How to overcome negative comments ---- please advise

For me it is not at all an issue to be considered. Whether her dress was sexy or not, such comments may or may not come wherever she goes. If she is confident that she dressed well, then why obsessed about someone's comment?

 

Dear Smt. VaniVyas,

Namaste. It is definitely unfair to demoralize any body like this. We being a friend of such a soft spoken person, need to stand up for her and teach the ill behaved person a lesson. We need not be rude. We just have to firm and show him his place. In my humble opinion, It would have been great if you had handled the situation spontaneously. What is the point in discussing it and then deciding to correct that boy?

Also, that friend of yours needs a lot of self esteem boost. I am sure you can do that for her. I have faced this type of situations in my own family. I expect my nearest friend or relative to at least tell the commenting person that they are wrong. After all, what are friends and relatives are for? To support us in times of confusion right?

I hope my response helped you.

Kindly respond when free.

Sarvam Sri Ramanaarpanamasthu,

Geetha Ramana

 

The clauses under which a man can be arrested and prosecuted for sexual harassment under Indian Law are :

1) Staring at a woman for a long time

2) Making inappropriate comments on her appearance

3) Showing Pornography to her

4)...........the list goes on

What your CEO's office body did is , clearly, the second one of Sexual Harassment of women at work place (Prevention, Prohibition and Redressal ) Act, 2013.

If your friend wants, she can put that guy in jail. Just inform her.

 

what is appropriate and what is not appropriate in a woman's dressing varies from culture to culture and from individual to individual.

Western women roam around in two piece lingerie in beaches, which is not considered inappropriate in their culture. The same, if they do in Dubai beaches, they will face 3 years imprisonment in prison.

In Australia, I have seen young obese female doctors coming to hospitals (not for work, but for beyond duty hours staff gathering) in tight tops (awe fully boasting the figure ) and half trousers. It looked certainly weird to a few. But, as long as that woman was confident and comfortable in what she was wearing, it is NONE OF ANYBODY ELSE'S BUSINESS, to comment on whether that dress is good or bad.

Having said the above, I would also like to add the following, which may look apparently contradictory to my own statement above. Nonetheless, it is worth going through it :

A woman having (with more than 10 kg extra weight than her permitted maximum weight) a pear shaped body, with big upper thighs will appear weird to many onlookers. The obesity in the area of buttocks and upper thighs are exposed so much to the viewer in a short kurti and leggings.

Because, leggings are made of skin tight hosiery material, they will make the already obese upper thighs and buttocks , much more fatty.

A better option would be wearing a long kurti (up to knee), while you wear tight leggings as the bottom.

 

There is a very thin line between what is theoretically correct and what is practical. In a country like ours, such negative comments by passers-by is not something uncommon.
Similarly, it seems the woman or her friend is not ready up to the level of lodging an eve-teasing complaint at the police station... leave alone revealing this to their HR and getting embarrassed inside their own office.

My comment would have been different if the negative comment was rather very serious. Something vulgar or inappropriate. Even though, we know for sure that this man commented something bad here, we have only limited evidence to prove him guilty.
He said "Do you mind, If I say u something, please adjust your duppatta people from outside who are visiting the office are saying about this". This doesn't sound too bad to make a complaint at the Police station.
If I were the girl or her friend, I would simply tell the man that " I know how to dress, so I will take care of others. You better concentrate on your duty. Thanks." with a rude look. He will learn his lesson.

As a man, what would be your reaction if a random woman casually ask you to lift your jeans up a bit as it was slightly loose and falling down (if that was true, although you did not intend to wear a too low hip sexy jeans). Will you ask her to mind her business or run to the Police station to seek protection against her harassment?

Don't make woman vulnerable by over protecting them for such minor issues. Allow them grow strong, and boost their own self esteem. Let them face the world.

 

Countless number of instances of sexual harassment are not reported by even well educated brave women, for the above reason only.

Unfortunately, this 'silence' of the woman concerned, for the fear of embarrassment, gives an impression to the Perpetrator, that the woman is happy and is 'enjoying' his actions, emboldening him to make more and more further advances !

 

It is the fashion everywhere. The dress of leggings made of hosiery material, as such is a very glamorous one, because it is a figure boasting one !

Now a days, my wife is so surprised, because whenever she invites me for going to Malls for shopping, I accompany her without any second thoughts. The malls are studded with pretty women in leggings , making the entire mall, a place of scenic beauty.

Poor woman ! She thinks I am enjoying shopping ! gigglingsmiley

Nor, can I ! kneesmiley