Malathi And Her Mother-in-law - A Real Life Story!

I am too annoyed to read the comments. I hope someone has already said this.

There is nothing to be proud of in being a doormat. Not only has she missed out on the many pleasures that she could have enjoyed but she has taught her children that a dysfunctional marriage is normal. Of course, her children could have taken her life as a negative example and gone the other way.

I cannot imagine how she could have a decent relationship with her DIL. She has no idea what is acceptable for a MIL to do.

While she was enjoying her martyr status, I am assuming she kept putting her parents who did everything for her second always.

Treat them mean and Keep them keen. Works wonderfully on all people who have self esteem issues.

I pity the people who she is counselling.

 

Sridhar wrote this thread in 2006 when IL was in formative years.

 

Someone had to say it.:thumbsup

 

Thank God! Ladies here have really opened up..

to be honest I don't see anything great in Malathy, with her silent suffering what has she taught her daughter or anybody for that matter.
Her daughter's to be in-laws went all the way to meet her MIL just to gather information about Malaty.. What kind of cheap people with stupid mentality those people where?? just because the mother moved out does that mean even the daughter has the same intention??? what is the big deal when the old lady certified her DIL as the noble lady after torchering her for 25-30 years???

Frankly friends nothing in this story impressed me... I doubt about " what kind of counselling she must be giving young women.. may be kill your self esteem and bear all the suffering just for one final word " your are a good woman after all".. her husband secretly admired her but his male ego dint allow him to admit it or tell her, and she considers him a loving husbands and wants him even in her future births... please..... I am not able stand all this bull ****...

Though like Malathi I got married 19 years back and suffered silently like her, but still I improved my life by making changes in myself.. of course nobody helped me, I took all the ill treatment for some years but realiased so that " I am responsible for my happiness" so started acting accordinlgy...I din't go out of my way to please my in laws, I just did my duties and never accepted any appreaciatin from them because I know I wont get. Succeeded in getting close to DH and won his trust gradually, never never complained to him about his parents.. but dealt with my In laws smartly...

End result..
took care of my MIL because she was sick with all kinds ailments , both her daughters live in other states, DH works from 9-9 , FIL doesnt know driving... I would have taken her to hospital and doctors over 1000 times, she would got hospitalised a dozen times and since I am the only lady in our house I use to be her attender always, I use to cook her diet food... etc etc.. but not a single appreciation from her... after all its my duty according to her ...
One single call from her daughter is enough to boost her energy..
She passed way 2 years back... but her last words are still ringing in my ears...
she said she was feeling restless... I immediately voluntered to take her to hosp. but she told me the exact words " You want to throw me in the hospital, so you can enjoy life here" actually she knows from admission to discharge I will be beside her.. finally it was to late and she passed away in the hospital...
People, doctors , SIL's yelled at me blaming me for her death.. but my DH and FIL supported me and yelled back at them.
What have I achieved in being with my MIL for so many years

 

My blood boils when I read what some ladies here have gone through! Heights of cruelty ..!! How can the souls of such wicked ladies rest in peace? A classic example of how a woman can be another woman's enemy!

 

I also wonder why and how can anyone tolerate such abuses? Why don't they speak up? Why don't their husbands speak up? Why do they justify the abuse, and expect the woman to tolerate every thing quietly?

 

No disrespect to the woman but i would never want to live a life like that. PERIOD!

 

Re: Tears of Joy or Sorrow!

Thank God Iam not born in 40s and married in 60s. There is nothing good and proud in being a doormat. I do not believe much in winning the love back or something like that, it's too flimy for me. I belive in doing the right thing and using your own mind. Nearly 10 years of marriage has taught me that if I am not happy I can not keep any one happy in my home. I have noticed when I am frustrated over something or negative towards mils behaviour I am not able to spend quality time with dd. My mom was a door mat to her mil and sil. She too wanted to get good dil tag which she never got. My mom never poisoned mine and my brothers mind against our toxic dadi, but the way my mom was treated by our dadi made us hate her naturally. Malathi was lucky that she got to move out of the ils house in the early years of marriage. I would never get my daughter married in a family which needs my mils approval to know the kind of child I have raised. How silly is that! I feel a lot for the ladies who delivered premature and un healthy babies because of the stress they went through in pregnancy. I think Malathi is projected as goddess in this story because it's coming from a man. Because she never hated her mil and men love those women who happily become doormat to their mils.

Do not put the key to your happiness in some one else's pocket, keep it in yours.

 

I wonder how these spineless men don't get portrayed as the real villains.

 

Absolutely true. many old timers know who malathi is too. from what i know of her, she has an absolutely wonderful relationship with her daughter-in-law, and if i may say a wonderful relationship with the in-laws of her granddaughters too.(I was kind of surprised to see this thread in the relationship forum and surfacing so many times in the last two days..)

from 2006 - 2015, almost 10 years, there has been a sea-change in the way relationship forum has evolved. i still remember we guffawed at a dil who talked openly about locking her mil in a tall tower..to openly having threads on how to handle in-laws. goes to say il indeed has evolved to cater to the new age woman.