In laws can be very scary at times and they harass the innocent people over fake dowry demands...read my earlier post... 498a is not women law, it is the vindictive barbarian law. there were 58,900 cases of 498a in 2005, 2007 figures will be double that... in each case there are old mothers, young sisters, some of them not even living with the vindictive wife....in some cases they are living 1000 miles away, still they have to take bail and run around in police stations and clumsy courts.... so get over it, this law is not for woman empowerment...they are only for breaking familieis and wife empowerment... i wont even call a wife empowerment, sometime bhabhi of a groom is named as accused so wither the good wives... now let us talk econmics...each 498 case is 1 lakh in lawyer fees..bail, charge sheet , cases so it is 584 crore industry...what you say of coke and ambanis.... Now let me tell you the procedure of bail in a murder...it is taken once and then over..this way or that way... take 498 a, the number of accused is 5-6 times the number of accused in a murder... so first a guys takes a notice bail...3 days stay on arrest.. then the fir happens and police invariably turn up to his house on friday or before diwali, holi, new year, summer vacation...so all 5-6 members have to take bail again... after bail is granted then the husband goes to police station and gives the security etc.. now after one two years chargeshhet is filed, so then the bail is taken again and these judges, they refuse bail even if wife falsely says my 2000 rupee garments are there.. and the bail proceedings for husband tag for almost one or two year in courts.... so the courts are crippled..and so are almost 10-20 lakh innocent people...and bail is routinely granted by email to tada accused... great indian barbarianism and i wont wake up till my own house is bombed....jago india jago
Re: In laws are scary at times Hi Sonali, Sorry to hear your views. But I am rather skeptical about this article. Firstly, the IPC, Domestic Violence Act and Hindu Marriage Act is there to protect every women and every individual who is a victim. And I also believe there are many loop holes in the system which does not give the women any rightful remedy. You have studied your subject well. Do you also know that there are up to a staggering 47,649 cases of dowry harassment were not even reported in Delhi. Yes, I would agree that the women who misuse the law genially affect the other victims which are genuine in asking their rightful justice. C.AW cell was devised with an objective of listening to the two parties and come to a compromise, a settlement and Protection to the women. Firstly, if there was a problem in the house then that would have been detected by the in-laws, Secondly, the Indian Police system also have a system to follow, a FIR is submitted on which basis the police actually take further steps. THEY DO NOT JUST GET UP AND START ARRESTING PEOPLE. No, the 498a is not a barbaric act at all... and the legal system in India is not weak to see through if the case is a reality or not. Primarily, the C.A.W quarantine ever case, summons each party to a table to talk then after querying the case they follow up. In court usually each case is argued on merits and then the law and court go through a process of either giving the women the right to stay with her husband under terms and conditions, a mediation between the two families and lastly a settlement if the marriage has come to a dead lock.The court does make effort to save any marriage. If these fail then the charge sheet is failed and the criminal case is argued on merits and severity of charges are filed. For your information a lot more charges come under the 498a and just saying dowry is not sufficient enough to convict a person. Law seeks proof. I state again, the FIR does not happen in 20mins and then the in-law's are picked up in the next 5mins. So hence I question your case!! How come you say there are 98% cases which are false? did you get these figures from??..and where is the parliament quoting this, which newspaper? because our news channels and parliament would shut down every NGO and erase the law's lied down.. You mentioned this is an industry, so is dowry.. so is the fact that every day women are dieing because of cruelty by in-laws, everyday they are being victimized torment and burnt and abandoned by their husbands. Lets not over look this as well. There was a case in which I was involved in which a women who was married for almost 7 months and pregnant by 5 months was abandon by the husband and in-law's and she was desperately trying to go back to with her husband. Another case only last week where a girl married for 4 years was sent home with divorce papers, drugged and intoxicated that she didn't even remember her journey home and who dropped her. Her whole body was marked with beating by her husbands belt's... she was made to abort 4 times, Its not only heart wrenching to see a young girl going through this but the parents grief is unbearable. I ask you what remedy would you give a women who has three girls, the husband abandon's his wife because she is uneducated and then remarries and has two other children by the other women?? Will you house her or settle her? give the girls a education?and what will you compensate her grief, pain and her helplessness... what was her fault she asked...... a women cant stand her husband talking to another women let a lone marrying and having two boy's by another..At times I feel 498a is weak and we should have stronger laws.. It makes my blood boil when such articles are written trying to portray innocent in-law's, showing that the police just appear out of thick air and the Indian Legal system as being weak.. Believe me it not...,NGO's and Women's cells where devised because of the problems and issues in society and also that women are rightfully housed. Sonali, I am quite disappointed with your article because it's not at all factual. But just gives society the wrong picture about Law and the Indian police. My advise to you, when quoting statement's please mention the newspapers, and articles you are referring too.. Thank you CAW
