Why Men Behave So After Retirement?

The title of the thread and saying most of them do this is indeed a big generalization. Like you wrote some do this, some dont. There is no well conducted statistics on which “category” is the majority or %
Overall, just like before retirement, depends on the individual person’s attitude if they are more empathetic to the partner (even while in a job) - the same or similar reasons will apply to why they are being self-centered after retirement as well.

 

My FIL exact same way. He expects all women in the family to treat him like the queen. I completely ignored his demands, now only my MIL does all the work for him. In retaliation, he has stopped talking to me. I don't care the least bit about this. I hate his male chauvinist attitude so much, I am never going to bow down and cater all his needs. So the thing is, they can behave the way they want to. We DILs should not cater to all their wishes. Otherwise they will make it a habit and start demanding more and more.

 

Too late now... many aunties, and daughter-in-laws have already forwarded that in what'sapp to their grand-guy. Just to poke him to behave better in the coming days.

Nature had provided the old girls a leetul bit of peace towards the end of life, by adjusting the length of time as to who gets to misbehave the longest.

 

hahaha....moved to banter..

 

Some do out of insecurity of no longer being the ' breadwinner' or the working guy.

This insecurity makes them expect extra attention for some months to reassure them that they are still as valuable as they were when they were working . This usually settles down in a few months . This happened to my dad where he would expect extra treatment and get extremely insecure and emotional.

Some other guys try to live the dream retirement life that they have been dreaming of during there working years.

Some guys can't get used to the life at home and feel the need to meet up with friends and collegues everyday like before retirement.

Some are just abnoxious old men who were always like this...only difference is that now the wife has no respite and has to suffer him full time.

Agree that the woman of the house usually never gets to have her retirement and is usually burdened more not just with work but also the extra interference of the husband . She generally loses the little ' me' time that she had earlier.

Women should also strive towards retiring by planning it ahead of time with husband .
They both should try and simplify their life together so that they both can enjoy the post retirement life.

 

Enjoy post retirement life ?

In keeping with our reputation on a certain internet site with reviews about other internet sites, we must not forget to comment on the matter of divorce.

Gray divorce is a phenom' in countries where divorce is less complicated when all the children are legal adults, and will not figure in a divorce case anymore. Perhaps when divorce is made a lot simpler in India, and affluent people no longer care about "what would people say" aspect to their social interactions, we too could have graying people going their own ways. Here is an excerpt from a web essay on the thinking.

“What’s pushing gray divorce is people are living longer and they feel more entitled to living fully. They’ve contributed to raising children, they want an emotional journey, it’s their time now,” says Lili Vasileff, a certified financial planner and president of Divorce and Money Matters, which specializes in divorce financial planning. “They may have (decades) ahead and don’t want to be unhappy anymore.”​

 

This observations must be of men born after World War I.

2. I have seen these men at close quarters very conservative and orthodox. They expect always others treat them like emperors and they would do least work mostly sedentary reading news paper for four to five hours expecting filter coffee several doses. Besides constantly criticise actions of others. They make life miserable for their spouse and young ones with their presence and utterances. They will discourage son helping spouse in kitchen or cleaning cooking utensils.

3. But those men who had born after World War II or few years before that are not selfish. They participate in every kind of domestic activity and demonstrate their passion and compassion in all possible ways and therefore the young ones are very happy with their presence. In isolated cases, the old ones yield to young ones by preferring to go and stay in senior citizen homes.

4. I have seen a reverse case where the old ones stay in their ancestral home in city while their son and DIL have moved to retirement home in suburb.

5. These observations pertains to families who are not alcoholics. If patriarch and their sons are alcoholics, these are not relevant since they are unconscious of their surrounding and behave differently.

Thanks and Regards.

God bless all DILs.