How To Deal With This Type Of Ego

Prabh · Feb 7, 2021

Hi

Thanks for always supporting me whenever needed.
Two days back I had a small argument over food with my husband. He always serves me food at night after we make both kids eat food. He put food for both of us and we eat together. He always gave more to me and always eat less by saying I know my diet. I know how much to eat this is not ab his dinner habit always he gives more to me ... its just his love, care ,affection whatever you say
But two days back when he made my plate he served so much that I shouted... that what is this I cant eat that much
On my action he also gave reaction and said I will not serve you from now ...
We had small small arguments in fun way that u put so much to me and always eat less I eat more but this time he took it so seriously... he did not served me from last two days .. I said sorry and told him I miss your care ... he did not talked to me yesterday but today after I msgd him in morning so he was taking to me but at dinner time he served his plate and said to me to put my plate on my own... I served myself and ate with him but he refused to serve me said do it on your own ..
I know him... from last 10 years ... he is egostic stubborn if he decided no one can move him for his decision atleast noww when the things are fresh and may be later on also ....

I know it seems like a normal thing and very practical thing that who so ever wants how much can decide and eat so not a big deal.. but I am missing his things he did for me... he is cooking for me and family doing all jobs whatever I ask him... waiting for me to have dinner but no making the plates... we have rough fights in the past our relationship is roller coaster so I am afraid to add one more thing to fight... my mind says that's fine leave it... going this way is perfect no fight ever on food but my heart aches ...
Please guide what should I do

Anusha2917 · Feb 7, 2021

Prabh said: ↑

that I shouted.
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If you had told something funny like "you wanna make me fat and you want to remain fit and thin so you are serving me more food? " you could have avoided this situation.
But then such small tiffs are common in a relationship and it helps in better understanding of the other person.
Either
1) Don't eat and show your protest silently
2) Eat as much as you want in front of him so he understands your quantity
3) or don't expect at all him to come back n serve you again , as your mind says leave it. For a few days be firm and ask your heart to not interfere and stay away from that heart, make your mind decide.

KayKuyil · Feb 7, 2021

A little time and space for him to heal. Some times, a seemingly harmless quip or joke may end up hurting the other person. Remember to give space and not create a gap. Engage with him as usual. Don’t keep discussing about this specific issue. Keep everything normal. It will become alright.

drdiva · Feb 7, 2021

I think he did the right thing..anyone in his place would do the same..Yes give him some time to heal ..everything will b normal. Mayb till that time you can serve him or make your own plates and serve yourselves . Move on .

Hopikrishnan · Feb 7, 2021

Prabh said: ↑

..... but he refused to serve me said do it on your own ............. ...Please guide what should I do
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It is best to follow his advice.

Eventually you will reach a new, different routine.
After all your children are growing up too.