It was not a life Radha had dreamt for herself . Often she would think if she would have got into such a marriage had Appa been alive . Appa , who had loved her above everything else . Appa , who provided the very best he could for his darling princess , though he was not employed in a high paying job. Appa , who had died of a massive heart attack when she was 19 and had just started to dream of a glorious future . Appa had been the pillar of strength , the solid foundation providing security for the family . Without him guiding them , they were like saplings tossed into a flooding river . Amma tried to cope bravely , though she was least prepared to face life alone . It was not really Amma's fault that Radha had to drop out of studies. It seemed important that the family resources should be directed towards educating her brother , who showed greater promise in studies . Amma was counselled by her brothers that it would be best for the family if Radha was married off to a decent man while the provident fund and the family settlement given by Appa's family lasted . How is " Decent " decribed ? How is it identified ? Enquiries made gave encouraging results . Prakash was educated, held a good job , his parents and siblings , living in Mumbai , were good people . Everything seemed good . Though initially disappointed that her studies could not be completed , Radha soon put her heart and soul into making a good marriage .....and everything was fine , to start with . There are certain personality traits that cannot be easily detected even by parents or close friends . Besides , who can tell what can trigger what kind of reaction in people ? It came as a shock to Radha when she discovered that Prakash had a very short temper . Little things set it off . When rage took over , her was like another person, a demon, totally . His parents , in good faith , had hoped Marriage would cure him of it . There was no use complaining to them now. It dint take long for Prakash to discover Radha's submissive nature and it gave him great pleasure to think he now had someone on whom he could take out all his frustrations without fear of consequences . She was not his Boss who could kick him out of his job . She was not his Parents to scold and chastise him . She was not his Friends who could cut him off from their circle. She was not The Police to book him for unruly behaviour . She was his Wife . His underdog . His plaything ! He was free to inflict any damage he wanted . ' And , this girl , Radha, takes it all , like a good wife ! Hahaha ! Applause for Traditional, small town upbringing !!! ' This realisation seemed to fuel the mean streak in him and no amount of prayers by Radha to all possible Gods gave any respite . It seemed like Karma , when Amma merely advised her to stay patient and not spoil her life by doing anything hasty . No one else , outside the family , had the faintest idea of what was happening inside the small apartment . The world only saw a quiet young couple going about their business . How she wished she could walk out of this Hell and start a life of her own ! .....but , it seemed too overwhelming , too impossible . And even after two years of endurance , there was no sign of hope at the end of the tunnel . It was too sudden . It had taken the truck less than a minute to crush both the bike and the rider beyond recognition. Rash driving by the biker , said onlookers . People at the funeral ceremonies pitied Radha who was crying her eyes out , inconsolably and continuously . Such a sad fate , for such a young girl , they said. Amma was distressed more by what Radha's future would be like . But she consoled her saying, 'at least now , your troubles were over . But Radha continued to grieve bitterly . Unspoken words kept circling within her heavy head : ' I wanted deliverance , Amma . But I was a coward who could not stand up to him . I lacked self confidence and self respect to walk out of the safety of this home . I was a shattered mess who could only concentrate on the present minute , only the day mattered . Every day when waking I had only one thought : that I should somehow get over this one day without getting subjected to his violence ......just for such momentary relief, for the first time , I mixed a sleep inducing medicine in his meal . So that I could have a day's relief ......i never expected he would go out on a sunday afternoon .He has never ever done that before and he never told me he was going out that day .....Oh Amma , I should have been patient as you advised .....but , just for momentary relief , I caused permanent ruin . How am I going to live with this torture of conscience , worse than what I endured till now ! ' Her tears kept flowing .