How to forget my sweetest lover..

I must say there are lot of people out there who had love before marriage but end up marring someone else due to circumstances. Genuine people forget their past and love their wife instead continuing your feelings for that girl. And once you have problem with your spouse that doesn't mean you can justify your EMA as an revenge.

If this reason is good enough, then everyone will have EMA. Because at certain point on time everyone have problem with spouse.

Anyways, you are finding reasons for forget your sweetest lover. You will find better advices here in forum.

Hope to see you in married forum with new question on how to mend your life with your sweetest wife.

 

This is getting interesting.
First she was rich , not interested in a poor guy.
Now you are rich and she is liking it !
First of all what you do do if your wife was doing the same to you.
You are having a grand EMA , sending gifts to a woman who is married . Wow !

Both of you get divorced and marry each other , thats the only way out.

 

OP,

I seriously do not understand what have been in love got to do with the situation you are in now.

some succeed in marrying the person they love, while others learn to love the person they marry.

if you were really so strong about being in love with her, you should have waited for her to accept your love.instead each of you parted ways.

why is it you have rekindled the whole episode after 10 years.. is it because you have grown up financially in life, that you think that gives you the right to intrude in her life. is it because you have come to know that she is not happy, and you want to show her that she has not fared well for rejecting you.

Agreed she is having problems in her marriage as well financial. you could allow her to solve it on her own. does her husband know about your helping her out.

now tit for tat does not gel well for a marriage. she hid a lot of things, so i get the right to hide a few things is not how it should happen, if you have started cultivating this attitude, it is high time both of you sit and talk it out.

both of you sit together and work out a plausible way to avoid the outside intrusions and go ahead with your marriage.

now it is only in serials that all these EMA's get such applause and justifications. Do not try to justify yourself, that she is in a mess so my talking to her, being with her and helping her is going to make you both happy.

if you are really asking us to help you forget her..

Remember she is now married, and she has reconciled and is living with her husband.
Do not live in a illusion, life would have been different if i were married to her instead of your wife. learn to understand, communicate with your wife. i am sure you married your wife at your own discretion and not pressure.
do not compare the two of them at any junction, that is a major pitfall.
do not blame your wife alone for the problems, sit and analyse what is going wrong.
if possible cut off all contacts with her..there is no short cut to forget her unless you have a clean precised cut. leaving loose ends always is a problem.

You don't need to be in love to understand a problem that you are talking about. and when you come on to a public forum with a topic like this, you better be prepared to accept the different views and opinions of people and do not analyse people based on their replies.

 

Hi,
Do you really want a solution?If so listen to others suggestions with patience as you have openly came to a public forum.If you already have a solution then close this thread and continue your work.We are here to help you.So don t analyse and criticise any one who is trying to help you.As it is public forum everyone has their own rights to pen their suggestions.Ultimately it is left to you to consider it or not.
Coming to your problem how do you feel when your wife kisses some one on phone after your 10 year of marriage? how do you feel if she tries to kiss someone in a car?How do you feel if she tries to do all these things to avenge you and your parents? Does this sound good to you?So never justify your EMA.
Happy that you are willing to forget your GF.
Change your phone number
Stop contacting her
Spend quality time with your wife.

 

OP,

Sometimes, when things do not go as we want, we look for a shoulder to put the blame on..that is human nature. right now even if your ex-gf is telling you that she is suffering because of rejecting you, remember it is her way of telling herself, it is because of this reason and not because of some problem between her and her husband. this is always a viscious cycle..

you are not showing your love through gifting her..maybe you feel you have let her down and are thinking of ways to compensate for that..either way you are taking the wrong approach.

if she is so well off, then i tell you stop offering anything to her.

remember she was your ex and let her be ex. sometimes, it is not possible to be friendly with a ex..that is why i said it is always better to have a precision cut like a surgeon..

thanks for being open to our point of views. and do not equate finances and love. if your gf rejected you for not being rich, then it was not love in the first instance..maybe you need to rethink about it..

i know that because i married my husband..when i married him i was well off and he was not..and it is 18 years..

 

Dear OP

Is there a way to forget some1??Just ask yourself...I don't think so...

And you know once I had read a sentence somewhere "If you want to remember something (like name, cell number, account number etc), then try to FORGET it"..

I could understand all your feelings, but I really did not like your REVENGE kind attitude..Pls stop contacting your GF, try to build good relationship with your wife..... Just think, you couldnot marry her when you both were single due to family problems, so how is it possible now...I mean if its not possible to remarry her then relationship with her makes no sense...

 

Please stop living in dream world. Come back to reality. Even if you had married your GF your life would have been same not better. IT might have gotten worst, every day she would have cursed you for being poor blah blah blah....nobody is perfect...even in love marriages there are lots of adjustments and compramises due to in laws, money problems or cultural differances which people overlook when they are in love. Try to improve your marriage and donot contact your EX. At leaset your wife in faithful to you unlike your EX.

 

OP:
I would ask you...when you contacted the GF last year, why did you do that? My suspicion is that the real reason was that you were having trouble with your wife and this was some dream/hope of something better or past memory of something better than what you are experiencing in your present life spurred it on. This GF is not the type to depend on back then and also not now. In addition, even if both of you left your families and married, the chance of a successful marriage (I base on USA statistics) is only 4%. Your feeling of obligation to a marriage that is making you miserable might be making you a little desperate. Why don't you go to some counselling and sort this out privately. Maybe you can then either make a good marriage or make a good divorce, instead of making a mess of misguided feelings.

 

Honestly, what does this tell you about that girl's character. She put money before love. Do you think she would have welcomed you back into her life the way she did and entertained you if everything had been going on beautifully in her own life? Do you think all this would have happened if your financial position was same as it was before? Think about it!