Kamachi Vilakku/kamakshi Deepam- Need Clarifications

To be honest, the rules and rituals vary a lot in every family. Best person to clarift your doubts will be elders in your family.
Since you posted here, I will only answer the queries based on rituals n customs followed in my family.
Please follow what suits you.

It is said that lighting kamakshi deepam esp on fridays is very good and brings luck, wealth and prosperity.
Again all these are just beliefs. Anything done with good intentions will surely be accepted by Gods and goddesses.
Some say you should put 3 wicks , some will combine 2 wicks to form one head which will be lit. Again, it depends as per family customs.
But you should never light only 1 wick that's what I know for sure.

Ultimately, pujas should be done with a sense of purity and devotion and not to take unnecessary stress about rules and rituals or social media pressures.

I see so many vlogs on YT where a homemaker with young kid has no help (neither house helper nor parents/relatives stay with them) nor help from her husband(typical thinking of men should not come into kitchen).
She breaks her back during festivals n makes 9 varities of naivedyam n huge decor (read insta worthy glam decor) single handedly along with taking care of her kid's online classes, dressing kid on festivals, giving lunch box to her husband , put rangolis etc.

Then on uploading the video, she says how she was unwell post puja it was stressful as her husband had to leave to office so she had to make his box ready 1st hence puja got delayed then lunch got delayed n how she had backpain gor 15days n still not recovered fully..

What I mean to say is that its great that she wanted to do everything traditionally but with kid n no help, she could hv reduced the workload easily n done puja in peace with little decor n less items for naivedyam too.

In every vratham book i read, it says clearly "yatha shakti" you cn do. Even if you offer simply a piece of jaggery with devotion, your prayers will b accepted.

Okay, sorry for deviating from the topic.

Listing below what I do when i light kamakshi deepam ( i do it daily)

1. Always keep deepam in a small plate (never use german silver items for pooja they are kisnomer, contain no silver at all.) Dont keep deepam directly in ur pooja temple
2. Put oil in deepam, put wicks
3. Never light deepam with match stick directly. Use harati stand n use 1 wick soaked with oil, light it with matchstick n then use this lighted wick to light kamakshi deepam.
4. Apply kummum on sides and on forehead of kamkashi roopam on d deepam.
5. Keep 1 or 2 flower on either side of deepam.
6. Now do your regular pooja recite your mantras n offer agarbatti/dhoopam then naivedhyam,
And end with harathi.