Prayers do not give you anything. If wishes were horses beggars would ride. The things that give result are your hard work, your capabilities and the guidance that you get.
You work hard, you are capable and you are guided still you feel like giving up. That's when the tiny prayers knocks our door n silently says "I'm there for you, believe me ". Prayers are momentum supporters which keeps the fighting spirit up. Quoting your words from other thread If one needs to keep the fire of faith n self belief burning prayers will definitely help.
I understand that there are lot of men who treat their spouses badly but in all honesty,there are lot of good men in our country too.There are lot of IL’s who have a happy married life. The stereotype that Indian men are this and that should be changed. Secondly,we have to also accept that there are many good mother in laws and sister in laws.My MIL might not be good generally but I agree she has her own good points too.. A man saying he wants to live with his family is not a bad man.A man who has so many vices,affairs and treats his family with disrespect is a bad man. I am not saying all this to trivialize any pain which is caused to women but just the mindset should be a bit flexible so that we are positive to what is happening in our lives. There is NO such thing as right man or right woman. We all have our dark and Shades in character. Even in the most amazing marriage..fights and misunderstandings happen.Good people separate for no reason. Yes..I do agree in many marriages, both the guy and girl could be at fault. No marriage can be perfect.It is all in our hands and perception.How much we are willing to tolerate without giving up our self respect, let go and lessen our expectations and attachments. No relationship will succeed without acceptance and compromise. Again the above is suited to only normal human beings and not to men who physically and psychologically abuse their partners. Saying all the above just to “tune” the mindset about marriage and any disappointment which might occur in the future. Balanced expectations and practical desires will help in any relationships. Just go with that frame of mind that there are good men too! Positive approach helps. Fix the mindset.Make sure the person you want to be with makes you feel comfortable around him.You should feel at ease around him. Apologies if I had said anything wrong. All the very best and God bless you.Hope your prayers are soon granted.
@anika987 - first we as desi people NEED to learn to accept with whats wrong in our culture..yes 1 percent happy marriages might be there but there are lots of unhappy marriage dragging on in our culture, where people are unhappy but continue their marriages . i know some muslim women who are happy being second or third wife to their muslim husband in india and justify that a man keeping 4 wives is normal and correct ...that does not mean that it is CORRECT for a man to have more tahn 1 wife at the same time...other muslim women say that these women who go on a crusade to NOT ACCEPT with whats wrong in muslim culture are doing a disservice to other muslim women, who want to bring out bad practices in their culture and hence, muslim men don't change tehir bad ways. i have a friend - her husband got lots of money, property form her parents which teh boy and his family had asked the woman's family before marriage and her husband treats her very well...so what, is this right way to hapiness..i is happy marriage after tonnes of dowry CORRECT for you...please, do good karma and do a servie to other indian women to accept whats worng in our culture and why SO MANY MEN are ACTING IN NOT A RIGHT WAY so that most desi men accept whats wrong in our culture culturally and change their ways for good so that atleast our daughters can be happy in the future ..even, my brother and his son accept that 90% DESI MEN need to change for good .if 10 % are good, doesn't mean EVERYTHING IS GREAT WITH INDIAN MEN!! Do not be like those muslim women who go on an argumentative fight to justify that being second wife and living with first wife is normal and really good for them and their husband and men like him who keep more than 1 wife are correct and everything is GREAT in tehir culture !!
I generally said what I had to say to have a positive frame of mind. Society has its own challenges and yes it has to be set right but this thread is about OP wanting a good marriage and we want to help her with that. We want to concentrate on her life in this thread.what could work best for her. I also never said everything is great with Indian men and vice versa.There are good men and women everywhere just like bad men and women. let us also not bring religion in this thread. Prayers are very important but a positive mindset too.That’s all I wanted to mention.
Am not sure whether this link is tangential to title of thread but few might be interested in the twist. It may not be perfect answer/ response to re- marriage . Amrutha, Anjali & Ayyappan - Could Almighty Plan Their Marital Status?
I feel bad for the hell you have been put through. The person and his family you were tied to are all evil losers. With a big L. As for non-desis wanting to go to past 4th date without anything physical, I believe it may be the part of USA you are in. But on the downside (or upside, I dunno), non-desis who believe in intimacy AFTER marriage may have different political leanings, ideologies. I don't want to offend anyone reading, hence I'm unsure if I can elaborate further.
Well, ok, this makes sense. In my experience prayer shapes mindset to do hard work, improve ones capabilities, and find good guidance. When person is out of ideas after hard work, capabilities, good guidance, many turn inward to prayer.
In some situations one needs God’s grace after all efforts are futile. OP is asking fir more ways to get God’s grace.
Prayer means we are communicating some thing or need something, whatever it is. But we have to do our part first. What are the qualities you are looking for, in a spouse? First, be that version yourself. Only then one attract similar persons. We have to do our part by being the best Almighty helps those who help themselves. We need to be a very positive person to attract positivity. Thats the only part we can control. Rest not in our hands. Be optimistic. Its better to be alone than with the wrong person. May you find the right partner and all the happiness you are longing for. Good luck