The Perfect Match

The Perfect Match​

I have seen parents of girls,quite a few of them, that when she is around 21 or so, they start getting frantic,to find a groom for her.And when they meet me and wife,they talk in such a worried tone,making us feel,as though their daughter is a burden on them.I pity the poor girls, who are made to feel, the sooner they get married and move out the better it is for the parents.What can the poor girl do?She has just completed her graduation,and studying further,and here u are talking to her about something that is delestable at that time.



I do not understand the reasons for the hurry.After all she is your own blood and family,give her the education she needs, the guidance, the love.dont tell her that she is to go as a bride from here,and never to come back here or look this way, as used to be the case in the olden days.Make her feel you are always there for her,and this is as much her home then,as much as now.God forbid , if her husband turns out to be a scum,or beats her, just call her back,even if she has kids.She is your own blood man.



My advise to parents of girls is " Save a little extra, besides the wedding expenses", so that in case of something going wrong in her marriage, u can take her in, and set her up a small business of a beauty parlour, or anything such,which dosnt requrie too much capital,but from which she can make her ends meet,without having to depend on anyone,and educate her so much that she can work in a good company on her own merits:"


Finding a match is not easy these days.A cousin of mine, staying abroad,staying with his parents used to be dragged by his mom every year for the pilgrimage to India , to find a bride for him.And they would have appointments lined up, and go visiting a dozen cities in India.Mostly the girls would reject him, bcs he is a straight guy,seedha guy as u can say.The girls would demand that he stay away from parents, and have his own business,and that he goes to discos and restaurants,and this guy was just the opposite.After around 10 years of rejections he got married, and he's happily married.He used to come and tell us brothers what happened wit the interviews,and we used to have a hard time to stop laughing.


Marwaris here have the money tag here.They just say ,my son has been offered 30 lakhs, whats yr offer ?This is like the land auctions held by the Govt.The h ighest bidder gets it ! Suppose a Marwari has 2 girls,one normal, and another Blind,the boys wont mind the Blind Girl if the Bride's father is willing to pay double.


We have match makers here, where to register u have tofirst pay 11000 to 51000 advance, and when the match materilaises, he gets a cut ranging from 10 to 20 % of the Dowry.That still happens here in Rajasthan as well as those child marriages.


Newspaper Advts, the less said the better.What they say and what they turn out, is totally different.And from the Internet,well well.
In Fact i have been thinking of putting a false picture in a bio on the marriage bureau,describing myself as a 26 year old Macho guy,wanting to get married,working in an IT Company drawing X KKKKKK rupees salary and invite replies to a bogus email ID,and an curious to know which females reply,how they look.But i have not got down to do it.


Good that i am not of this age.Neither can i find a spouse for myself,nor do i have the patience to go thru all the advts and the Pandits,and see girls by the Dozens,pick faults,and give reasons why I did not like the girl,if asked.But I am dead sure,I would surely be dead,living like Bhisham Pitamah,getting others married.Im lucky my wife chose me,shes the first and the last I saw,I have no regrets,I dont know about her.Let me go and ask her.


KAMAL MAHTANI

 

Shanti,

Thats true, marriage for many is a good business, the groom, thje pandits, the match makers everyone makes a pile,i feel sorry for the girls side many a times.

I did not know about the 100 gold coins, but it is possible.

Thanks for being the first to inaugurate the comments of this blog, as usual.Thanks a ton.Regards.kamal

 

Veda,

Yes ia gree at times if u dont ask, they may think something is wrong with u.HAHA.

Well i saw the first and said yes.no regrets.And she has borne with me for 28 years Veda.Some achievement :2thumbsup: I am not a very easy person .HAHA.REgards.kamal

 

Niveditiji,

Thanks for yr nice and generous comments.Like u i never understand what is the rush.I feel the ideal age should be around 23 to 25 for girls,when they have studied and worked a little,and know a little about the world around them.For boys 25 to 28, when they are a bit established and on their own feet 21 is too young for a girl to get married,as she must have just finished her graduation.


For sons, we have to look after their needs till we edie.If he is in financial problems, even when he is 40, we do help him with whatever we have.So why not the same for girls.

We cannot and should not tell our daughters, that yr doli will go from this house, and yr Arthi, that is dead body will go from yr inlaws house, meanign dont ever come back,even if they beat u.Just bear it.Cruel i would say.

We do try our best to find the best match for our daughters,but then if something goes wrong, we should be there for our daughters.

Thanks and regards.kamal

 

SLP,

I endorse everything u say.That is good advise u give.Parents get panicky very soon.they think all good matches will go away.They dont realise " There are many a fish in the Sea ".No one is the ultimate.


Thanks and regards.kamal