Re: In laws are scary at times Laws like 498A are a good tool in the hands of wives. Now, they no longer have to bear with endless torture and sarcasm at the hands of their husbands and in-laws. For the benefit of all, IPC 498A refers to cruelty by husband and in-laws on a married woman. Inside our houses, most husbands do not treat us nicely, we still bear with them because of our culture, but sometimes this mental torture and harassment reaches a limit that breaks all cultural barriers and a woman goes to the police station or woman's cell. We sacrifice so much for our new-family (husband's family) but what do we get in return? Taunts for bringing in less dowry, disrespect for delivering a girl child, beatings for objecting to excessive drinking of husband, getting burned because the in-laws want to get a new daughter-in-law and fresh dowry stock etc etc etc. Every woman should stand for her rights. If the situation required judicial intervention, so be it.
Re: In laws are scary at times I beg to differ. Not all cases can be a false case. I realize some maybe done out of spite. But not all cases can be dismissed as false cases and in turn prove husbands and in laws to be really good people with bad daughter in laws and wives. SIL's ,bhabhi's may live 1000 miles away and still create trouble. Its not necessary they be present in person to make trouble. What about all women in abroad. Arent they also suffering becoz of all trouble created by in laws 1000 miles away. It may not be right to say all 498a cases are false and prove all in laws and husbands as martyrs who are suffering due to bad dils/wives.
please read this Moderator : Dear All, Please refer to THIS new issue posted and not the OP . This is the case going on in my brother's issue please advice me something friends.My mother's breifing about the issue.Please reply me something all are worried and in pensive mood what to do?: How to deal with my daughter-in-law, son married before 6 months. We had no conflict with her.Unable to bear the bond of affection between mother and son, she tried for separation from parents i.e. to set up separate family. She did her MBA but is not working. My only son is a respectable chap with clean habits, he did his BE and is working in a private firm and pursuing ME. We are upper Middle class family. We both husband and wife are working employees have a decent name in colony and in our office. Girl parents are business people and we have come to know only after marriage that they are very proud of themselves and their property. We are least bothered about their money and have not taken any dowry. we want peace of mind. We lost our peace of mind after our sons marriage. They dont care us but still we kept quiet and have taken care of daughter in law, like our daughter. Now girl at mothers place out of state. She is there from past one month, son was with her for 10 days, as it is private firm he came back she didn't accompany him. Whereas Girl and her father threatening us by way of phone calls and messages and to drag us behind the bars. They are creating problem and are defaming us badly even in our married daughter side family. Those messages to me and my son cell are heartbreaking and are not true. We kept quiet. she wants to stay separately with my son and drag him to their parents place. As all laws are in favors of girls side, even son fears to stay separately with her. We all of us are in confused stage. My daughter-in-law and her father are continuously telling lies and trying to blackmail us, girl appears to be exaggerating a lot i.e. though nothing happened she creates as if that had happened. Father of the girl dances to the tunes of the daughter. We don’t like people<SCRIPT><!--D(["mb","\u003c/span\u003etelling lies. Very confused stage from past\n25 days.\u003cspan\u003e* \u003c/span\u003eThis girl within 6 months has\nstayed with her parents\u003cspan\u003e* \u003c/span\u003efor about 50\ndays . While leaving to her parents house she has taken all her costly dresses\nand complete jewellery.\u003cspan\u003e** \u003c/span\u003eLaws protecting\nladies are very strong.\u003cspan\u003e* \u003c/span\u003eHowever now she\nis staying with their parents house in spite of inviting her she has not turned\nup to our place. Please advice whether we have to file in a police station\nabout threatening calls? whether we can proceed with divorce? How long will it\ntake for us to get divorce for my son.? My son is not interested to live with\nher as she may repeat the same frequently even in future.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp style\u003d\"text-align:justify\"\u003eamma\u003cbr\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\n",0]);D(["ce"]);//--></SCRIPT> telling lies. Very confused stage from past 25 days. This girl within 6 months has stayed with her parents for about 50 days . While leaving to her parents house she has taken all her costly dresses and complete jewellery. Laws protecting ladies are very strong. However now she is staying with their parents house in spite of inviting her she has not turned up to our place. Please advice whether we have to file in a police station about threatening calls? whether we can proceed with divorce? How long will it take for us to get divorce for my son.? My son is not interested to live with her as she may repeat the same frequently even in future.
