husband only takes gifts for his family

mybaby1 · Jul 20, 2011

once again the same thing DH not interested in his PIL.my husband is alwaz eager to shop for his family but when it comes to mine its just a long silence that sets in.
i got married last march n then onwards i hv not yet met my parents.we hv visited twice to india by then.he all time got things for his family.in between this his cousin came so also sent a suitcase full of gifts with him fr his family.i had a baby in mar11. and he gave gold to his mom dad n 2 sis n sis husband&, son also.only at this time i got some clothes fr my bro mom dad n my sis and her daughters.

now again we r going to visit india due to some reason and again he has started shopping for his family and when i asked for mine he said we had already sent them things last time.
i m really pissed by this shoping of all the things again n again for his family by him(spending on stay is even more) and almost nothing for my family.he says that its his responsibility to do all that so is this not mine responsibility to take things for mine?.and this statement is ok for parents but i dont agree for his sisters as one is married to a us software engineer who earns handsomly and the other one herself earns a gud enough 5 fig. salary.
we have a no. og discussions and fights over this topic dont know how to tackle it and am i wrong somewhere.

need your valuable suggestion and if some solution too..
i m not working right now as my kid is jst 3 mnth.
Thanks in advance..

deepd · Jul 20, 2011

Dear
I ll suggest you to talk to yur h about this frankly and try to know his views on this. This is a society norm that girls side has to "give " always and daughters are not suppose to give anything to her parents after marriage. Though me and my DH dont believe in this. but I have seen this happening at many of my relatives place. My inlaws too have this kind of mentality that their son should get gifts for every one in their family but my MIL doesnt like if some one from my family even visits our place.

babyhopes · Jul 20, 2011

toooo bad!!!
Is he in good terms with ur parents?
Is he getting gifts for you and baby atleast?
The only thing you can do is talk to him and the rest is he should understand!

I really feel sad for you,i know how pain it will be visiting your parents after long time with empty hand,though they wont expect from us!

asuitablegirl · Jul 21, 2011

i had a baby in mar11. and he gave gold to his mom dad n 2 sis n sis husband&, son also
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I'm really puzzled by this because it's so weird. You carried the kid for 9 months, went threw morning sickness, doctor's appointments, hours of labor, those sleepless nights with a newborn..... and he gives gifts to his parents and siblings instead? You should hand him a copy of your kid's birth certificate and ask him who's name he see's on there under MOM. I think you should ask him since you did all the work and since the birth of your kid was YOUR special day, why were THEY the ones receiving gifts? It would be like if on your birthday, he bought his mom a present instead of you. It doesn't really make sense.

Maybe you guys could set a budget like $200 for his family and $200 for yours (or whatever amount is within your ability to afford) and then each pick out some stuff to give. I think that sounds more fair. Just my opinion.

arty2010 · Jul 21, 2011

Working or not,You are his wife and your happiness should matter to him. So you need to be a bit serious in this matter since I get a feeling from what you say your husband feels he can spend the way he wants without asking you since he is earning it.