problem with in-laws and SIL

How old are u sudha? i see lot of immaturity and selfishness in your attitude. According to indian society there's no "my parents" and "his parents" unless and until there are reall serious issues.why cant u take care of both side parents at the same time.Taking care doesn't mean only spending money,buying gifts and doing the chores. It also can be done by talking nicely and affectionately and enquire abt their needs etc.You are too money minded that u r thinking a working lady has the freedom to disobey her mother-in-law. Arre yar, why u call mother--n-law because she is like ur mother.i don't see any love or affection in ur mind for anyone apart from your parents. I hope once ur son grows up u won;t be treated the same way by ur daughter-in-law.what goes around will come around and history repeats.women are supposed to obey mother-in-laws because they are elder to them and in the position of their mothers.your marriage itself was a mistake and i sympathise with ur husband for having such a harsh and selfish wife, sorry for me being harsh on u. i doubt whether u are being fed of these rubbish ideas by your parents or any relatives. If your husband is urs then his parents should b like ur parents. It applies to ur husband too. Not even once u have told that ur husband or ur in-laws have treated u badly. Mother-in-law keeping serious face is ok, may be when u r having conversation with ur husband she doesnt want to interfere or make any comments abt it, may be she doesnt want u to be embarassed by interfering.Leave my mother-in-law, even my mother does it. they belong to another generation and it's embarassing for them if their son or daugher is having some private conversation or time infront of them, may be ur friends or cousins will react in another way. I feel that u have lot of superiority complex just because ur father gave u lot of money and property in dowry. None in IL who responded to ur post have felt that ur in-laws are bad. What's wrong if sister-in-law comes to see her brother and gives importance to him? they are siblings, i am sure she's giving same importance to her brother's wife also since she's talking to u freely. Please change ur attitude or else u will spoil ur marriage, and regret later

 

Your mom indeed is a HERO. It is inspiring to me and am sure to lot of women in IL.

Thanks for sharing your story.

 

Hi rr99, what everyone means here is that don't think mine yours etc in a marriage. try to treat both side parents equal otherwise the whole life u will have to go thru a trauma of comparing how much importance is given here or there. Just accept the facts and learn to adjust. At the same time if the in-laws or husband are ill treating her parents she should not tolerate that. From her post nothing is there like that,i hate the way she is boasting abt the dowry her father gave, why she compares in-laws and her parents on the basis of money. I feel she's very money minded and such people never get any joy in life because they torture themselves because of their selfish thoughts and motives