Re: please read this Please help me my friends advice me something regarding this it's my own brother's issue she is threatining us that she will use this law and puts us all behind the bars.My parents and brother were soo affectionate with her.They have fulfilled all her desires timely.so please advice me something to get rid from the threatening and decide something for my brtoher's life.
Re: please read this Hi, How about talking to a lawyer about it ? Now, is not the time to think emotional and how lovable your parents were to the girl. I have heard quite a few cases of women misusing the law, it is realll disgusting to do something like that !! There are some missing links in your post.. But what happened in the first place ?? Why did your brother choose to NOT live with his wife ? Was it because of his closeness with his parents ? If so, when they did live sperately why didnt issues get solved ? Sometimes, you need to think from both the sides, which could make one arrive at a justified decision ! Moreover, these questions will be raised in court if you had to face one.. Maybe answers to these would help our members to advice the right direction to you.. Not that any of us are lawyers, but atleast through various personal or acquainted experience !
Re: please read this First of all i thank u for ur reply Let me brief u the issue and reply ur questions First and foremost the girl is from chennai and our parents from hyderabad.They themselves approached us for the marraige seeing my brother's profile in the matrimony.At first the girl agreed for marriage and also the stay in hyderabad.After marriage,15 days later she started saying bad about my mother to my brother like "Ur mother is not truely affectionate with u she is just acting with u" all bad rumours.Well, the strong reason for this qwas her jealous seeing my brother and mother's affectionate bond.(My brother has a habit of sitting beside mom,sleeping on mom's lap affectionately).She ordered my brother not to sleep on mom's lap not to speak to mom,not to spend time with mom and all.And my brother hesitated to do that.My mother used to make her(brother's wife)e other lap when ever my brother sleeps on my mother's lap.A separate room was also arranged for them in upstairs with well furnished doors and fixed AC as the girl awsked for AC.she stayed there well for 6 months.she has nervous disability(sometimes fits too) this was known to us only after marriage.Still my parents has never commented anything and started giving treatment to her thinking her as own daughter.Later one day she said to my brother to resign his job in hyderabad and apply job in chennai stating that she hates my brother being affectionate with my mother.And started speaking that "U don't love me u love only ur mother" like this though my brother spends his leisure time completely with his wife and takes her out and fulfills all her wishes.From this she started hating my mom for the only reason seeing the tight bond between my brother and mother.And started speaking my mother harshly making her to cry and all.We are a iyer tamilians so we celebrate aadi festival.so on the invitation from my bhabhi's parents my paretns send my brother and his wife to there place.At there place my bhabhi's father including my bhabhi tortured my brother to reisgn his job and stay there completely with them in chennai and not to return back to hyderabad.Due to god's grace as my brother is strong enough he hesitated to do that and he returned back to attend his duty.But while returning back to home the girl hesistatedto accompany my brother stating that she wish to stay there with her paretns for some time so my brother agreed and left her there and he alone returned back home.From that day till now she started harrassing my parents that they will approach legallyunless and until they send there son separately and allow him to lead his life with his wife in chennai.U tell me friend why should my parents agree to do this?for waht reason?why should they leaev there only son?they are aged above fifty.Is it wrong at there part to think that to stay with there son and daughterinlaw happily.Now tell me what to do for this?for this case she involved me too in that doing comparisions with me for each and everything i married and staying with my husband in trichy.And iam staying united with my inlawsnow please advice me friends.
