Confused and upset with my hubby's behavior

Nitz

You have a kid to think about. Please walk out. There are many Ils there who will be able to help you to find your feet. Believe me. The guys psycho. Not worth it.

IG - going behing young school girls and beating your wife ( what ever the reason, beating anyone, for that matter) is NOT ACCEPTABLE. Men are wired differently or not. You are speaking sense but in a situation where its all done with. Not a state where we are discussing probabilities where in reading the said book might help.

 

Again yes I have seen men, who have changed over time....but again those MEN REALISED and ACKNOWLEDGED that they have to change. Unless someone realises and accepts that something is wrong with them, they wont see any need to change/mend their ways.

Also just because he fought with his parents to marry OP doesnt give him any right to beat her up right?? that too when a man beats his pregnant wife, he is more an animal than a human being. So through out her life she would be given this reason that I married you after having a fight with my family, so now you take my crap which totally doesnt make any sense. Its like I am cooking for you so eat crap

Man/ Woman should know how to deal with anger. There are other ways to deal with it. Also at the same time, if someone like wife is complaining about hsubands' act, he has to take a step back and analyze himself, is he really doing wrong?? if there is nothing wrong in what he is doing, there is no point in getting that MAD and ANGRY isnt it??? He is feeling either offended that his wife caught him red handed or that he has to explain it to her or that he is answerable to her. In any case yes both wife and husband are answerable to each other so there is no need for him to beat her up to just make her quiet.

If she keeps quiet, where will the change come from:crazy so its a catch22 situation where if she talks she would be beaten up and she would also be told that he married her out of LOVE (no idea what love is this)...and if she doesnt ask him why he has girls pics in laptop or why a girl calls him at late night, he would continue doing what he is doing and who knows where will all this lead to.

IG I also have to say this again, pls do not say that everything is very common in MANs world. I dont have any idea what is common in the world you are referring to, but not every man does the things you have referred/described...yes watching **** or admiring a beautiful lady is diff. and wanting to be in touch with such girls and beating wife for asking about is totally diff. (So hope you see the diff. there...this is not common in gentlemans world)

 

I agree with you one hundred percent. Physical abuse in any form is totally not acceptable in this civilised word. I never tried to justify her husband's physical violence.

She herself said, she felt emotional about the way her hubby liked her, .............and also she was wondering if, this man liked her so much before marriage, can there be a possibility that he will start re-liking her again !!

She also wanted to see a ray of hope.

That is why I was trying to give her some hope.

 

IG

I have nothing against giving a ray of hope to Nitz. But remember that whatever she is feeling now is part of cycle of abuse. Victim is always made to feel that they are loved and thats the reason for the abuse. Unless victim realises this part, this physical abuse wont stop. As far as hope is concerned again I will stick to waht I said earlier, Unless the husband sees soemthing wrong in he being abusive, he wont change.

 

Yes, Shrividya. I agree. Unless, the husband acknowledges that he needs to change, himself, he will continue to abuse her physically.

 

@IG

It is good to hear on Men's perspective on such issues. I had similar milder issue with my husband for which I need to take another man's help (opinion) to solve.

 

Yes, buddy. This is the place to discuss it. Feel free. We will try to help you as much as we can.

I am not the only male member of this forum. I believe, at least ten per cent ( probably more than that...........I do not know the exact numbers, Moderators can tell us) of this forum's members are men.