Gifts for Inlaws and Their Reaction @!#$%^&*

HI I always bought the gifts for my IL and never expected or wanted appreciation. This past year because of a fight they returned gifts that I had bought. After that I told DH that I will never shop for them again and he needs to buy whatever he wants if he wants. From then on he shops for them and puts up with their dramas I completely stay out of it.

 

my husband bought 3 gram gold coins and wanted me to give them,i was reluctant since i know they wouldnt be happy taking gifts from me and i was little hesitant but my dh convinced me. my sil said she doesnt need it, she just kept it away and left my place and later they polished the same incident the other way around and told my husband. it backfired me and this time they got each 10 gram coins. they purposely present me all bad quality sarees and they leave me no option to buy one for them instead they ask for 5000 to 10000 from their brother but when giving me they buy very cheap quality saree,i dont mind if the cost ranges from 300 to 500 as long as itz good to use. this time for fil's retirement function i purposely wore that age old saree presented by them and my mil made so many faces and indirect passed hint to my husband to change dress. his dress was fine and she has problem with mine since all big people attending the function, it is only me who wore one such cheap saree. whem my sil asked me 'you must have worn something else'.
i told them ' this is gifted by u, though you would like to see me in this saree'.

 

hahahaa thats the best reply.. hahaha.. didnt you take the picture that time.. :wow

 

i made sure to be in all the pics takn that day, i purposely interrupt them when they were in conversation so as to introduce myself. that was one red letter day in my lifegigglingsmiley

 

forget it. and let this be your last gift for her.

 

As hard as it is, try to give because you want to give and just expect nothing, not even appreciation in return or formal "thank you"s. Especially for some parents, they will often say "don't waste money in buying me gifts" (my own parents are often like that). It can be a downer if you've spent a lot of time selecting the gift for them.

When I'm in doubt about what to gift someone or if someone has said "oh, you shouldn't have" then I either give them a gift card, money, or I donate to charity in their name. My favorite default if I think they're the critical type is donating to charity. DH and I donate to local charities or under privileged schools whenever we go to visit India and if there's a receipt involved, we have it filled out in the names of our family members. We give those receipts to the individual as a gift and they often are perfectly okay because it helped someone in their name but with your funds, it is believed to help bless the family, and it didn't introduce clutter or anything physical that could be taunted. At the very least, they can't criticize it without coming across as terrible human beings.

Third, if you get to know little traits or latent needs about the person you're gifting, then that will be helpful. For instance, my MIL doesn't take care of her hands/feet because she is often working hard at home and at work...and placing others before her. I do what I would've done for my own mother. Buy hand or foot creams/treatments to help (and they're not crazy expensive) and maybe even use it on her when I'm there myself. The reason for this is so it doesn't just get put away and forgotten and so that we can see whether it's effective or not. So far, this form of gift giving is doing well because I feel like I've been attentive and it ended up being a meaningful gift that she's continued to use.

Hope this helps!

 

They criticize if
1. we buy gifts for them
2. We buy clothes for ourselves
3. we gift to our parents
All they know is criticize and sulk

 

when moved out to india..we got many gifts for everyone ranging more than 10000 each..infact we dint get any ourselves and for my kid..my elder sil has teenage daughter and i gave them one cross bosy bag,backpack and one diamond studs since the younger one excelled in her exams. my fil was sulking that you could have bought another back pack for the younger one of different colour and i stayed calm. my cosis asked me how much does that bag costs as she likes sils bag bettr and i said your bag costs 4 $ more than theirs.

she constantly nagged saying my neighbours husband went on short term trip and they bought huge packet of choclates out of gratitude, i have done nothing more jus used to giv his wife some curry when she came home all tired from office. she was upset over choclates since we gave them almond choclates not mily ones and she constaly talked nonsense, i kept calm, i should have reacted then..later she said she doesnt need bag and gave it to me, i purposely opened the bag to show her all bright coloured handbags which we bought as gift for others ..she made my life hell for more than a month on this gift thing

 

I gave her saree only once and that too very recently. She asked me as to why I got a saree to her and that she doesnt
need any then. I just said that since it is sravan masa I bought it and nothing else. She had to take it because her sons and her DH were
around and hence no room for much of natakbazi there.


She somehow felt that she need to re pay the cost to me and so she paid the tailor charge for my clothes and got them for me.
When I asked her why she she got my clothes, she did not reply.


I think this would be a variety story out of many posts over here.