Re: In laws are scary at times Ok.. so your brother has not actually lived with her seperately to notice any difference. I dont want to be biased here.. so I give you my honest opinions from both the angles.. What say ? From your SIL's view, she is simply jealous and fels insecure. I dont say she is right. But cant tell wether she is wrong either. Just because I can take it, when my hubby sleeps on his mommy's lap I cannot expect another person to think that way right ? It is not unusual but neither usual too ! So, " why " she thought so, is upto her mind. But I can for sure say that it is basic insecurity any woman has, be it a MIL or a new bride. The new bride feels the husband belongs to her only, because she has left behind her siblings / parents and absorbed his family.. It is normal.. but she thinks it is a big thing of a favour. I know it is wrong. But she could be helpless and is just another normal person thinking that way. Maybe she was irked by the love your brother shared and feels he is not giving her the attention she deserves and also believes, had she not been with her inlaws maybe the husband would have given his enitre time to her ! From your parents minds, they are fine when they thought that giving the 1st floor for them to live would give them their space.. But just sometime back, we had an ILite who claimed though she stayed on the 1st floor, the PILs and SILs interfered enough and the hubby still spends a lott of time with his parents and not her. So, the situations and how one thinks could be different. Maybe your brother, still compared, her cooking with his mom's.. maybe he still wanted to spend more time with his parents and then went to your SIL.. Rammu, little things as such can always spoil ones peace. It may look normal and correct but when you want to avoid problems, there are changes that one needs to amke in ones life. I dont say, your parents are wrong here.. but they need to let go of their son for a while and let him fight his battle. A new bride will come with loads of expectation, few of us understand and move on, the rest dont just feel happy and yearn for more. I dont say it is right to have a truck load of expectations.. but I am simply saying it is as normal as a mommy-son affection. It is present in the initial days of marriage.. Once she is convinced, she is the wife and no one can become her husband's wife, she will settle down ! What your parents/ brother could do.. Does your brother want to live with her ? I mean just because she asks him to leave parents or not sleep on mommy's lap, he shouldnt make decisions as seperation ! That is wrong. He could live with her in Hyderabad in a seperate house. Just because he does, doesnt mean he is not your parents' son. He could always visit them often. The farther the better. Or even, go to a different city.. forget Hyderabad or Chennai they could move to bangalore.. Visit your parents once in a while and atend to them whenever they need him also. This way, your SIL gets to do EVERYTHING for her hubby herself and understand that after all she was being too naive and jealous unnecessarily. Your parents need to relax a bit on this front now.. Let your brother do things himself. So what ? He is an adult. Let them not interfere and protect him so much that he starts feel why he got married in the first place. The more he faces his issues by himself, he would not get deppressed. Or someday, he may simply get agaisnt the all of you for no reason ! I mean to say he would get deppressed. He shouldnt involve his parents for anything related to his married life and should tell his wife about hers too ! He can choose to ask his inlaws to leave the two of them alone. Give their relationship sometime. It may work or not. During this time.. your SIL will change for good or may not.. Till then, just stay out from their lives and only talk to your mommy. Do not aggrevate things worsening them further that could put all your respect, career and life at stake.
I second Preethi 100%. Just wondering,the girl left her whole family and came to live with her DH.Why can't DH leave the family and go to her place?Is any thing wrong doing in it and provide her good security in her thinking as a new bride. He doesn't have to move to chennai ,take a seperate house somewhere as Preethi suggested and make the marraige work and give the wife good support and see how things will go.
