India visit coming up

if you dont want to go to india dont go. u can call your parents here if you wanna see them. otherwise its okay for you to go first to your parents , attend the pooja at inlaws and go back home. tell hubby that u will go to ur parents place first as u want to relax after such a tiring flight. u can go to inlaws place after couple of days.

 

India trips freak me out too although I'm not in 'bad' terms with in-laws. I just have a cordial relationship. I am planning one myself and it is so much anxiety - I can relate to you. I've promised myself that I'm never ever going to plan an India trip for the next 5 years. I too feel life is so much better for me and DH here. Planning this trip makes things topsy turvy for a few months.
Coming to your issue, try to make some excuse and go to your parent's place. If that does not work then I would say go to your MILs place. Give her a chance. May be she is trying to be good with you,or may be not. Whatever it is , I think it is a wise decision to know what she is upto. For this, it is best if you are with her for a few days. If she tries to create problems then atleast DH will get the point clearly and will not want to take you with him ever to his parents' house.
Good Luck

 

I would say that you could give your MIL one more chance. Just go there and check out how she behaves. Anyways there's not much between you and her, so there's nothing to lose.
If you think all is well, good for you. If things are not going well, again, good for you, just go to your parents place. Both ways, it is a win-win for you!

Oh, but I'm totally with you on the anxiety part.
I live in the US and we are going back to India for good early next year.....and my heart has already started beating fast! I feel the countdown has begun and am already a nervous wreck! It is easy to give advice but difficult to follow it ourselves.

If you are really really worried about going to India and if it is possible, then cancel your trip (but then DH would be upset right?) and get your parents to your home.

Anyways, good luck and keep us posted

 

tulipzz,
just relax
since you have your baby there, just think that you are going to get her and go with a fixed agenda in mind. Don't allow your mind to wander with negative thoughts. In MIL's home too,just talk what is necessary.
I've not read your previous posts but I can say that is fine if you can give her one last chance. If she messes up this time, then is the last time you will be going to her house! Be positive and go ahead. You are going to see your baby and parents too. Think of all that and be happy.

Good luck and keep us posted on what happens there

 

wow..You are going to india...I think you should be really happy and not so tensed..Come on..think of what all good things you get to enjoy there..Dont let you MIL ruin your trip..aaww..your girl is there...how nice to see her after long time...just do your work and If DH behaves differently just go to your mom's home and enjoy the time you get with your parents..Dont care about anything...I know it is easy to say this..but might be difficult for you..Just have yourself prepared in a possitive way...after all it is life and we should not waste one single day living in stress...stay possitive and be happy..everything will turn out good for you...But just give DH some heads up that if you are not happy in his home then you will go to your mom's home..

Hugs..

 

Sorry - you are living in a BUBBLE. Your DH cannot be a wonderful person if he "changes as soon as he sees his mom". If he truly loves you, then he will be fair even when his parents are around. Is that real love if he will only love you when in UK, and will change when parents are around!?

In my opinion, the problem lies with your DH more than with your MIL. If the DH is stable, you wont be running into this issue. I see people blaming their inlaws and saying DH is all lovey-dovey, when infact DH is the main cause by not standing up.

 

only thing we can do may be pray together .Let us all pray whomever wish to go to their parents home first should be able to fusllfill their wish.

I think after boys parents get upper hand . girls parents dont have any upper hand. All their efforts bringing the child,educating them all go in vain when their daughters get married. But for boys parents everything will pay off. Let this sick society change. Whatever happens I wish all MIL who want to mess up with India trip will get bad results. And DIL wishes will come true.

 

Hello Ladies!

This is a late response to your thread. Hope your trip to India went well.
I can empathise with you very well. my inlwas have really mistreated/ disprespected my family and me over these 9 years. My MIL has defiled my father who is no more ( she stooped to that level)
she created so many issues when i visited during my father's death!!
she & her husband were most hurtful and humiliting - they did not let me grieve properly...she even accused me of using my dad's death as a 'trump card' to stay with my mom and brother!! yes! unbelivable
my india trips have always been the most stressful and chaotic becasue of one lady - MIL. she has wrecked my ( & my family's) peace of mind,she is the most cunning and manipulative lady i've ever known.
To top it off my DH is an apple of his momma's eye.
i had a baby yr ago and i have decided not to visit india in few yrs as my mom, brother sil visited us and in ( outlaws) visited us to burden me with more work they did not give me an opportunity to recover from my emergency c-section!!
i was busy tending their needs over my son's and mine!

i can empathise with y'all who are in similar situations.
i get frustrtated to think about india trip - i despise it!, its my home country but too many bad expereiences with inlaws have left me feeling bitter....

if you get an opportunity to have your parents over - that would be great! they can spend the quality time here...

Good luck!
ciao