I am i over thinking? pls clarify

There are two options here.He should have taken to office or he should have called that women to your house.

If he is really saced of you then he should have done that way.

First both of you build up some confidence.Don't spy on him,the more you spy the more he feel suffcated in realtion.

I am not sure what kind of flexibility he had it with you.If you are pretty flexible then he should have told you.

So express yourself,next time if he had to do it,tell him that,you would come to office or they can come to your house.

 

It is not you who have to change…Your DH has to change.

He needs to know where the line is…He can help people, but this sounds something more than that. Leaving you in the mall and helping some other girl for the whole day…I don’t think it is correct.

 

Some girls take advantage of others.I beleive she is the kind of one.Otherwise she would have commensense not to call someone at midnight.
I second with reverie.Your husband should able to draw the line.Tell him that you don't mind helping her as long he is in office.But you would mind after the hours or in midnight.
Definitly she is taking advantage of your husband.Right now he might have exited or he might be a nice guy who can help others easily.

 

Sonya,

If right now you are thinking too much and wondering about everything your hubby does, then he is responsible for that.

Helping freshers and all that is good. But, one needs to draw a line ! Giving notes at 12 am , what rubbish ! Like, she could die the next morning because of an unfinished job !

You dont have to doubt him or develop any mistrust, but you need to simply ask him to not do things behind your back. If you dont understand, then it is his duty to make you understand. It a'int that you doubt him at the drop of a hat, else, you wouldnt have been cordial while she was at your place for 2 weeks. Tell him, this should've been the last time he does such things and you wouldnt take it lightly the next time. It hurts you and you dont want him to do such things.

But, do not shout or talk loud sending a message that you doubt him. Not right. Instead be firm and talk in a way that makes him understand NOT to under estimate you or demean you just because you do not work. Office culture is all fine, but let anyone, including your hubby not sideline you on that pretext. He wants to spend time with colleaugues, he can, but having kept you informed. Period.

Just say it all once , very firm, showing him not act smart about office and blah blah, just leave the matter there. Do not drag everytime he goes out or whatsoever. Do not add any fuel to fire or make a mountain out of a molehill. Just let go the matter. Talk ONLY if he repeats weird stuff again.

Take care.

 

Your husband is just flirting - maybe casual but he is. Most guys do it when they get a chance.

The girl is letting it happen because she is also getting a lot of help out of it and maybe she is single so needs the attention

I dont think anything else is going to happen. This will end when they run out of things to talk.

 

It is defenitely wierd that she calls so late at night and he wants to help her. It is also very wierd that he spends his entire sunday with her. Alarm bells are going off in my head. However, by screaming at him you may lose your case. You need to be logical, firm, decisive and let him know that though you were willing to put up with the girl for 2 weeks living at home, that this lying and doing things behind your back is not okay. Also, that you will not be okay sharing his time with her. Tell him that he is wierding you out by going to extreeme lengths to help a so called freshie. Ask him how he would feel if you left him alone for a whole day to talk/help another man and lying to him on top of it.

It may be nothing or it may be something. You will need to get to the bottom of it. Don't lose your cool but don't let it go just because he makes you feel like you don't know anything since you are at home. You are educated enough and could easily find work. Stay smart. I hope for your sakes that it is nothing.

 

i don't worry much that she talks more to your husband than to you.

i would not say there is anything abnormal in men and women colleagues working together and helping each other.

but i certainly do not think it is office culture to go and spend an entire day in the office venting to a female colleague, after having told the wife a lie . tell him quite clearly - don't lose your cool, just say it firmly - that if he has problems with you, you are quite open to discussing it with him and finding a solution, rather than having sneaking off to meet his female colleague on the pretext of work. :bonk. it's something that is setting off alarm bells in my mind.