aided and abetted in his constant abuse by his equally abusive mother (who had parked herself in our house the very next week after marriage). To society ex and his mother presented a picture of themselves as loving perfection when in reality they were torturing me day in and day out. Of course not even close friends believed when I told them what I was going through although everyone readily believed him when he painted a false picture of me as a she-devil (talk about double-standards of Indian society!).
A few months after our marriage, he went to the UK for his project and while there he slept with as many internationally available females he could find and then told me very happily about it. According to him, I had "trapped" him, otherwise he would have had more fun in his life. And to add insult to injury, he put pictures of himself with the sl*ts on facebook and also send picasa album to all of his friends and me too. That was the ultimate humiliation. At that point, the devil really got into me and first I send his mother out of the house and when he returned from the UK, I kicked him out too. So his multiple affairs were actually a blessing in disguise, because they helped me wake up to reality! Otherwise, who knows I might still be taking his and his mother's abuse and still trying to "adjust".

Canwait, now you can add my ex to that list too.
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hi

Kalyani hugs to you dear, i think thats the pinnacle of a womans patience,

and to count on you all can add my elder SILs husband, he tortured her like hell and she took it all,My MIL seeing all that deteriorated her health to a greater extent, can see the difference from my elder SILS wedding photos to my second SILs wedding photos,

my SIl is no more after she met with an accident, not a soul knows how the accident happened,the fact is she had internal bleeding and this guy who is driving didnt even had a small scratch.

but then he got married again his second wife is literally showing him hell on earth,
so you dont need to count your mistake 3, there will be some one who can give them the same kind of respectful treatment according to their own definitions

take care dear and all the best for a bright future

kAlyaniShAnti · Oct 12, 2011

shashiv said: ↑

Hope GOD gives you enough strength and blessings to move ahead in life... Take care my friend... We are all here for you...
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Dear Shanti,
Thank you for being there. I feel so relieved to see friends like you around, which I got through IL.
Thanks for your wishes, Dear