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Words To Stay Positive And Strong

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by nolife, Mar 10, 2018.

  1. nolife

    nolife Silver IL'ite

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    All my friends are married and i am the only one left divorced and left single in my batch. The feeling is quite painful.. its been y years since i got divorced and finding no luck for getting married.
    Gve me some positive words to have faith for getting remarried.. some how i lost hope and feeling like a dead person in this world earning money to live.
     
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  2. MonikaSG

    MonikaSG Gold IL'ite

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    Its difficult to stay with this feeling but still one should not lose hope with life. You are not married has so much positive in it.

    The first thing is you decided to come out of your previous marriage and had the courage to face the world. Most people don't have that and stay in dead marriage for life long.

    Second you are not getting married again. It may be because its difficult to find someone with whom you do not face problems as you did earlier and you are safe from all those sufferings.

    Third is getting married means living for others to get the love and security. This many times is more difficult to handle.

    Fourth if you are earning and have time then you can help poor with your money or can teach some poor children that can give you a sense of satisfaction of doing something for someone.

    Fifth try to find more divorcees near you and spend more time with them.

    Sixth give time to your self development and opt some hobby classes whatever you like.
     
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  3. Sandycandy

    Sandycandy Finest Post Winner

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    Marriage does not guarantee happiness all the time. It does provide companionship but there is no absolute guarantee that it will last a lifetime because of many reasons. One can only hope.

    There is no reason for you to feel that your classmates are doing better than you. You have your own struggles , your own unique journey to live with highs and lows and they have theirs. So there is no point comparing your life to anyone else.

    Dont tie all your happiness to finding or not finding a partner to remarry. You need to find that happiness within yourself first. Focus on your strengths ( I am sure there are plenty) , count your blessings ( I am sure there are some too ).

    This is a good time for you for personal development, traveling , pursuing hobbies and interests and living life to the fullest. Amidst all this you might find a well adjusted , like minded partner . Keep that search going but don’t let your life and happiness revolve around it. Don’t settle for less because you need someone to fill that void in your life. You deserve better ! Take care !
     
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  4. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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    Becoming a member of some hobby club helps to unwind and the bonus would be you might get some good friends or even a life partner. The best benefit here is that you grow as a person.

    Have you tried all the matrimonial sites and the social networking sites? Be very careful as there are too many wolves out there in sheep's clothing.

    Try delinking your self-esteem and self-worth from marriage and a partner. They are independent of each other.
     
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  5. Liri

    Liri New IL'ite

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    Dear nolife,

    Your pain has moved me to join this forum to write to you. First let me say, you are not alone.
    My divorce will be finalised in a few months after more than 2 years of separation which were filled with repeated efforts to fix the marriage. I understand your loneliness and that insidious inner voice that makes you question your self worth. I had gone through these stages both before my marriage and after its breakdown.
    I am sure there are plenty of other men and women with similar experiences like us. Relationships break, expectations go unmet, loneliness happens. None of this makes you a “loser” or a “nolife”. You are a unique human being, your life a divine gift. There is no other like you on this Earth, this is a simple scientific fact. All of us are special snowflakes with distinct DNAs :)
    Secondly, don’t look outside for happiness. A second marriage may or may not make you (and me and others like us) happy and content. We must do this for ourselves irrespective of whether we remarry. If you were once courageous enough to find your own path, don’t stop now.
    Thirdly, analyse your state of mind and break it down to the base parts. If it is loneliness, how to get out of it? Joining a social group, picking up a new hobby?
    If it is a feeling of failure, what would give you a sense of achievement? Career growth, learning a new skill/ language?
    If it is general hopelessness, what would once again make you feel like Emily Dickinson wrote?
    “Hope” is the thing with feathers -
    That perches in the soul -
    And sings the tune without the words -
    And never stops - at all

    I send you my love and best wishes.
     
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  6. Sandycandy

    Sandycandy Finest Post Winner

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    “ All of us are special snowflakes with distinct DNA” !! And my heart just melted reading that. I don’t do the finest post nomination thing, but if I did yours would totally be nomination worthy ! I hope you post more often here. Wish you the best !!


     
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  7. ratan

    ratan Silver IL'ite

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    @nolife .. First of all, You change ur name pls..! It sounds negative. It's a peaceful life.Unless you would get perfect suitable match , dont be hurry n worry. Marriage is a lifetime decision and remarry after divorce is more risky. Use discrimination & decision power carefully. All the best.
     
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  8. ranju5

    ranju5 Bronze IL'ite

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    You need to stop feeling sorry for your self. There is more to life than getting married. You have to write down all the positive points you have and you will be amazed as how amazing you are. If you believe in yourself you can do anything and everything so go ahead and say out loudly that you are AMAZING. and for more inspiration read
    The Little Book of Sass Paperback – January 3, 2018
    by Meera Sharma (Author) it is small pocket inspirational book and really gets your moving All the best
     
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  9. salad

    salad Gold IL'ite

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    @nolife 3 of my close people got divorced. As we all get married with so much hope and expectation nobody expected this twist. But it happened.

    One fully focused on career. Got onsite opportunities and moved away from native. It helped to get over the cross questions from family and friends. That change helped a lot. 4 years down the line once the divorce is finalized and court procedure are over she got married to a caring person who was also a divorcee.

    Second one went for higher studies to a different country. Same thing change helped her much and landed in a good job. Now she is mentally much relaxed and her parents are looking for proposals through matrimony.

    Third one was a boy. He still regrets divorcing his wife and Kid. It was a clear play of inlaws. Finally by the time he realized things, it went out of his hand. He travels, travels, travels. Career and traveling is his new hobby. His parents are hoping to get him married again soon.

    So my point is focus on what you have in your hand. Concentrate on career, try to find some new hobby and prepare yourself to move on. When you think you are ready, look onto matrimonial sites and may god bless you with a good match.
     
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  10. Shreema86

    Shreema86 Gold IL'ite

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    @nolife to attract the right person in your life you need to have a positive mindset. Before you expect someone else to fall in love with you, fall in love with yourself first. Don't compare yourself to anyone else, just because they are supposedly settlled doesn't mean they are happy . Its human need to want a relationship but if luck doesn't favor you on that end, you have to create an alternate happy ending for your life.. When one door closes , another opens . Cheer up, good luck.
     
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