About Parents & Siblings After Marriage

you tried to write precisely what ym wrote? LOL.

there's a difference that I will make a futile attempt to highlight. ym contributed to the thread's main question and then commented on one item from the list I had compiled so far. you on the other hand only commented on the lack of validity of the thread itself.

beats me why you have to comment on threads where you feel the thread itself is a moot point. why come and put such a damper on what is obviously a light-hearted timepass topic? time and again we can see that from you - criticize a thread, thread's purpose, responses by members or the length of the responses or the time "wasted" by them. i often tell myself "scooa" whenever I see this from you and try to move past it.

 

Have seen this happen too often. If a man or woman changes after marriage, some leg pulling is fine, but people take it to the point of getting upset.

A boy in our relatives married a girl who had gone to a convent school and generally spoke good English, and was more posh than us. He started to celebrate their anniversaries like girl-dekko anniversary, engagement anniversary, and what not. Used to go to Archie's store to buy small gifts for her. It became a huge issue.

It also happens the other way though rarely.. if a woman changes. One young lady from a family that worshiped coffee and treated it as something almost holy switched to drinking tea after marriage so she would have to make only tea as in-laws all had that. Oh how her family thought she had betrayed them. : )

Dang. I forgot to include this. Thank you. No matter how much you also want to go to that movie or that new mall, do not tag along. If your bhaiya or didi's spouse for politeness sake asks you to come along, even then, be sensible and say no.

Wrote about this in banter thread a while back. Little kids jumping up and down on the bed are not cute to the young people who will later make love on that bed. Teach your kids (no matter how young they are) to respect the space of newly married people.

Thank you, and thank you for pitching in. Have requested thread to be closed. So, adding a few till it is good morning in Chennai.

 

When I read the havoc wrought by parents who visit their married child's house for extended period without checking how feasible it is for their child and child's family, I shake my head. I have seen households where unless the person and the person's spouse each verbally issue an invite, such plans are not made.

 

True. If the child does not demand or ensure that behavior from his/her parents, the child-in-law need not be equally tolerant. Unfortunately, I got this gyan mostly after observing this behavior from my mother.

Got this gyan from my better-half. To accept that around high-school time, my child's "personal" life starts to become off-limits unless he/she needs or solicits help was a hard lesson.

 

Agree. Each family has some practices outsiders can consider odd but which are natural to that family. In the case of any such practice, not just mother feeding child, if the child's spouse finds it awkward, better if the spouse's preference can be respected without the spouse having to explain it deeply. Of course, if the spouse wants to abolish every display of affection, there is a different problem.

It was 2 o'clock rice in our home when we were young. Often on the days we washed the house, and we were wiping the floor with "dry" old towels. Now I can't remember when was the last time I had rice like this.

 

And the thing is when gently told that walking in on son changing clothes should stop, instead of taking it in the right spirit, they make it an issue, "Oh now you are a big boy, married, I who have washed your butt now should not enter room when you are changing clothes.."

Nice to read. It is the simple rituals that speak the most.