A wired behaviour of mine... Need suggestions to change it

Hi

Do yoga & calm ur mind. Eat healthy foods so that ur brain can stimulate u not to do that. Always keep saying urself that u shuldnt do it. if ur dh Becomes angry & does it to u how u ll feel it. Physical abuse is not good for long lasting relationship.

 

Dear OP,

You've done the right thing by asking for help - can't bear thinking about that poor long-suffering hubby of yours!

I have a few suggestions that might work:

Whenever you get the feeling that you're going to lose your temper, stop - right there whatever that you were doing - and just walk away.
Then go to the fridge and take a cool, deep sip of water.
Now, take a few long, deep breaths - do this for at least 15 minutes. This will help you calm down.
If you're still feeling mad, then go to your bedroom, close the blinds, and lie down for a few minutes or for however much time you need until you completely cool down.

If you follow these tips religiously, you'll never have a meltdown ever.
Good luck!

 

The answer for your question is in your post itself. Let me help you find that out.

We have been talking about abusive relationship interms of domestic violence and emotional violence from spouses. Many women claims that they are indeed in an abusive relationship, although their marriage is otherwise happy. According to all of them, it is their husband's they are unable to control their anger, but these women don't want to walk out or take any steps against them, but try their best to bare with them so far.

In your case it is reverse. It is your husband's love that makes you take advantage like this and behave emotionless.
Had he slap you once, or called the police or elders at home to bring a solution to your drama at once, you would have stopped or at least reduced this. Until and unless the other person stops his/her extra loving, there is a written rule that their spouse (or anyone) would try their best to take advantage of it.

 

I disagree. OP seems to be a resident of India, and a husband who is struck in an physcially abusive and bad marriage doesnt have much options but to stay put with the wife here. As such there are good number of cases where police has outright rejected to even register a case against wife when husband or his parents complaint DV from wife/DIL. So most of these cases doesnt even look the light of the day. Call it the irony of being husband in indian society:rant

OP, there is nothing uncommon in your case. Though there is not much of compulsion on you to change your behavior immediately, below are some suggestions

- Dont do it infront of children
- After the physcial assault is over and you cool down, apologize to your husband wholehearted. That may give him some hope and breather.
- If possible, go and meet a Psychiatrist / counselor to address your anger issues

Good luck

 

Apart from above suggestions, get yourself examined for Bipolar disorder or any other issues due to which you can't control your anger.

 

hope ur hus doesnt file for domestic violence !!! .... be good to him he loves you ... Everybody has a patience leve...donot test his... try to calm urself

 

Good part is that you are aware that you need to change. This is the first and excellent step. Many people stick to same pattern because inherently they dont accept that they need to change. So all the changes that they incorporate are washed away is slight rain. Take one thing at a time. Dont try to change something overnight which is part your nature since childhood. First of all talk to your husband and tell him your intentions and take his support. He would be more then willing to provide it to you. Then you change only one thing for 21 days. Pick any one thing and every morning and before bed remind yourself that you wont do that one thing for just one more day. eg you can start that i wont pinch him. then when you have mastered that step go on to other. it might not be easy but if you are determined then you can certainly change. Someone close to me was abusive and in one day everything changed and he never hit anybody ever again. It was also in his genes and habit. He changed because he wanted to change. for him it was one strong episode but for you it need not go that adverse. With will everything is possible.All the best

 

Hello freind just one doubt. so till other friend not change pinchng habit she no need to concentrate on other thing like punch and hurt her husb?:bonk alos you said not hurry and change your childhood habit. childhood onwards 0nwards op is beat and pinch others. now she done to her husb. And u say not rush?
Sorry friend in other thread I see u are giving very long and angry speeches but here for ladies you are saying don’t worry and take slowly. So all that time husb suffer?

 

Learn and practice RajaYoga. It is very simple and easy to learn.

Contact one of the Rajayoga center near your home and they will be happy to teach you..
It is free..